it is a smart bike with just a capital for your name
this morning which
bodes with rain & pastural lyrics

i see there is a little rack on back for your shopping

nice

i had a basket on the front for that and later days
the little dog

before she died

i thought of another bike yesterday
walking down the track

it is busy now with the summer here
it never used to be                now it is
very popular to be avoided by
folk like me

who enjoy being solitary

she talked a lot and that is ok
i gave myself breaks and looked about

i do find people interesting yet it is
good to pull back inside later

the i/me

you have bears?

my other self
when things get rattled

i watched a documentary regarding brexit
the bear sighed.

with a full stop after

i have worked with niches before
in aberaeron

now i stay local
or dispay on holiday

your name

with a capital letter as has she

regards to you both
today this lovely day
without a comma there

friday 19 july
news talks of dreadful car crash
&
america shooting down a drone
while
birds sing

the day arrives damp in lower case
a few knapweeds have flowers

i walked through them yesterday
to feed the birds. while some may
say overgrown
it felt lovely

i may photograph it later

we went to the gallery
and though i tried hard
my mouth let loose

she noted that i was constructive
and said nothing nasty. it was involuntary

a nice time by bus, my car gears gone
sticky

today i walk the old railway track
down to the pub by the toll bridge
there

which means i will sleep well
after the exercise

i usually sleep well anyhow
leaving the radio on
the window wide

stone walls you mention stone walls
we have them here all over even up
over the mountain

slate ones too utilising slate waste
looking like rows of grey graded teeth

yes the work the labour and who they
used to build

bromnleys boys worked on some here
a pleasure to watch. i add the white crystal stones
in the niches week by week

when i find them

i like moving stones about

i note that i am writing from this perspective
of i/me, what else

the tank man talked to me a while yesterday
about a soiree which should have an accent
over the ‘e’, said i will have liked it

i put him straight on that one
i like to talk to him. it is refreshing

i like the weathered look come unintentional

i looked out for my friends house too described
as the one with all the plants outside on the pavement

there were four like this
no front gardens so they place the pots so pretty

may be a muddle when i visit

news come from the bbc so it is time
to carry on, lets carry on

Sonja 7.00 am
cat yowling
mist down the valley
warm

she declared her age

as an opening line

added that the teeth were hers



real and her hair undyed

as natural



a sister  still blond

her twin



she called me dear

and

my toes curled

Your words remind me of the joy  I felt with my first adult bike at 18, sweeping about the countryside. Dorset. Evenings.

I could not buy a car. I had no freedom then really & too scared to try.

Here we spell them tyres and glad for you they are coming.

My house is very old.

Full on day yesterday at Mill unpacking leather goods . The smell clings.

I needed help with my revulsion. The chamois and deer skins. She helped me and we became giggly despite the sadness.

Once again it is a pretty day and I have found that the tall plants are knapweed, and nearly flowered. The news plays on with out any good news . I am sure there is some, and I am sure it comes from the little things. they do not broadcast that,

I am pleased now with the not linen top described as linen. They gave me half my money back and it becomes a pyjama top. Loose and cool.

Your tales of your area and cold tea are of those words found in a novel. For me.

A surreal film. It has the makings of the sort I like, slow and determined.

The days move forward, we focus on the pleasantness mainly. We worry over the rest.

Now they play Elgar and I must get on with the day. Enjoy your new tires, your expeditions .
Sonja
6.29
With Capitals

i watched that & liked the alien



then

i watched a film documetary about pygmies

& how the bigger guys picked on them

thought they owned them



so it

continues

late now
an internet outage
so i drove to fetch fuel
early

he said those things…..

