i fell again, the same wounds
they opened up.
took pieces of me away
took me away
took away my mask,
the happiness everyone was used to  
the smile faded

my body is a vessel that can't handle my emotions no longer
they spill out of me
my eyes- tears fall
my fingertips- i hold on too strong or not at all
my lips- chapped
my hugs- full of something.. longing
my emotions are showing in everything i do
i can't stop

i am exposed
i am raw to the bone

every feeling that touches me makes me fall
every comforting word makes me doubt
every hand to hold lets go

no one to turn to
no one understands
no ones comfort is enough anymore

even when i reach out
even when i try to get help
there's always something else
sorry i can't talk to you right now, i'm high as ****

the people i thought i could rely on, i can't
the people i love, don't get it
the people that have been there from the start- everybody's too consumed in their own lives
who am i to disturb them?

all i feel is pain
all i feel is the ghostly lips of the past on my forehead
..telling me to let go
all i feel is negativity

i'm too far gone
too far in
too late

sleep doesn't heal me anymore
drugs are no good

everything good that has been in my life
the good i've built for myself
has been spread upon the skin of others
has been left in the places i can no longer go
the places that hold my secrets
the places i left my feelings with

i'm emotionally raw
vulnerable
and i just want to be relieved

i've been strong
i'm tired of fighting

"How can someone love you
If you don't love yourself?"
The words of therapists trying to help
Won't go away

They're right
I'd been thinking about it all wrong the whole time
There's
         Nothing
                     To love*
They didn't want me to be happy
They just wanted to put me out of my misery