Keep me silenced
a well of anxiety
to dip guilt into,
as a pen that runs out of ink
before the thought is finished,

a morning spent in solitude,
surrounded by so much hustle,
an exclamation,
a gasp,

and it always bothered me
that he was called Winnie the Pooh,
because what the ****'s a pooh?
'An exclamation of discontent,'
and that is all I seem capable
of being lately.

The colored pigments and figments
of my loose-leaf imagination.

All the tortured souls,
identical in their melancholy,
each one wailing
in a uniform cry to be unique.

I must leave my mark on the world,
but the ground is a beach
and people are waves.
We're all on our deserted islands
with our footsteps washed away.

So very few escape.
I want to be one of those stars,
or even just a smile,
but I am lost beneath the waves.
Trying to keep silent,
and I guess it's for the best,
because my pen's run out of ink,
and anyway,

I'm just another sound.

Inspiration comes to me
at such strange times
I'm listening to saxophones
but all I hear is you
and I try to write it down.

You are a percussionist
and that is necessary
because what is a heart,
what is life,
what is love,
without a rhythm?

Take me with you
let me be a vagabond
to ease you on your travels
let me live my life behind you
separate but connected
I want to see what you see
but in a different way
I want to take pictures of mountains
and hear metal music muffled outside clubs
I want to share your moments
but then have my own as well
and then we can come together
and tell each other stories
as we make our own as one.

City streets
and urban life
have their own crisp flavor
like a strawberry on a December morning
a taste of spring in winter's cold.

I want to kiss you
behind the frozen waterfall
that lives now as a fairytale
inside my memories.
You see, that's what you do.
You take dreams I've crafted inside my head
and twirl them through your fingers,
spilling color from your breath;
you make them real.

It's hard

because I want to tell the world
of all the happiness you give me,
but no amount of words I scribble down
can ever express adequately
all the things you are.

I've tried

writing songs and writing poems;
you're the hero in all of my stories,
because even in writing fiction
you creep in, because finally
the real world reflects
what I've seen in my head.

You shine

like every star that's ever lived,
like every sun expanding, endless in the universe,
and I look up to you
and we stand equal in this space
and we are one.

It's love.

You taught me how to speak my feelings,
or rather, made me comfortable.
So many things I knew how to do,
but never did.
You showed me myself
through touches on my skin,
and in miniscule steps
we inched closer to the edge
of being two separate souls.
I thought becoming one would be scary,
even as I wished for it to happen.
But when I looked at you
and how our fingers looked entwined,
I suddenly
was unafraid to fall.

I want to write poetry again
but all the words seem overused and stale
I feel pretentious even now
because who wants to hear these thoughts
that rattle like change in an old gelato jar
it's just noise.

The irony of writing poems about not writing poems
is not lost on me.

Stories told of tales of old
May make the heart beat faster
Say goodbye to silent skies
Preventing the disaster
Hold your heart and tear apart
The dreams that leave you sleeping
Tear-stained eyes and thin-veiled lies
Take promises for keeping
Battle scars and shooting stars
May make amazing dreams
But careful dear, control your fear
For nothing's as it seems.

There is a small cage sitting on my desk.
I relate to it more than I should.
Struggling to be free,
but too small for anyone to notice.

Except you.
You see me.

He climbed out of a sunrise
and left my world shining
with clear cut diamonds in my eyes.

And I will fly to where you cannot reach me,
and banish thoughts of darkness to the night,
for though the moon is shining light to guide me,
these shadows smother wings designed for flight.

So many locked doors,
so many fumbling keys.

You were the only one to knock.

My definition of joy is you.

Without darkness, the light would leave us blinded.
Contrast.
Contrast gives us beauty.
Perspective.
Appreciation.
You cannot love the sun unless you also take the moon as your lover,
and embrace its twisted shadows in your arms.

Resonate.
To resonate with someone,
to feel their vibrations in your heart,
to be one with them,
shoulder to soul and soul to shoulder.
It's like looking in a mirror and finally seeing the part of you you couldn't see on all those nights alone.

I see wings on people's backs of different colors.
They rustle,
sometimes restlessly,
and I hear the flutter of their feathers.
Some are yellowed, some are black;
mine are grey, and slightly tattered.
Yours were grey too,
but yours glowed.

Belief.
In here it lacks conviction, passion.
Belief.
I am ****** for believing in music more than I believe in God.
In church you're supposed to raise your hands and loudly proclaim for all to see.
So many splayed fingers,
so many gaping mouths.
I'm not convinced.

