6.19 am
yesterday after work i got the news
that another had died sudden

there was nothing could be done.

so it goes.

before the news it was a lively day
mostly
at mill

two splendid folk especially
that will remain
in memory

i remember their names
i remember their shoe sizes

at home
the news came
and i wearied

the day quietened

so it goes

James

classic fm
wifi ok

Yes we are all aging together and it is part of life. There are compensations for me: things not allowed in youth are permissable now. So i gets plenty of ice creams….

I have mailed Carol as I see I am on a big day out next Tuesday so am unable to come over for the meeting, and I am sorry.

I remembered proverbs and wrote the bit below. Please send my greetings to all and also from Rosey. Have a good summer and maybe see you in Port.

while all around is breaking,
hold on to the inner core,
strong centre that helps us dance,
strictly.

remember unwritten rules of
etiquette renumbering the you,
after the queue. take your turn.

wait in line, it will turn up in
the lower drawer,
sleep on it like the cat.

today will draw the shoes
for erasure and carry on regardless.





the copper beech is leafless now.

sbm.

critical.  some things are not for sale.



you see.

it is

not about money

nor gain.



critical. heard things

you disliked.     they

saved your life

didn’t                they?



critical and        difficult

on all sides.       it is not

a competition, we shall

not paint it white.   the



upper rooms.



sbm.

the bear looked up and asked

have you written any thing today?



no, not much.



so then , no one will know

what has happened

today.



no.



sbm..

i searched for the ravages of time,

it seems a phrase i have not used recently.

it seems i ought to keep quiet,

and get on with it any way.

there are enough disturbances in the world,

without another.

butterflies.

sbm.

they may not like a controversal opinion, so cross it out in black.

i think that red may hit the mark better if there was a facility we

we used to amuse, may be delight, then it was censored. banned



to the bin.



quiet now, you will not hear any controversy, you may only read it



here.

cancelled my apprenticeship

neatly.



there.

only bought for decoration.

sometimes it is good
to stop suddenly beyond
unreasonable doubt. you

may find things you like,
people to inspire you
with paintings, stories
of
grecian gowns, gathered.

we are both going to london.

sbm.

the blue is a prim,
and pretty room, draped
with musical games
of chance,
for settling here.

harp strings
relay the vital net.
after Shakespeare.
the visitors leave,

lord Byron wrote
of hours of idleness,
the letters below,
and all the while
you have no love for me,
worrying over the empty barn.

sbm.

can be a difficulty, having

to say that we do not know.

that we have to count, check,

count again.

that we get distracted, disturbed,

by other matters, come back,

miscount.

it is not some thing we can google,

so we have lists, lines and rulers.

when all is done, we sign and date

the work away.

then start again.

sbm.

means despite of,
yet sitting, write each day.

while clothes are aired
ready. the dog fed
layed belly down, asleep.

while the cat belches prettily,
stalks back out to open air,

writing continues not with standing.

some times in bed sitting,
now curled – the sofa.

a night of dreams has left,
the same dream over.

i do not write in spite of,
i write because .

sbm.

sound sounds like this in english. sounds familiar.

in the morning,             heartening                 lorries,

mansel davis, north to south and back again reverse

turn.



garden, sounds fresh so early,                           outdoor

noise.      indoors,

the radio plays.                                             brittle.      news

mumbo jumbo of politics.



birds sing.



tinnitus continues,                                                 softer now





sbm.

nearly every year

on this type of day when

vapours, mists hang in the valley it

enters the mind , a cellular

memory,  annual anniversary

born ages back

enduring.

recurring each time without apology

so yes, you are ok, i think so anyhow



i shall miss my visits up the hill

to your house

looking at the string by your front door



i shall miss your pretty living room

the folded paper by the fire all so tidy



so i shall knit you a cloth for your stove

handle

cos it is hot

to touch



when we toast the buns

and i burn them. i shall

miss the butter and your

tidy ways



maybe in the autumn i

will be allowed out to visit again

to sit by your fire

and feel safe



with you

rain falls, black bird calls…

instead of the same every time,

see how it turns out, it could be

better.



depends,

on what one hopes for. maybe

we thought that word was

easily understood, never

under estimate the power,

the mis interpretation

of one sound.



the class went very well.

sbm.

