Thunder comes on the wings of wet butterflies
Telling and retelling of the journey
The caterpillars are born again
They'll say they're strong ones and lovely
Beautifully colored
But one wasn't as strong as them
Too soon from the cacoon they say
Not quite ready for this life

And he waits with worry
Until he can see them for himself
Maybe he'll be the one to finally help
Them fly

"Maybe I won't retake them,"
Comes the unheard growl.
"There's more important things to be
done than repeating my mistakes."

Tell me what to ask
What to do now
Where I should go
Or if I should stay

Tell me what I can change
What I can not
How to tell the difference
And how to let someone go

Amethyst petals lay undisturbed in the waxy moonlight.

Mice gather,
small ivory paws rustling silky petals,
coffee pelts glinting.

The comrades unite
in the hushed, swirling darkness
beneath the seasoned porch.

And after all these years I'm just a broken creature.
Their faces dance before my eyes, behind my eyelids.
When did every place become another mistake?
Now the haze is closing in on these tired tracks I make.
When did I stop caring about those that lived?
Centuries of living and all I ever learned was how to leave.
Now one is gone, one is dead and nothing is felt in this heart of lead.
A thousand years and maybe I'd have a chance.
How can I help when I'm the one I blame?
Been following pattern of fate, just another dog on a stake.
And these children I've loved and those that left,
Will be dead when I'm alive.
When did this become a lie?
This place was just a pen, another life to live and leave
And my darling,
I lied, I lied.
When I said we had a purpose, boy
I lied.

Sometimes it's just me -
Alone
Standing on the edge of the darkness
A stone wall on the edge of a precipice

I stand there beside the strip of void
and I know
I know there are trees beneath me
and lots and lost of air

And yet-
at night, the whole is black
And dark
And fathomless

And I am alone
Standing on a stone wall
Looking down
Into the void.

Nothing ever stares back

Brother, forgive me.
I'm leaving and there's no coming back.
Think you're in control until you're not.
I was feeling sad, can't help looking back.
Self hatred grows in me like cancer.

Wanderers this morning came by
It's hard letting go
I've been running
I’m wasted, losing time
Now the pale morning sings of forgotten things

It's been a long life, been a long day
Waiting for all the yesterdays to simply die away.
Here I'am waiting with nothing to do
And empty hands don't make work light
Loneliness doesn't fill up right.

A hundred and three years she's been alive
No more breath to be taken and mesuared now
I'll remember the visits, jelly beans and nail polish
Not quite comfortable in that place,
The hospital's never been a pleasent place for me.

Now the struggle's over and I wasn't there.
Coward perhaps but now, all I can do is wait.
Wait till the aftershock stands still and everyone is home again.
Be there and try to understand losing
Someone close, distant at the same time.

I hope there's a better place, full of sunshine
No geckos and nothing goes to waste.
Hope you found the peace and the faces you needed
Great Grandma Sophie
Please rest in peace.

We were warm in that sunlight
Love ran thick in succulent leaves
Unfolding when the day would fade

Moving in the sunlight as the shadows chased
Dusty gray green happiness
Even keeled gentle curves of feeling
Rosy blush edging our forevers
Blunted points of conversations

We can last long on the waters we keep
Though we separate as time goes by
Conjoined in a cluster at the base of our relationship

Our love is like the succulents
Long lasting,
Long lived

One day someone stands where I stood now
Black ink spilled through those paper edges
There's a reason only a snake could **** it
Life in these pages,
some without names and some without faces
Days spent and these lyrics bleed
So seethrough the shadows come through
Every inch of me in something no one reads
Nothing to understand

We are the dried out things,
The little deaths and brittle leaves.
We are the grey of bleached out bones,
The glare of the sunlight in the cold.
We are the fallen things,
The shattered hopes and bitter dreams.
We are the feathers of broken wings,
The dust of a summer's eve.

I'll miss you.
Two halves weren't meant to part,
but I must wait here until time heals
over all our old wounds.

I need you.
But maybe I've been thinking,
you might not need me
as much as I do you.

I think the world's not the same.
Please come home safe,
or at least just be safe.
I love you but how can I say it?

Not everyone can be saved it seems.

One more’s gone and many more have followed, perhaps a return will come in time.

Perhaps not.