i read an article yesterday about the thought process
how it is stories in our heads with the initial i/me

my story is that they are critical
denounce me as a non reader
with out opinion

my thoughts are mine protective
not to be believed, not inflicting

my story is that they think i do not care

it probably only takes one to start it
that is enough

i feel this is a time of change
let us hope it is for good

there is a flower out back
tall and seedy that closes
at night

a bird came down into the stove yesterday again
i let it out
sooty

enjoy the day
Sonja
8.15
sunny
warm
small clouds note

some things come better with movement
you can read me else where if you wish &

if you wish i can write in this thread sometimes

if you  don’t find me horrid which you
indicate you don’t

it was good on the forum a while reading
writing and using suggestions given

it is the personal comments on my nature
that i find hard to take when they don’t know

when i feel so much about all things

it is a warm quiet morning sleep dust crumbling
into tea cups with noises from next door

i shall have a nice day at home today

making amends making patterns or proses

i never fight no more
not for myself
i will fight for others

i just walk away and leave the trolling behind

that is enough on that
that is how it is now

so anyhow this cool guys buys socks at mill
and flashes his hand over the card machine to pay

so so cool. a smart ring.

he told me some folks have the smart thing implanted, he said
you know like they do to dogs.

i thought that dogs do not really need a smart card, yet
i knew what he meant.

like when the lady phoned in to asked it she may carry her
dog in the store
& i imagined an alsation, yet
i knew what she meant.

gentle, soft, music morning.
sun on the tree bark. wild buds
below.

6.49

somewhere in wales

electric beings come clear

covered with hair spray



the process

enamel tops and ice cream, i have both

my ice cream is soft scoop yet not entrely
easy as advertised

you know that i am leaving here
and you are the last link

i left one time back ,  i was persuaded
to return

it is no good
i do not like things

yes bala is my studio too
my luxury

i could make do with  the one
at home, yet both work well
in their own ways

your day sounds grand
i hope the macaroni cheese
tasted good

i had the last of the vegetable curry and banana bread
made from the things in the veg box so far nothing
is wasted

only a peach gone rotten at full price now in the
compost

i have three bananas left to eat

give my best regards to her
and  to know i am nothing
horrid

just ramblings and rhetoric
recollections on retro furniture
tops

and the state of play
each day

so enjoy this day
each day

6.39
low battery
fine
nothing moving much
wales

it is still. there is a bird at the window.
on making tea I saw one down at the *** of nuts. posing.
i am deleting capital letters

the amish man forgot then that the book was yours
not his to burn, with all the implications the burning
brings

the awful memories

i hear they turn their backs

i have had backs turn this way
as painful as any knife stab
and the pain continues
more than the physical

i have looked at your area; like the look of it
the idea of it
as in a novel for i will never experience it.

that is for you, yet i love the stories
you bring

i was thrown sideways completely here yesterday
when warrior spoke of a friend and said

‘if she is dead’

seems it was a typo. i do not know her story
i only know i miss her terribly and in that it has
changed things

today, moving forward, i hope to travel to bala
to work
to savour the journeys back and forth
the travellers, the conversations

to work well in my way
to enjoy this day

things are real good this end
i hope the same for you

6.28am
there is no wind
moving the trees
today

your words on coffee rattle my buds while drinking tea. mine later

today brings a dryer aspect, it rained most of yesterday that light refreshing stuff

i looked at the nest and they were staying inside

the day had an odd energy & i felt strung out by evening

listened to music & watched the rain

calls came and visits are cancelled today

so later here than regular, deciding things will change

i too will have like to live more remote

i will try secluded

private

i see the full moon is coming & all will be prepared

to hide or live face on

did he burn the book due to his beliefs do you think
or simply a nasty bloke

do you know that word?

bloke

i wonder it's origins & whether it paints a picture of me
my upbringing
my culture

so we carry on
we carry on

this has been a daily thing
a pattern

all things change with time

enjoy this day
friday
7.19 am
pink light

you were supposed to remind me.

i was out of the room & i remembered

by myself.



there are particular words

names and phrasing.



in town there is an rc church down the alley

with a statue of fatima.