And as I gaze at candle flames wavering from my breath,
I am reminded of a love for you that shines as bright and hot as desert bonfires,
but just as easily is diminished by a puff of air,
if you chose.
And fear melts my heart like candle wax,
and it drips into my lungs
and burns my breath.

I wrote down words and folded them into paper boats.
Music and memories tucked away in fragile constructs.
I set them a-sail in floodwaters,
their voyages doomed, with my approval.
I wanted to forget you.
I still do.

If falling stars only last a moment,
I'd like for you to be an asteroid,
leaving craters on my heart
because your impact will never be forgotten.
Like wishes lost, forgotten long ago,
I pray on meteorites blazing dreams across the sky.

And I will read old letters to make my heart ache again,
in yearning for the softness of your skin.
But knowing days are coming as a certainty,
my heart can't wait to see your face again.

My hands are cold on nights alone,
with no amount of breath enough to warm them.
I am frozen in a wasteland,
wherein you are the only heat.
My sun in a sunless sky,
and star falling in a vacuum.

I lay by candlelight and wait for you to take me in your arms.
But I know you will not come,
and I wish to set my head aflame;
a flare to guide you home.

When thunderstorms lie dormant
is the time when my heart sings.
Despite my love for sunny skies
and shining wedding rings,
my heart will cry for thunder,
raging through the towns and trees,
to take my soul to splashing,
making waves as angry seas.

The lightning flares my soul,
prepares my heart for greater things
than fancy driver's licenses
and long forbidden things.
So very soon I'll fly away
to where I've never been.
And you'll have never known me,
and you never will again.

There was a place. A not so...happy place, but a place. A place is a nice thing to have. It's better than not having a place. Places are wonderful things to go to, wonderful things to be going from, and wonderful places to be. Places exist, just like people, and have as many different personalities. Tastes. Textures. Perspectives.
This place was a good place. As said before, it was not a happy place. But not all happy things are good, and not all good things are happy. It was a creative place. A dark place. A fantastical place. All in the eyes of a would-be child in a world of adults. Berating, beating down, questioning their every move. Questioning every action, every dream, every aspiration. Discouragement. Deception. Manipulation.
So this is why the place existed. It was not a happy place, but a good place. A distraction from the hateful world outside itself. But it was a place of illusion, and the soul who created it knew this, and that is why it was not happy. There was the illusion of happiness, but deep down, the child knew that it was not real. And the tears became the rivers, and the shudders earthquakes, and the cries thunder in the valleys.
It was an outlet for the child's imagination. Though the child knew it was not real, sometimes the illusion was enough for the young heart to follow. The child could do anything they wanted there, away from prying eyes. They could create. Flow. Dream. Build.
Be.
Whoever they wanted to be.
Whatever they wanted to be.

It was a beautiful place.
An escape.

The lights are strung across the sky
As if to count the lost goodbyes
Each star a life, a love so bright
Together they defeat the night

To make it safe, and full of light
To send away the doubt and fright
To send out love in shooting stars
And to erase the pain and scars

Wish upon a star tonight
And into your once blinded sight
A love will shine, like lighted candle
Nothing's too much for you to handle

The stars are candles in the sky
Upon the canvas up so high
I wish upon a shooting star
And ask the nighttime where you are.

Do you see me? Do you see me?
I am here now, can't you see?
I am flailing my legs at you!
Can't you see me? Look at me...
Oh! You've seen me, please, now help!
My life depends on you.
You are looking at me strangely,
And now you've gone from view.
As I watch, I know you're helpless;
There is naught you'll do for me.
Yes, I know now, you're a person,
And I'm nothing but a bee.
My strength is failing anyway.
I guess it's time to die.
Oh human, please remember me.
I'm leaving now, good-bye.

It was morning when it faded.
Death in ironic sunlight.
When the soul was lifted softly
And surrendered to the night.

Movements of trees
Flight
Unseen
Never dying
Never living
Hard
Heart
Never Feeling
Never seeing

Hear me.
Feel me
Twist me
Hurt me
Make me
Live.
Cast me
Outside
In heat
In cold
In sun
In rain
Make me
Yours.

Open me
Close me
See me
Feel me
Hate me
Hate me
Love
Me.

And I will never die.

