(april 2020)

..day 21..

no one interacts much with me here
& i am just fine with it that as i have
said before

i also draw & write most days sometimes
hope for a lazy day which never happens
so we carry on
&
what to do with all this stuff is a good
question

to which i have no answer

at present they piles up neatly until i
find a suitable box for storage

i like particular boxes
quite partcular i am

there is a new one
small in the middle
of the floor now

you see it reminds
me of the visit to
that house by the mill
where there is a box
to stand on to be able
to see the mountain
behind

i cannot go now
he says it is a
connection thing

she said it was odd

yet mostly folk leave me
alone here

and that is fine

today i forgot the number
and had to check again

what some folk feel is right

others consider wrong, some

write with the music

a few fail, falter

without much to live on

no one to care for them



some say this is not fair,             yet

i find that fair does not even figure



this life you gets what you gets

and feels how you choose to

after

dealing



however the dice fall

the cards come out



this may be your heaven

here on earth



if you like

if that is the way to think



really, oh really.

(april 2020)

..day 20..

i rang her yesterday
we laughed at how the years had passed

she said that her and her husband were
like two old folk with sticks to walk with

except they don’t have any sticks

james, i have had a form laying here for
weeks

the truth project and when it rained
i done it quick

handwriting and the ink was smudgy
it all came out the nib
the truth of it so
i stuffed it in the envelope quick and
sealed it

realised i cannot go to post it
so will ask the delivery man

i thought that today i will reopen it
to read through and type up carefully
for the record here
without alteration

i thinks i wrote it like the child i was
james

i saw a lamb just been born still
******, saw wrens all in the hedge

little things

later i watched an old film about cyclists
and thought of you except it was all crisp
with english accents, cotton shorts and
sandwiches

he had a bike and used to race my bus
and would be waiting at my home stop

proud of his achievement
every time
every day james

admiring your lines

(april 2020)

..day19..

i have read back over my time

find

i repeat myself





maybe it is the routine

that came

the same

most days





except the plane does

not come over and

there were three geese

this morning

not two as before





we have gotten neighbourly

leaving the errands on the

bench outside



the fire burned hot

melting the trash bag



we walk

we look

we wait

we work





i spoke to him yesterday

he is running out of coal

i am told the local council

group will help in this

situation james





he remembers the war

james





not involved really

1234

(march 2020)

..day 18..

a duller day not that it mattered

i burned the waste early. grey

blue plumes fading the morning

air

seen from afar while out daily

walking

one white van came slowly

asked if i was ok



it is my daily excercise &

you are doing a grand job

taking people bread in

full makeup so pretty

and pies



later she waved again as

i walked backwards to wave

to the farmer



we talked about pies later

the shapes with crimping

the shiny eggy tops with

liitle holes in the middles

made by pixies while cooling

on the sill



i guess by the conversation

we have relaxed into this

a little



which perhaps is incorrect

in these worrying times





who is listening

(march 2020)

..isolation diary..

..day 17..

bright clear cold today
early before folks wake i
light the incinerator

to burn the leaves
garden debris

the wild cat watches
each time i clear a patch
he finds another heap
to nestle in

so i wonder whether to leave
a place for him, the darling

for that is his given name

on my walk i noted the numbers
one hundred up the hill to pentre

ten at the gate

the sheep was 28 with two
lambs marked the same
there is multiplication
for you

i stopped to watch as the vehicle came
a tractor

i have been walking the centre of the track
no vehicles a fortnight all on lockdown

the farmer fetching bales and nodding
as he passed

i nodded back

noted the blossom
noted the crystal stones

walked home

it is suggested that we are out walking for one
hour

i should like to walk on
i turn for home james

176

still in my pjs with boots
my warm garden jacket

(march 2020)

..day 16..

yesterday came challenging
perhaps i have tired myself

taken in the news
the numbers

we are promised a letter from
the minister who is sick with it

mild he says
and will battle on

as are some of the other
of the cabinet

a letter that may take my walks away
i fear
so am glad of my garden

it is a country place with planned
wildness
neat is never the word
if i am grounded
so to speak will micro
manage
get to know all the little places

spaces

things broke yesterday, got lost
so i have a list for lookings, mendings
spaced
out

in my diary

police are stopping folk
keeping the isolation
as best they can

i saw he had gone to bed early, was real surprised
looked at the time and i went to bed too.

clocks changed today.