Sometimes time won’t heal wounds.

If I could be braver…stronger in the face of eddies and tides perhaps this would end different.

But I’ve always been a coward.

Too high and mighty to let this place get under my skin.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t care.

I do.

A lot.

I just don’t say it, won’t say it for everyone to hear.

I’m sorry it had to end this way.

I don't want it
Where the hell have you gone?
This is freedom, no one at all to care for
No one to care for you
Loneliness

I don't want freedom
Not if you'll be gone
The ground would be better
With you not here

I don't want this freedom
*Come back to me

I have a longing
For old friends
For old places
For old conversations

I had a longing for new faces
New places
New found friends
New words
New days
New life

I realized
That new pain only builds the old
New friends shall be lost
Conversations go bad
Every place becomes the same
Love doesn't come twice

In old thoughts
I know myself
In old conversations
I know what needs to be said
In old places
I know my way around
Old friends are dead and gone

Old thoughts
Old words
Old spirit

I am no longer new

Warning, warning...
It starts like a whisper -
Dry leaves stirring in the breeze
A voice of salt and sand,
Dry as desert dust
Full of fear
Heavy with foreboding

Warning, warning...
It stirs - swirls - builds
A slow wail of dying children,
Of storms sweeping
Foundations creaking, crumbling in the wind
A fate most ill

Warning, warning...
Your birth was a birth watched by crows
Omen-seekers staring with blind eyes
A night most foul
We can not separate ourselves
From the fate we were born with
These sirens swell and wail

And finally one of you is coming home,
taking the steps to get back the world you love.
The world you left,
it'll be a struggle but the end justifys the means.

Will they remember you?

I wonder what my purpose is sometimes,
the things I used to do no longer
bring the same amount of enjoyment.
Perhaps there is no reason I am here at all.
Who knows?

Keep me down
And keep me sane
Say I'll never rise again
I keep coming like the tide
Like the embers
I rise and rise

You've all found it haven't you?
Out there.
Where ever you go when those eyes close?

And I toil in the mud and soil
Nothing but murky water
Over here…
Alone.

You've all found it haven't you?
Out there.
Where you go when those eyes close?

Sometimes you get tired
Staring at the world with eyes open wide
The more you see….
Alone.

You've all found it haven't you?
Out there.
Where ever you go when those eyes close?

Can you tell me?
How to get there?
Where ever you go?
Cause one day those eyes
won't open again.
Gone for good,
Alone.

You've all found it.
Out there.
Alone.

You’ll become what I remember
Remember, Remember, Remember
You’ll become what I knew
Knew, Knew, Knew, Knew
You’ll become what I ran from
Ran, Ran, Ran
You’ll become a nightmare
Nightmare, Nightmare, Nightmare

You remind me of what I remember
I remember, I remember, I remember
Remind me of what I knew
What I knew, What I knew, What I knew
Remind me of what will become
Will become, Will become, Will become
Remind me patterns repeat themselves
Repeating patterns, Repeating patterns

You don’t know what I fear
But you scare me now

She's always been a shifer
A faceless creature lurking behind the scenes
A thousand guises to pain over the
Grey canvas of colors adorning

In the web she's spun, she's no spider
Only a dancer on the strings she's strung
Oh many know her where the forest dwells
Though no one sees her

A flick of a hand brings new features
She speaks through many throats and tounges
There's many hands that claim to match
But only one fingerprint remains

Who's to really know the looker?
Not the characters she plays nor those who think they're closer
A secert not worth knowing but always kept
A deviation that's all she is

Such bitter sorrows,
Love unrequited, left ignored
Festers like an open sore
Pond's frozen over but the ice is thin
How quick it could be broken
How fast that we could sink

The sun has set, the curtains drawn
Bloodstains left in pure white snow
Our love has left us
Like lungs full of flowers,
It's getting hard to breathe
Hard to think
Just let me sink

The palest pink,
Delicate veins and perfect tracery
Lacework of life
Cold though they become
This love will haunt us still
We are two winter birds

There was something silent, shifting, swelling
growing in the cavern of the stairs
Something hidden in the bones of that old house
A flicker, a start, light shining off of eyes
In that old house.