so i thought, yet time indicates habits,
caring for others even the inanimate.

worrying over squirrel that stole
the chicken grain, grave danger
of losing life.

yes, it is my turn now, and this
includes all of lifes little
idiosyncrasies
and difficult spellings.

typing comes hard when the cat
paws the bed, and thinks it her time too.

so it is, we must all have a turn, and refer
to the thesaurus regularly.

then we will learn another word
for it.

sbm.

we are hand writing, at the table

fire lit, radio playing. scratching

words in time, rhythm comes

naturally, birds beat the window,

cold now, little feathers hoping

for food.

we now descend into darkness,

curtain drawn into night,

november.

mistakes crossed, all can see

the errors ,the blots,that soak

the skin, the stain within.

i am hand writing.

sbm.

second time the title .
we quote some numbers, unmentionable
for some will snigger. we need a double
throw to get out of jail, move forward,
one dice. the dayword was impossible.

on reflection, it is all  satisfactory, we
shall buy the board, aquire another throw.

it will be waiting in the games room.

the hydro hotel.

sbm.

i limped.

into the cathedral.
my life will be sorted,
if i bought the book @
£1.99, said suffering is
good.

i looked at the boys,
looked at the floor,
read ecclesiastes,
we are as dust,

and limped out.

sbm

things happen and it is mighty fine
to hear you talk about the woods
and the animals again

i guess i missed that
though laundry chat
was somehow satisfying

things moved on here workwise
and glad to see such a moment

we talked of spores quite briefly
while oak leaves came to mind

then enjoyed the shape of a poppy

seed head

i woke at five surprised to see it
had come bright, then leaning the
window find that the shepherd’s
outside light is on

i guess he is lambing

this time of year

6.19

numbers

reduced, and knowing how you like your nuts,                                           i bought them.

the small boy chuckled.

radio four this morning, suggested dropping ***** ( another laugh, small child) notice that mistakes do not **** us,                                        mortified though we can be in error.



i have worked this way a while for interest, and am still awake and                breathing.



this morning i forgot a while,   radio waves me back on track.                    i have mended

the plate, my fingers

stick.



sbm.

there are moments when we have no words.



moments when we stutter repeatedly. nerves

kick in.



there was a time far ago.       when we slurred.



when we suffered.

we threw the crutch away.



sometimees we fall over.



still.



sbm.

the night draws round,and while the lights
are out we wander in the gloom,
wondering.

why was the work on censorship, censored,
why
was mrs ciano rejected?

why do people be angry. make choices.

yes sir you may buy the ring, for a
thousand pounds, or choose to save
someones life.

sbm.

over the way we find

crab apples ready

to gather for jellies

or other niceties

because

eating plain food without

relish is *******

i shall be off line a while,


while



all is well, all well.

©sbm

shall we go away to reinvent   ourselves,

come back angry,                      writing

bitter words of                      discontent,

expecting other’s            understanding.

shall we write vile words              about

our  fellows, to them ,  hiding in profile,

masking internet.               complaining

widely rather than deal, as we are    dealt.

shall lines deepen, etched in           glorious

bitterness, or shall we return quietly, remain

just the same?

sbm.

shall we go way to reinvent   ourselves,

come back angry,                      writing

bitter words of                      discontent,

expecting other’s            understanding.

shall we write vile words              about

our  fellows, to them ,  hidiing in profile,

masking internet.               complaining

widely rather than deal, as we are    dealt.

shall lines deepen, etched in           glorious

bitterness, or shall we return quietly, remain

just the same?

sbm.

i shall be off line

a while.



while all may

be well.



sbm.

oh absalom, my son, my son.

cry out,  travel miles to

worship,  purify.



pray for him, the note

says all is disorder.



travel miles to tell those who

cannot hear, nor listen.



yet. if you cannot believe all

that is told, find a place your

own.



never mind the ancestors, absalom

my son.



sbm.

it has been written before.



the first shall be last,
the last shall come first,

so saith.  first shall be last; and the last shall be first. …. honour, were first in this world, of the first rank and figure, should be the last in the world to come: first shall be last; and the last shall be first. …. honour, were first in this world, of the first rank and figure, should be the last in the world to come: first shall be last; and the last shall be first. …. honour, were first in this world, of the first rank and figure, should be the last in the world to come: first shall be last; and the last shall be first. …. honour, were first in this world, of the first rank and figure, should be the last in the world to come:

so saith,     they saith.

they come in  old cars,

small black .    sitting

forward concentrating.



some run a marathon.



sbm.

