i'll keep your number saved
not that i didn't have it memorized already
you've got another date
afraid of angels and
maybe even fate
cause breaking hearts, i guess that's just what you hate

but how can i write this with my heart
you took a bite
spaghetti-string tank top that you ripped apart

i don't even like her
she's pretty
i don't love her
not everyone can be your lover
get overwhelmed at the grave you've dug of lust
mixed with love
and it's not that i don't love you
cause i do
i love love loved you
remember when you'd call
say "i love you"
the powerlines whispered "and i you"
the poles couldn't help but think
how it wasn't true
the sky turned blue
cried hail and our calls would fail
your signal is weak
i'll see you this weekend
what? i cant hear you
i'll see you this
way
i can play that game
walk away smothered in a different shame
this time knowing
a broken heart
a phone call apart--
and i'm the one to blame

i'll keep your number saved,
so i can keep a happy face
be a mirror
what you want to see-
it's clear
so i'll keep a happy face

i'll keep your number saved so
you can call me
don't call me
when your head hurts
when your phone beeps
don't call
me
if i ask
don't call me
if i beg
don't call me
if i leave a message at the tone,
i'm tired of playing telephone

if i hold your head in my hands
if i kiss your cheek
if i beat around the bush it's not cause i'm
weak
weaker than the weeks you spent
saying sorry
weaker than your knees when you see me
your darling
weaker than the battery that won't keep
******* starting
burst my bubble
it's been a hell of a pity party

don't call me sometime next week
you won't catch my eye next time we meet
it's a lot of upkeep
and it'll all fall down
if you call
when i'm out of town
you'll crumble
you'll mumble
california could've never been a home
don't call me
you'll only stumble back into the arms of the
dial tone.

*****

sweet sweet summertime
your body
it’s sublime
in that skin
something i could swim in
i could take a deep breath of your air
my looks could cut through your underwear
backseat so steamy
i could singe your own hair

something i could swim in
kiss your lips and
hold my breath
as i travel deep into the depths

sleep doesn’t help
only think of how
warm you felt

your skin across my skin
birds fleeing cold wind

and three ridges on your arms
i will keep you safe from harm
it’s okay i know you have things that make your blood freeze
but if your body finds itself open
i’d let you bleed all over me

blood of dinosaurs
ancient
and orange
only cause you’ve absorbed
my heart
when yours was torn

angels see nothing
in the midst of it all
one hundred eight degrees
that’s the price of 20/20 vision
but i was blind
so i couldn’t see what you upturned from the
outside
in
only feel your bones shifting in your
skin

when you close your mind
your fingers flutter
attempting meekly,
weakly,
cheaply to sink deep
temp sleep in your restless sheets

but as for me
i’ll watch carefully
in your arms or from afar
i’ll be your dreamcatcher
i’ll be your light house
i’ll be your toe fracture
let you run but not past
your guardian angel
i’ll cinch your sickle
around your fickle stature

cause that’s what friends are for
maybe we could have been more
but that’s for a future war
after all
i’m a *****
only for the suspension
ascension
contention that makes me bored

i have to *** now
i am in public transit
flip over that chair

Limes

today is your birthday
or maybe it’s mine
fifteen years ago
you dried your eyes

laid your body in brine
dissolving the teenager
from your mind
it’s time
to put away those limes

you were the first to hold me
hands still a little citrusy
now mothers womb can’t protect me
from your bathroom
shrine
my little heartbeat said
it’s time to put away those limes

every day
i was your angel
thinking of life from a different angle
hold my hand
my hair is tangled
you smell so good
don’t yell at me
i am wood
easy to break
quick to splinter
but maybe it’s time to put away those limes

i was the sun shine
of your prime time
walking the line with me
of your limelight
i would never stay quiet
always begging why
why do i have a bed time
why does the sky cry some times
why does it smell so
green it stings
out the door she sings
put away those limes

cause it was time
on your birthday or mine
to let the fire inside spry
but instead you cried
green tears
and a couple of beers

sirens shine
in the last of the limelight
and handcuffs are like an hourglass
reaching so fast
i’ll love you till the end of time
daddy’s girl
till your name can’t whine mine
out of reach at last

it’s time to put away those limes.

what do you give that girl ?
who wants to die, you don’t know why, but you love her darkened eyes ?
 
her suicidal tendencies, chapstick stained remedies,
the way a piece of hair is
stuck to her lips while you skype her after your family flips

does she feel the same,
the hardened shame,
the open blame,
but not the same, in a sense she needs more than what you’ll ever get being tame

a burning flag,
amongst a bangled banner,
i noticed over the summer your skin got a little tanner.


but maybe you never went outside,
the ocean split like your mind,
and the tidal waves washed away
your blood-stained knives


a bottle of the dial toning ,
spilt around ten bottles of melatonin,
but are you so sure
you’re fine in the house you call
your home?
but not the Massachusetts town I hate
or the night’s always late, or the number 3,6,2,7,8
, but that’s ******* great.


cursed forever
with the memory,
of a girl with no remedies.
she’ll  probably graduate
a different kind of dropout with good
intentions,
but the resentment of your ownn love was by my invention.

cry just to ease the tensions,
but never mentioned,
my adolescence.

or the absence of security, though her blankets would do fine,

another poor boy,
crossed the lines.
onto the other side,
the side of her demise,
where she traps well, in those darkened eyes.

her dark hair,
or darker thoughts,
but to the Sunday lights, never distraught,
that she’d lie just to die,
eyes not just pale.

but trapped into itself,
heart with a double step and a bad case of tangerines
i cry when i think about her lost,
but our dm’s are just across,
a doubled over body,
dry heaving into a shower drain,
and a sickly someone who’s life is in disdain.

Sorry if this is dark but it’s
just what’s on your mind,
a criminal disposition,
but you’re already in line.

For a one stop train to the other side,
where boys get lost in
those darkened eyes,
the place where pretty boys and girls go to die,
the place without face,
and a second pair of legs,
but without what lights
to bring it’s mostly a
haze, a fog, a siren’s single song, a never-ending void, but he’s  just annoyed.

That she wants to leave this life, over and over again, a never-ending cycle, until her final end. Overdosed double over, but I can’t just not send.
a simple text or call or an hour,
cause I love you doesn’t
have enough power, to express your
love for your hate,
or to change the clip in your suicide,

why is it this way, to never want to die in those darkened eyes
but you love the one who never had to ask why.