School happened and now summer is gone.
Draining away the sunlight and sending shadows to take us into the houses, backs bent over paper starts and signatures.
Farewell to freedom.
I'll send one last goodbye to the races.
One more year and future will be mine to chart.

I wander in the sunspots
On the bank of the river
Visit the place where I felt sure
The green one sat last night

Wanted to go to her then
Forest had other plans then
So I learned solitude
Separated it from loneliness
Uncrowded all alone

Clear your head some for going home

Her heart pounds, a thunder in he veins
Pulsing bright and red and deep within
Courage took farflung flight long ago
Before the journey was to be made

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

There was silence before this, quiet as a grave
And the streets were filled with happy feet
It slept alone then, on all it found to keep
No overlap or closeness to be feared.

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

And then life wasn't what she'd been promised
He threated a hell on earth should she think even of what she knew
Blows came when the words stopped coming
Maybe there wasn't anything in the big white clouds up there

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

So she left alone, running away from it all
Nowhere to go and none to care what happened out there
Feet chased a path along a clif's side
Found another path hidden inside

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

Came upon the sleeping one
Belly deep in shining rings, golden plates, precious stones
All of the leavings of those that had gone before
It earned them all fairly

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

Surely they wouldn't notice just one cup?
One cup for freedom, one cup for a new life
One for the time she spent running from no escape
So she took it and fled

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

A stirring spread thourgh that scaly pile
Orange orbs snapping open, knowing something was gone
That cup the mother'd drank from at the king's court
When magic was still thick and the world thought less of monsters

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

Wings unfirled and death came that night on quiet wings
Fire broke the night, people died, fleeing anyway they could
Those earth riches where all that's left
Before men came and took what they thought they owned

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

Day rose to a ruined place
Choacked grey black, shifting with winds
Villages left that day for the reasons where not known
But she knew and it did as well

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

Journey came with baited breath
She knew it would come again with hot breath and burning eyes
Maybe there would be nothing left again
Death would come again

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

Head raises, hissing scales of ash, long strong neck
Those eyes shine brighter now
Tips of wings touch staggered points of topside
Ready to reclaim a life

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

Quick and slow she bends, quicker hands holding out
Uncurling fingers flex apart and the cup is placed
Once more in its rightful place
Them or her, chosen to make right

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

Thin wings settle again to the strong sides
Ribs show their ridges against the jeweled belly
What's this human who would give back what it took?
Dangerous points part in black stone gums

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

You'd give thisss for them and what you ssstole?
Hissing air breath, a volcano's hiss
Wide eyes and hesitant hands reply
"Many more here that you don't deserve but they don't either."

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

Slow shifting seething motion
Tail like rope unwinding from the center
Weak legs bend and don't break
Eggshells lay safe in the last grey curl

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

Small bones, little skull and empty eyes
Young mother happy once then
Men broke the home with sharp points
Young mother no longer

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

She sees broken bones, human heads burned
Nothing could bring the hatchling back, piece the pierced back
It had stayed to die in silence no reason left
No food to be found, no water to drink

Feet crushed the ashes spilled
When they fell in a spiral across the village
They left the buildings empty since
Fire takes all

The girl leaves and goes
A secret to keep for the old mother
Until the body lies forgotten and the earth takes back
No one to touch the shining seas

Over and over again
A refrain, a refrain
Still we are again
Here once more
Here once more with locked doors
And lights turned down
Pen stained knuckles
And too white paper
Fifteen hours, not enough rest
Wake up at 6am and go to bed at 12am
Here we go again
Here we go my friend
Another year

The dead they speak to me,
In dreams full of burning things.
Voices of ash and spark
Glowing in the dark night
Like embers, like fireflies.
Pushing against the midnight sky

I am the future, I am the dream -
I tell men of impossible things,
The future glimpsed but not truly seen.
I am the changes not yet wrought
But sure to come to pass
I know what the unconscious mind knows

My body is built of stars and spark
The night sky stretched taunt across celestial bones
I am an island, for I am no man -
Like a quail into the sea I am
Crocodile's tears have fallen from these eyes
And my tears are burning hot
The making of stars

It's a different face but -
Your smile still holds
The same crooked shape.
Jagged teeth in a wicked grin
Bold lines of shadow
Belly barred in warning

I wonder what the sunset says -
With ****** teeth and shining eyes
A prophet speaker that no truth brings
You whisper of impossible things
Like the ghosts that haunt us still

