Look how they fight
Look how they search
Look how they bite
Look how they work

See how they’re just
See how they’re bold
See how they lust
See how they’re told

Always, what to do
Always what to think
Always what to love
Always what to drink.

Cry for their pain
Cry for their resistance
Cry for their strain
Cry when they listen

To all of the prophets
Who, while self-elected,
Have totally lost it
And ought to be rejected.

Forgive their mistakes
Forgive their desires
Forgive their brisk fates
Forgive their bright fires

Love them with pride
Love them with understanding
Love with no guide
Love with no planning

See how they cower
See how they soar
Hour by hour,
They always want more

Look how they fly
Look how they run
Look how they try
Look at everyone

Instead of speaking up,
I usually speak down
Unless I get excited and
I share ideas like a clown

With my arms flailing
Physically because I’m enthused
And metaphorically grasping
For someone else to not lose

More interest in me
Even though I deviate a lot
From the societal norms
That confine many in a little box

**** that little box
People talk a lot without sharing
But I’m the key to the lock
So I’m freaking out without caring

Until I turn the lights out
And my phone buzzes for Candy Crush
But there’s nobody’s messages on that list
Because I didn’t barter love

The products I offer
Are insufficient for my needs
So obviously I need some lessons
On how to calm down; smoke ****,

Don’t read books, don’t
Develop imagination
Watch tv, scroll Facebook,
Be patient and wait for your whole life

For something around the corner
Until you’re waiting and your impulses
Drive you into lonely streets
Lamenting your losses

Looking for stimulation
Constantly checking the phone
Until I stop and look around
I’m lost, I don’t know how I’ve grown

All of the words I say push people away
More nails in more coffins every day
Words out of my mouth tainted with tooth decay
Flying through the air, grinding, I ruminate

Playful commentary sans meaning
Meaning to be playful, sounding freezing
Seeing people playful, pleasing easily
Wishing perfect people could be me

Moment in the spotlight
Moment turns out not right
Hoping for an assist or a solution
Trying to be winning, feeling losing

When you walk into a little store
And spend some money on an item
If somebody gladly does this chore,
Does that mean that you should then like them?

Are their eyes a clever trap
That advertises their workplace?
Are they making you come back
By placing a smile on your face?

Can a stranger enjoy providing to
Someone who’s manipulating their skill?
For them, this kindness may not be new.
It might be their simple natural will.

Is kindness born of gratitude?
Are workers grateful to their flock?
Are jokes common and blank stares few?
Is this unique or is it not?

Am I worthy of this kindness
Or have I stolen offered grace
By acting like a normal person
And going to a normal place?

I.
Why must my selfish, lustful, counterproductive desires interfere with my capability and passion to help others?
I have abundance of selfish desires...I might even go as far as saying I am "selfish" or "self-centered".
However, my desires fall in one of two dire categories...Those that I want, but are out of my control, and those that are useless or mildly productive at best.
Video games? Relationships? Approval?...Do these make me stronger? Will I be able to help more people this way?

II.
What else is there other than assistance? Is that the most accessible form of love, is that the only selfish reason I want to help people?
Can I really internalize the fact that helping others makes at least two lives better (myself and whoever I help) and the additional fact that doing things for myself is worthless? How much do I need to relax? Why can't I help people and then help some more and sell my video games and donate my blankets?

III.
Do I owe it to myself to purify my actions and devote my life to service? Or am I an unnecessary element who should serve in a minimal way while simultaneously indulging in nothingness and desperation for love? The dangers of temptation haunt me because if I ever get what I want, it will make my life so much worse and I'll be so much more useless since my desperation will probably consume me and I'll waste my time stimulating myself behind closed doors and I won't really be helping anybody except for myself.

IV.
Take your time. Help in moderation. Let me walk in the street and please don't run me over. I feel good. I don't want what I want but I do want whatever melancholic love concoction I have brewed in my mind where ideas boil and the base liquid of selfishness is made wholesome by the distributive food coloring of love.

I see you now,
You always go.
All I ask,
Continue to grow!

Of good and bad,
I’ve much to learn.
But there’s good in you,
This I know.

The molecules around,
When you speak,
Come together,
And start to glow.

You’re wondrous words,
Always well sewn.
It’s such a gift,
Your fabric flow.

I always laugh,
You always know.
I can’t hold back,
My cover’s blown.

You try so hard,
You’ve made it known.
You’ve come so far,
It’s so well toned!

This character
You’ve fought to make
For whom you’ve had
To give and take

And at times,
You’re bent to break!
But you hang out
And make fate wait.

Powering through,
Commiting choicely.
What’s old is new
When you’re rejoicing

Of gifts of life!
You see so many,
And when you present,
They’re never ending.

What once was mild,
You revitalize
And for old subjects,
I have new eyes.

Thank you.
I always know
Everything I do
Might be the dough

That you can take
And make more pizzas
For the whole world
To love and eat some!

Never stop
Sharing your gifts,
Don’t doubt your skill.
Don’t doubt your wit.

It’s always worth
A contribution
For conversations,
You’re evolution.

It’s not all good,
But I am biased.
So despite this
Treasured alliance,

I’ll confess to you,
I think you’re perfect.
Not flawless,
But the flaws are worth it.

For when your flaws
Meet your traits,
It’s such an awesome
Wondrous way.

Of good and bad,
I don’t know much.
But continue to grow!
And always love.

Bodies of water,
Within my grip
No reason to not
Take a dip.

No full submergence,
Just the fingers.
This is learning
Without stingers.

No pain required,
No remorse needed.
Embarrassed and tired,
But not depleted.

On the road
To being needed,
What is owed
Is what I’ll feed this.

5 fingers
Testing waters
Bridging channels
Being modern