i heard you coming looked up and saw the dark suit

black tie. you had studs on your heels for wear.



she had higher ones, rather large. it looked

difficult to walk.                           frayed feet.



then more came like beetles. i find no energy in

black.



matt black.



on the bus.

there came a cloud of dust ahead.



slowing  the sweeper lorry

cleaning

where the road is mended.



a sign warns us, there are no road

studs



here.



i fiddle with my earrings as we overtake.



turning into llanuwchllyn.

i wonder about the big house and admire

the vegetable gardens here.



llanuwchllyn. a village a community in gwynedd.

darker here this morning
or am i awake earlier?
top of the trees are moving
while traffic drives distant

a few lorries pass by here

lately there has been a small
plane each afternoon we
run out to see

how long have you guys lived
on tug hill ?

i found a super bone when
i visited ironworks last month

just laying in the grass while
the swallows swooped low

i kept it in the kitchen to see
lately have moved it to the home
studio here

yes i make installations with
wild bits as you may know
rarely using glue or permanent
fixatives

i have used screws once and it was satisfactory
yesterday we made a working party & only just
met

we done good clearing two outbuildings
the skip was full and tidy while i found
treasures to bring home

i like the walk up over the hill
to hear the blood pounding
to know i am still alive

i liked the wood piles by the stile
there

i will send you a photograph

later i watched politics and
the man down the graveyard

i was tired then
saw a green light
felt dizzy and fell
to sleep

earlier i had read about
the four types of shame

Sonja
6.24 am
here
with weather like this

slower morning here today. the radio plays.

dove grey overcast sky. heavy they say.

maybe rain?

all cooked out yesterday. i feel sad that the veg box contents may prove to much for me and there may be waste

i will compost if necessary or leave for small creatures

nice the bike thing worked, i remember stuff regarding brothers, bikes & cables resulting in greasy hands.

upside down bikes resting on saddle and handles

when i was a kid i was fascinated by one legged men cycling , the foot clamped to the pedal somehow

i had no idea. it was after the war
i had no idea. they stopped by a lamp post to get off, holding on

i had no idea

asters are garden flowers here and i never thought of them wild
until you said

my mother liked them and i am reminded

have pushed the window wide and see the back garden gone quite pretty

by chance most of the planting came varied shades of pink and all is long and wild

birds balance on the stems
birds eat the seeds i leave

i left the water heater on all night by forgetfulness
look forward to a deep bath

then later

walk over the hill to a friend who is clearing some stuff
i have permission to look in the skip and choose if i like

i hope
your day goes will

i have a wooden box for
little wings that came away
easy

we do not worship

false idols



we tried that.



we prefer the birds.

met her yesterday in a studio space.  a possibility for me if I have to leave bala.

anyhow the point is I like her stuff and handy recipes. she makes string from nettles and now I know how.

he makes twiggy bits from briars, a tin lid with holes to deduct the thorns, and now I now how too.

emotional day yesterday.  friday club  fit in their new venue, only not physically. we used to

meet at the quarry cafe.  it has closed  so we go to celtica, light windowed with golden pillars.

made peace with cate

home to strim the grass and egg myself on with the promise of icecream

like miro, saw his stuff in barcelona in travelling days. mainly I stay in these countries, the union they call it. wales is talking of independence recently.

i am blown away by Anselm Keiffer a lot, a lot.

tea is lukewarm now, and the laptop battery is low. soap is important, i feel my mother made it so. we sniffed it on unwrapping and I was given the innner paper for drawing.

always pointed out the logo imprinted. fairy, breeze and posh days, lemon. lemon for gran at christmas. bromnley.I keep mine spares in a tin in the airing cupboard or the mice nibble.

lady on the bus told me her sister kept lots of soap and what did I think. I says she sounds like me.

we have lots of quarries here, mainly redundant or become tourist sites. zip world, bounce below, the deep mine.

deep mine, where they hung by chains to pick. where they sang at break, became the choirs.