You grasp for something just out of your reach.
It's there, and you can see it, but you're scared.
And it's that fear that's lengthening the distance;
You're lost, and want someone who really cares.

You need to reach, you need to strike the fear down
And be yourself; be who you really are.
Turn your back on darkness, laugh out loud.
Be full of life, and shining like a star.

We find ourselves between these stars
The distance separates our hearts
We bask in starlight, never knowing
We could be so much more than glowing
You are the diamond, you're the core
That my heart longs to adore
I want to take your soul in mine
And let our constellations line
Up with our hearts, our meek desires
Ignite and burst out into fire
If I had the strength to stand
Beyond the space and take your hand
The points of stars would spark and shine
And maybe I could call you mine
So many stars, but yours the one
That catches my heart in its sun
I want to be your shooting star
The supernova in your heart
We shine apart, maybe forever
But maybe we could shine together...

Today seemed like a day I should be silent.
The silence seemed so absolute, every small sound
reverberating intensely.
My annoying voice would shatter such a perfect peace.
Perhaps a song.
If a song were to break out over this lake,
causing ripples in its surface,
clear and bright, that might be acceptable.
The silence their audience,
a brilliant song.

I wish it so, but I know my voice has not that song,
and in thinking so I find I've lost it altogether.
So I sit back, a supportive member of the audience.

So step up; we're listening.
We silenced wait for your beautiful lucid song.
Someone to save us from the silence we trapped ourselves in,
afraid to break perfection.
Someone to tell us that imperfection is something that's okay.

Your song can rescue us.
Your voice can come and let us sing again.
Let your music ring across this silence.
We'll rise up, a chorus of flaws, and be beautiful.
Set us free.
Sing.

Foolish the one who sees the sea
And wants to jump into the sky
But maybe it's those who dare to fall
That aren't afraid to die

Standing on the shore, I'm staring
At reflections rippling by
And I think, if I just touch them
Maybe I could reach the sky

My fingers graze the surface
And my body follows through
Passing through a mirror of ocean
To a world of white and blue

And I grow wings like cloudscapes
Spreading fearless 'cross the skies
Drops of sunlight sparkle brilliantly
A sunset in my eyes

But suddenly my dream wings
Dissipate without a sound
As they disappear, I'm falling
Hurtling down to the ground

All the colors fade behind me
And I close my eyes in fear
All anxiety returned
That so recently disappeared

Growing closer to the earth
I brace myself for the impact
What a fool to be a dreamer!
Just to leave those wishes cracked

The wind stopped whirring suddenly
I opened up my eyes
I was standing on the shore again
And staring at the sky

Was I flying or just falling?
Was it daydream? Was it real?
I was left there with emotions
That I never thought I'd feel

I was the foolish dreamer
That hoped she could touch the sky
But although her wings were true
She was terrified to die

But a world like that exists there
And that I could not deny
It was a dream, but for a moment
I had learned to fly.

The rain was beating fierce outside her window
Her heart found shadows pleasing to the eye
She pressed her hands against the cold glass window
And gazed as storm clouds rolled across the sky

A thought, a hope, a wish welled up inside her
And she sought to become a part of storm
She opened up her window and climbed outside
And left the place where it was safe and warm

She stood and stared into the growing darkness
And mouthed a wish for solitude to end
She threw her arms up high and shouted louder
But her voice was caught up inside the wind

But she screamed as though her heart had been torn from her
And the lightning flashed, releasing all her pain
As thunder rolled her wish for peace was granted
She spread her wings and she became the rain.

And this is love, and we will last forever.
These wings so harshly broken, spread again.
Lift up my heart and take me home to paradise,
And carry me with you upon the wind.

I looked up from my writing in the forest.
I heard the chime of bells from far away.
My world was interrupted by your rustling;
Your wings comeing to bring me a new day.

You chanced upon this place within yur travels.
My heart was closed and still to your advance.
But you broke through the walls and left me startled.
I had no choice but to give you a chance.

My heart inside me trembled at your first touch.
It shook when your lips met mine with a kiss.
You took my hand and led me into your arms,
And I found what I'd thought my life had missed.

You took the sorrows that seemed neverending,
And transposed them until I couldn't see,
Because of light so transformed by the darkness.
You opened up the better part of me.

These thoughts of you are flying round my dream world.
These feelings soaring through my open sky.
You came to me from far beyond the rainbow,
And I swear I will love you till I die.