I watch the blanket breathe,
hope it will never stop.

white, cellular, keeping warm,
the one I love, so vehemently.

scares me, this intensity of feeling,
that never stops,

and continues when the blanket lays quiet……

sbm.

educate, repair by       demand

a change of thinking. one way

leads to another they say.    so



who are they,

how come

they say



so much.



there was no radio    this morning.



i wondered if we were at war again.



there is one particular word. the other

is different.



maybe we need to define the path?



wear stronger boots?


sbm.

should be put away.

i know the rules,

the diatribe with grief,

reoccuring.



we have seen the wheel spin,

slower now.



feeling seeps

into winter.



there were a few of them,

or was it two?



sbm.

drove home early, returned in the afternoon.



he saved me a sandwich. had a bit of a beard,

clean pyjamas.



we seemed happy.



sbm.

remembrance.

no one needs the books.

really



by bus each day 11.25 to arrive

by one. with gifts.



return on the 3.25, home late

to hide ready



to start again.



sbm.

did the trick,
covered the label nicely.

white shiny boxes, free to
those that work there.

nicer than throwing away,
a waste.

these will go into exhibition,
full of archives from the past,
not locked behing glass.

she gave me the old photos,
i had lost them,
yesterday

I found them.

sbm.

old pots are cheaper, chipped,

more attractive in an old place.

we shared them.

plants are more attractive, here

in this old place, run by the man

in the large house.

we shared them.

it was a lovely day, we shared it.

sbm.

he  sat on the step in the heat,

I, sickly dozed under

the damson tree.


lizards flicked.


while in the village

below this hill

music played.


a wedding.

sbm

Image

is enough.



this is not politics. some of us have changed our thinking

to suit our life.

end games.



sbm.

pleased to hear of the funds

for that bike

go get it soon





i was drawing yesterday

and if things continue

as they are

i shall be here drawing some time





while

that is a comfort

much else is cancelled





work today

then a week

of social distancing





as it is now known.

of november, remembering when
half the skin was gone, black
dress hanging.

remembering standing before
poetry,
half the words gone, the artist
we hope to be.

half times two is one.

we have multiplied.

numbers.

sbm

i wrote one hundred words,       exactly.

did i say much?                  i cannot tell .

i can tell you a it may be a        sad tale

of death, and collection, of folk gathering

by the gate.                    by my gate it fell.

sbm.

first i scanned the doll
then had it printed large
for london

photographed the print
using an app

one man with camera
no longer available

the sun shining slantways in the studio

i think



time

read

his blog sometimes

not regular



one small thing

he is not the holy ghost



# let nothing annoy nor irritate



i can think of nothing at present

not one small thing

cold weather, a hot night you

haunted me, collapsed     one

hour after midnight.        sick.

tired i woke          remembered

you had gone a long          time

now.

later i sit and sew,         think of

all those things.
verb
past tense: achieved; past participle: achieved
sbm.

leads to another,

torn paper
may be fish.

important work
or less.

crumpled,
a memory
of silk.

to place in reverence
or start the fire.

i have learned
not to believe
all i think.

sbm.

wet here. gave up gardening at four. slates slippy.
looking forward. slightly anxious about the bus change as ever.
food. will eat most. small portions. do not drink alcohol  nor drinking chocolate  ever.
forget what else you asked.
shall like to walk about your area and go to a market. being with you both will be a treat.
bus times are the same. will text if we are delayed at all.
thank you.
sbm.

how intersting that must be
sitting up

when one awakes

holes in the heart
the mind

we went on a new walk
in hot sun unexpected

i stood to view nannau afar
covered the scar for fear of
infection

again

for fear of being me

i behaved impeccably
i feel apart from the
photograph incident

is she home?
is the cat still home?

i can walk miles quietly

yesterday the planes flew over low
the mind cleared of the news of him
dying

we carry on

good morning
summer morning
knapweed patch
is flowering well

i  fell on love today .



the dress all ripped and ******.



some hedges are higher than others. i wrote so.



a thing so private, so intense .



simple , complex. no one will see it.



bed gown .



sbm.