family live at the base of the slate tip. gloddfa ganol, by llecwedd.

at mill again today. they say the prince of wales is visiting up the road soon, mallwyd. i do not care.

people swam the blue lake, a quarry hole. they left their ******* and over years the farmer’s patience failed and he blocked the tunnel entrance.

then the words came clear, and I will keep them just as they are.

i do not remember them

any of them

gone when i arrived.



mr granny pussycats was gone, she soon after.

never knew my granny wigs   and hers while

proper granny

lost hers after the cart fell on him and she became

a housekeeper of sorts.



mine left when i was four coming back to collect

the radio

i recall.



yours disappeared early and took no interest twice.



the men.

they hunt the four leafed clover, they look

at sensation

big things.



they miss those held in cages.

as children if we heard the train would kick up and run like hell through the woods to the fence to laugh and wave.

these days some folk are not trained; do not wave at all nor smile back.

here we have the festiniog railway, narrow guage chugging along the way through the woods to the sea.

sometimes they run the gravity train like they used to, but no public allowed. it looks a scary ride.

i met a friend in bala yesterday and the day was good to us. he climbed the stairs to the studio and surprised me.

we went to see hefn in the antique shop who told us memories of the village drowning for the reservoir up the road and the going of the railway line across the moor.

many lines were lost at that time, through cuts to services the government deemed useful.

the name Beeching still leaves us emotional even small boys who do not remember yet have learned of it.

small boys who excell in music and word patterning.

so i am proud of acheivments made, despite diffiulties.

your trains sound exciting, i should like to stand and inhale the noise and feel the excitement and terror in my chest.

drums do that too.

i best get on with the day. the bulb went in the safety light and i slept deeper for that.

as for the double decker. I too have written of that.

Early awake for a day at Bala. The sky comes dark along side wise texts from friends.

Regarding discrimination and lack of inclusion in this country still. Folk do not seem aware of the impact of their words.

The cat came in early and back out after food.

Yesterday I missed the dog intensely after all this time. I half expected to see her at the door.

I am watching the news slightly while I write.

How many bikes have you? I enjoy that the Amish man exclaimed at your shopping bike. I exclaim often while others judge me for that, maybe. I exclaim over planes and trains a lot.

It looks like rain. I shall only take a jacket as I go by bus, as it is a free ride now and so pleasant and complete.

I shall buy a bed sheet from the charity
for the big table at the home studio, it will feel righteous.

Such a lot of strawberries. They used to be sold here per punnet, small wooden basklets which were useful after for all sorts.

I shall look at mine later and eat a few under the sky. The wild words.

I best go to the bus now. The school bus comes first, then mine and I hope it is a double decker.

i am told my name is polish

in origin.



i repeat  that my grandma came from

another country.



we all made a family

we all support each other.



i have the records.

i have the tree.



yesterday he talked of abomination and hanging. of threats.



i turned the radio off

quite firmly.

Dull here this morning. Cooler. The graveyard is quiet; traffic moves distant.

Your saddle was a try out, now you will not be hankering after that design and may settle on what you have?

Things disappoint often. I try not to have expectations much. Is not easy after years.

Your place is your home with all that entails. Enjoy it.

The flowers never fail to delight and now I know the colour patterns. Yesterday learned the seed germination times.

Ate a few strawberries from the garden and watched the hay being bailed down the lower field.

I too gather and build from the wild
as you may know.

it is a focus on those things some overlook
a focus on time passing
while i like your verse
this cannot compare

I have a day off from the mill as I worked extra in the week. I have croissants bought ready for later. At work I mainly have a yogurt and liquorice allsorts.

Poetry man is sweet, he asks questions i never answer, We have googling.