Before the rise
Before the fall
Before the start
Before the stall
Before the peace
Before the war
Before the less
Before the more
Before the cut
Before the stab
Before the bright
Before the drab
Before the one
Before the two
Before the me
That loved you.

And maybe I'm about to fall
Push me up against the wall
And kiss me
Save me
Don't erase me

Let the time go by in days
And maybe as my heart decays
You'll love me
Take me
Again

And maybe time's an empty threat
To satisfy the foolish bet
I found you
I cracked you
And time fell to pieces.

My bed is my skyboat
And you are my sky
But I'm missing my sun
Can you please tell me why?
Though I welcome the storm clouds
And welcome the rain
I did not expect
To miss you again
My compass was set
Now is in disarray
And my sails are bereft
Now that you've gone away
Be my sun, be my shadow
But don't be my crash
As the lightning and thunder
Of confusion clash
Perhaps in a daydream
Or far away sky
We'll remember and laugh
'Bout our days gone awry
My bed is my skyboat
The sky is my sea
Oh please won't you please
Dear, come sailing with me?

A billowed breeze awakens all
To greet with morning, journey's call

Sit under trees, by rivers deep
Finding a safe place to sleep

Write upon the stones of time
Cast away reason and rhyme

But to do this, travel far
To nearest hill and farthest star

But keep your heart
Where it belongs
Return to me
And right all wrongs.

I dreamd that you wanted to dance with me.
I've dreamed many dreams,
but never one quite...like...this.
I'm surprised at the concept,
but I cannot say unpleasantly.
So many dreams you have caused to come true.
Why not this one?
And though this one might never be,
still I choose to dream.
Maybe one day...

Ah, here comes the morning.
Though the dream ends,
you're still here
with me.

So I get up
and write you a song
that you will never hear.

A silence lingers in your eyes
A broken will, a compromise
That shattered all that was your heart
So delicately pulled apart

Now all emotions show their faces
Worried looks and quickened paces
To escape the dreaded past
That causes all this pain to last

The falling tears, disgraceful smiles
Entices hope to stay a while
But finding lies behind your eyes
Takes quick retreat into the skies

Left in the darkness, all alone
With nothing but your heart of stone
Reveal your wins and take to flight
For somewhere lies the hidden light

I hope that you can find the light
And find the strength you need to fight
The inner turmoil, the twisted ways
The paths that lead to darkene days

So few make it, so many fail
Some ships don't get the chance to sail
Most sink into the endless sea
Where darkness fails to set them free

But some will find it; some will fly
Across the sea into the sky
And there they'll find among the clouds
Escape from all of evil's shrouds

And live they shall
With no more sorrow
And where they are
Is our tomorrow.

It feels like I am alone.
The streets are empty, and the houses sit stolidly and lifeless.
The only human sound is my footsteps.
I should feel like I'm being watched,
but I don't.
The birds are the only ones who see me.

The sun is at my back,
and the birds sing their morning songs without an audience.
An otherwise cheerfl morning.
I like the feeling that nothing is wrong.
I like how my problems fade into the sky.
If only they stayed there...

It's at times like these
when it feels like the world isn't half bad.
It's at times like these
when I feel like peace is attainable for me.

It's at times like these
when I look down at the ground and realize
that my shadow is prettier than me.

Oh little bird with broken wings,
Do you not know that you are loved?
While sinking into darker things,
Your heart has strayed from a life above.

I say not heaven; I say not hell.
I say not you are sick, unwell.
I know you've set yourself apart,
But I know there's love inside your heart.

And as it was I found out that I
loved you.
I opened up my heart; you
fluttered in.
And you showed me that there is more
than sorrow.
And now my soul is new and whole
again.

A fire's burning somewhere in the darkness.
I once sat in its light, but was drawn away
as swiftly as a shadow flees the sun.
I remember the flames dancing, burning,
turning dead wood into gold before my eyes,
the sparks jumping and zigzagging into the sky
like so many souls ascending to heaven,
wishing,
for once,
to be the stars they once gazed upon,
and wondering if maybe,
just maybe,
they could be remembered.
If they could shine upon the earth forever,
living as reflections in the eyes of those soon to join them.
Crackling into the night,
holding the darkness at bay just a little while longer,
shielding the hearts around it from their own shadows.
I don't know if it's still burning,
or if it has already submitted to the darkness,
as all fires do eventually.
But I will remember them, those flames,
burning as a last defiance to the darkness.
And to those souls in waiting,
I hope for you safe travel.