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I am underneath,
My eyes closed
Its warmth cascading,
Refreshing,
Alleviating,
My soul, reflecting,
Its touch, soothing,
Cooling
Calming
So relaxing
I am extending,
For my blues, I'm chasing,
Away~~~with the water flowing
My pain...disappearing.

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SHOWER  THERAPY

   by

  Sally

      Copyright 2013
     Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
The circumstances,
The clouds that once dimmed my mind
Are now gone...
I now see the light...bright...
Maybe, it is just wise,
Better, easier,
To change directions...
It behooves me
To fight the wind.
What else is new with pain?
We've been friends since time immemorial,
Pain and I...
Again, I shall survive...
Letting go would be my crucible,
Each passing day would be nothing less...
I would never be aware, when
Time, they say would be of help...
When sun and moon and stars,
Would bring lively colors to life anew...,
When there would be new reasons
To live for...to die for...
I shall face the challenge once again...
Just maybe, I could love someone new...
There would never be an equal,
Because I loved you first.
In all these confused moments
I find myself drowning in,
Nothing will ever change...
The fact still remains...
Friends, we shall always be...
Friends is all we'll ever be...
Be assured, I shall forever stay,
Your   O n e   T r u e   F a n ...
Ask me "Why?"
Same old answer...
" J u s t   B e c a u s e..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Sally

   Copyright 2013
       Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
i wanna feel like the ink in a pen does
as it crimps and curls and dances its way across a naked page

i wanna feel like the page being filled

give me a pulse like a double-time war drum
     thudTHUDDing towards crescendo
     with a cymbol-crash ache
and flesh that winds my spine and river bed curves
     like a stretch of highway on a midnight drive
     that fades into the face of the moon

gimme some of that star-stuff sparkle in my pete moss eyes
a few of saturn's rings 'round my hula-hips
and a solid kiss
     right on the lips

               yeah

when i grow up
          i think i'd like to be in love
i choose to walk beside you.
we walk this journey together, you and i,
distant by earth’s miles, but not by the heart’s;
each knowing the other, less by the lines of our faces
and more through the footprints we leave on the pathway,
the pools of wisdom we leave beside it
for others to step into, enjoying its coolness,
soaking deeply in its cleansing,
allowing it to wash away the dust, the soil,
the tears of the journey.
here, now and until you need them no longer
i offer you mine.
lift the cup high, over your head and
let them run, splashing all the way to the ground…
let them wash your dusty, weary feet.

i choose to care for you.
those words spoken casually by some,
but intently from one whose compassion
becomes a torrent in seasons as this,
from one who has known the heart break of loss,
sent swiftly to you,
rushing down to a parched valley…
not in voluminous, drowning torrent,
but in rivulets of refreshing all around you;
ointment to apply to your wounds.
let this be salve to your loss-torn soul.

i choose to share with you.
graces, extended to me from others who saw the pain,
the burden, the travail of my journey,
these graces becoming mine to pass on.
words sent in comfort;
arms to wrap ‘round, hold and strengthen;
wisdom to bind up a broken heart…
grieving with you,
my tears i blend with yours
as together we weep.
please, drink these graces,
every drop of peace, hope and comfort…
let these revive your longing heart.

i choose to encourage you.
drink deeply from my well for the journey ahead.
draw from the graces of others all around you.
store it, hold it, let it revive and energize.
draw from the wisdom of the Ancient of Days,
for she lives…
she speaks to all who will hear, who will listen.
let her restore your tired mind.

*all of this…
this is what i mean when i say today,
“i choose to grieve with you”
Post Script:

written first for r, but sent now to Maria, who's grief knows no bounds.  when words fail me, i can offer only tears and my love.

“blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”  matt 5:4

until we suffered the devastating loss of our 25 year old son, i did not know how to grieve.  he would now be 30 years old.  today i know so much more, though i still have so much more to learn.  

a civilized society is not defined by its shiny achievements nor by its soaring, technological advances, but by the way it treats its most vulnerable souls.
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