I had hoped to sleep late, yet that never works. Have a good day. Tell me more adventures……

it was such a

pleasant afternoon.

for some time

i have written now,

words on paper,

words on screen.

to stop the dust

settling.



i shall stop soon,

and see what patterns

dust makes

in the wind

it is not how you describe it,  is just natural

how i live.



and did he mind?



hello no. it was

just a natural way to live.



here.

the other was granny wigs.



the first one was an immigrant .



i do not know if she was a refugee

we have no record and no one alive

to tell.



the rest of the family were casual residents here

going back.



i do not understand why people make a difference with folk.



i came here from england.

Here trikes are children’s 3 wheeled bikes. For me a sweet memory. I had one until it broke…

I do not know about lottery tickets though at work I am in the lottery club. Someone else deals with that.

Last year I won £8 so I bought plants.

The meadow grass here is now higher than the oxe eye daisies, and sorrel turns dark in the wayside. Birds like the seeds. I watch them,

Yesterday I sat among the yellow spike flowers and watched the butterflies and a red kite flew overhead.

I will stay mainly at home today as it is hot and there will be lots of folks about. I see I have a few brambles to cut and areas to clear. As the heat rises, I will be in the studio to paint of rain and other incidents.

I hope your new saddle proves comfortable.

Yes, I wonder about the world, whilst wondering at the world.

My friend  died, fell out of bed and died. I like her, a gentle soul, never real well.

Enjoy your day . It is hot and still. I hear the lorries on the road. Mansel Davies.

the bus conversation started about lunches

sunday lunches

yet



i work on sundays.



she said that farmers work that day, shearing

so cannot go to church.



when dead ready to be buried wool is placed

in a hand



to explain their absence in church

to a mythical being at a gate.



she said i could do that.



only no, if i was not at work, neither

would i go to church.



i watch andrew marr

we felt there were three issues

that day

to worry us.



nothing major like yours.



yet we hoped that things would sort in time.



seems they did

one way & another.



     you came, you shook & angered.
you left while things stayed the same

&

i hope for a higher gate.



2.             the sticks fell with help.

remain & look decorative.



3.              you did nothing  which usually works.



one way or another.



the grave yard grass looks beautiful while long

looks beautiful when cut.

she said old people fold notes

&

i felt insulted.



she said it bothered her a lot

when she counted them.



we should keep them flat

&

others may agree

or agree



it is nothing at all

to be worried about



when the world may be dying.

here

we

live in exaggeration, the weather is real,

as are the  mountains, feelings and foxy noses....


 bless all the foxes, their pointy ears upward.

there is a cleaness to the air, like violins in film, while

animal life kicks in.

Goldfinches are feeding on sorrel. Buzzard wanting to feed on goldfinches. All active as the graveyard grass is cut.

Yes my bike has three speed gear! I felt it was the business, as was the Pashley all country and upright. Yet I could not lift it over the locked gates and had to take the main road to work rather than the lanes. Not sure why I stopped using it, maybe when he got sick.



Drafting stopped here, my elder brother just missed it by a whisker. We called it being called up.

The gov called it National Service.

I guess you were hurt.......one way or another? What was the ship called?

Enjoy this day. I am at mill today.

Yes I was aware of the various stages I inhabited at the gathering, yet I survived and
hope I built the bridge a little further.
I am still in bed with drippings and sneezings, quite a treat for I am usually up at 6 am.

It is a beautiful morning and I am watching the feral cats from my bedroom window.

They are hunting in the new cut grass in the grave yard.

Solstice.

i was delighted with the wild flower palnting on the new
newtown by pass

and the diversion to avoid the ancient oak

the brimmon oak

Yes I will miss the group this summer and will look forward to September.

Meanwhile I have bought a tub of icecream.


Thank you for your kind words. I like your work also.

.these keys.

no one moves the keys, changes the letters. there is a writer, and a block of stamps ready. some notes work. while. others do not.

