I blame it on the easy things,
my parents,
past relationships,
black holes.
But it's always been me
that's been in
control.
Deciding to stop
when they told me to go.
Screaming out "yes"
as I was choking down "no."
Pressing the pedal
when I should've gone slow.
My actions and my words
never quite match up.
Saying I'm healthy
as smoke fills my lungs.
Calling myself an atheist
but telling it to God.
Sitting here wondering,
When will I stop?
I can blame it on the easy things,
stimulants,
a chemical imbalance,
the doctors white coat.
But it's always been me
that's been in
control.

Amaryllis beauty left hid away
with bleak existence day after day.
Searching for the beauty that filled my dreams;
like golden arched laughs on twinkling sun beams.

I cut the fork in the road, left casually my blood it begins to flow.
Bleeding down into the ground Ive sowed,
wishing now my time was owned.

But as I look down at the past
I begin to see how hope trickles fast.

For In the ground a flower bloomed
blood rose as the rest.
Subtle with its deadly perfume
It's beauty as pink as breast.

For the love it gives with subtle hues
Always remind me of you.

Cause your eyes knock me off my feet, and they don't seem to feel a ******* thing. I guess it's all up to fate, but what about our love and our hate? Are we powerless to what happens? Can we not create a future? Who knows.....hopefully one day. Hopefully when i find a way.

a way to you

Alone and out of time
your heart was the perfect crime
but i'm left here waiting, waiting on a cue
though i try and make a plan
i sorta just began
to see clearly, that i do need you

so if you'll come and sit closer dear
i'll whisper in your ear the things i love
but if you stay; decide to walk away
my entire life will fade to gray

and as i look around
conflicted by your crown
i'm confused as to if i should've bowed
but everything's okay
i'll make it through the day
and return, return to the crowd