.drilled.

no boxes left. only those of a different size, quite a shock your anger that leapt from nowhere…

3. .drilled.

lift the cotton, look again. cover the place with whiteness. pink is pretty, white is clean. they do not want to see it today, a reminder of fragility.

i told you it was a level of buttercups

still is where the council have not cut.



now higher & here & there comes the



sorrel



russet

in colour with stature.



as i child i made tea with the seeds

& unable to drink for fear  changed

the idea to perfume.

seems that you are trouble, is that correct?

yes.



it seems you need to let the birds sing

& not eat them?



i was hungry.



she came here angry & shaky at what you had done.

she doesn’t get that you are wild ones & do not know

her rulings on food.



does she eat animals though?



i expect so

&

her husband catches fish

Yes we are all aging together and it is part of life. There are compensations for me: things not allowed in youth are permissable now. So i gets plenty of ice creams….

I have mailed Carol as I see I am on a big day out next Tuesday so am unable to come over for the meeting, and I am sorry.

I remembered proverbs and wrote the bit below. Please send my greetings to all and also from Rosey. Have a good summer and maybe see you in Port.

162.

we cannot always
find the pictures.

then, when we do
there is a dog standing.

i drive home along a trail of buttercups

high with yellow

bordering

& filling  roundabouts, here abouts,



i think this looks neat and tidy with my mind.



the coucil cuts it down, leaving dead bits around,

then slowly it turns brown,



maybe  that is others’ version of tidy?



( thanks to Jo for the confirmation)

( urban slang ,

neat – expression that means something is wonderful, terrific, or cool.

tidy -to describe something, someone or some situation that is good or pleasing)

foot pads the landing.
cat rubs,
the dog is tired.

dog tired.

the phone rang
i answered.
she spoke to me about proverbs i agreed that
i might
read
the book
in
the bible.
some argue,
make complications, rebuke.

electronic mailings back, forth,  fourth again.



it is their responsibility, arrangment, role, assigned post.

it is so very important, so difficult.





i phoned the other one, he just said yes.





later i found



the phone at the hotel was busy & they will not ring me back.



they say what goes round , comes round naturally.



at  some point i realised i only have the new testament

given me by a child psychiatrist.



the other testaments are in welsh.

i mostly read english.

they have an extra garden

as well as their own.



up the hill by the red house.



they



walk up with tools and summer hats

when hot.



it is a gift as they leave the lane alone

now.



where all grows wild.

punch was as pleased,

as larry was happy.

“excuse me, i should like to go on holiday in september please.”

–

“that soon?

fancy that! I shall go to the foot of our stairs”

–

” no, no, i should prefer the steppes in central asia; i like

to travel the continents”

–

” yes i am inclined to agree; it will be an uphill journey

for us both.

to learn, to grow & to rise in status



in society”

outside, the out building  

we talked of  the war, swallows overhead.  



avoided the cockerel neatly on the lawn,

admired the rhubard flowering,

a dunkirk conversation,while sun shone.



even small boys mourn  commentary

repeated, the small days of their lives.



they were brave men,

it is a good exhibition.



sbm.

said her sister in law hoarded soaps

unused without the wrappers

and what good is that?



only good for sniffing

i reply.



the lady on the bus did not understand .

why would she?



we are all different, like differing things.

some like objects on our surfaces

to abbreviate or admire

while some come minimal.



it is a memory that

we used to ring bells together

in the town church

a couple of miles from here.



at first

she did not recognise me

as look  older

as does she.





sister in law lived alone

maybe she liked the company of things



rather than the bellringer.

I should have replied before, sometimes work takes over, I am preparing an installation for the castle.

At present my office is in the garden.

I will attach a photo, do not take it badly, as we all hope soon, you will be home.

It is warm and sunny, yet the breeze blows nicely, and I can see the mountain from here.

We had a lazy walk along the lane, dusty now in this heat.   The dog  is slow. I leaned at the bridge while she caught up.

I hope you have a decent view from your window. Do not worry about replying, unless you want.

I hope you are alright today, and that things improve.