Beneath the slow drifting sands,
Creatures lurk, creatures spin
Beware those on moonlight nights
With crooked grins
And red stained hands
Ask them not for directions

Hug tight to knees
Arms doubled up
Hands clasped
Around legs

Another question
Never asked
We are what we are
Don't need excuses

Good morning world eater, nothing's changed in the night
Your warm and light, oh, it's just another desguise
Leaf bringer of thin veined green plant life
Mother of the daytime skies
Dancing warmth on thick skins of all kinds
Now your secret is known
Belly of coal, endless inferno
A flicker destroys lives
Take everything with you in the end
I despise you

Stuck between a rock and a hard place
Charybdis and Scylla
Powerful, sweeping
Ever fighting for control
A safe path to travel,
Wishing for calm seas and good wind

Between the devil and the deep blue sea
But albatrosses fall,
Hung around wretched necks
Seas gone sour, wind gone still
Anchor no ship can shake
There are omens best left unseen
So many impossible things

Between the hammer and the anvil
A constant pounding into shape
Icarus falling with melting wings,
Sisyphus and his boulder - always going up hill
Prometheus and his eagles
Like a dog on a stake,
We can't escape our fates

"You'll leave. Everyone does."

Four words spoken from the heart
Weary little one, the truth is often heavy is it not?
You're so earnest dear, how many have you seen go?
Close my eyes, bow my head
The truth is hard to blind

"Yes. I've always been a leaver....why stay went no one else does?"

I look at her, eyes narrowed
Something as big as her, scared?
You can go, leave anytime you want
Seek what you must
I remain here.
No matter what.

"Of course you'll go! No one cares about Ird!"

Oh little creature....don't you know?
If you love it let it go
This world will forget me, drag me down and **** me
I'll fade from your memory too
I can never stay.

"I do. I-I can't stay, I'll be here until the end of time."

The butterflies pulse and beat, colors glint and change again
Purple, red, pale slight green, all shades
Swirl from the ground to proclaim the birth
Creatures from a dream, they'll tell him
Of the shedding of cocoons and the growing of life

Far away someone stands alone
Head up, whole body stretching towards, yearning towards far away
Sockets wide for butterfly wings
Wishing nothing more than to be there, keep them safe
But hooves are made of concrete or so it seems
Rooted still to the place it sleeps

She'll be having them now, holding them tight
Seeing them breathe their first breath of life
Whoever the father was will be there too
So many others must be gathered near, watching, waiting
The world's brighter now

Throat closes up as he stands alone
Maybe they'll grow with him unknown
Tears start as blood slows down, tear tracks grow
Questions start to swirl in the distance between
What if? What if? They won't like him, he's sure of this
Head lowers down, time has a way of breaking things

Hope dims like a candle flame
He doesn't even know if she still lives
Some day everything's leaving, everyone's going
He's stuck looking back at the path he's walked
Maybe he'll be gone when they finally come

And suddenly he knows
The whole of his worth comes back nothing
Blood mixes with the stream, sadness and joy
Filling up the space inside, he'll be alone for along time
Longer still

Maybe their lights were never mine
He whispers to the water
Crushed again by what they made him
Whatever the cost, he'll be there at her side
If she still wishes him to be

Old lace and dried flower petals
***** pastels, no longer new
An aged softness
Like a long used blanket -
Worn and familiar

The shade of a fern,
Against the cream of a mushroom
Deep within an ancient forest
Silk flowers on a window sill -
Fading in the sun

Pale pink of a tiny rose
Delicate as sprigs of baby's breath
The smell of mint and sage
And the patina of an age

A simple shape to hold the world.
As hard to hold as light and warmth,
The life that lives inside a shell so brittle.

Crack it open and steal its worth.
Take the gold that held the sun's light
Scatter the pieces of sky
Crush the life that lived inside

An ant has no quarrel with a boot it seems
And dreams weren't meant for life with out wings
So clip the feathers before they form
Take the bird and don't let it grow

This world is a terrible place
Yes, this world is a terrible face.
Better to die than grow in times gone lean
What difference does one sphere make?

I exist.
You repeat it ten times a day
I exist.
Whisper it to your self
On rainy days and quiet nights.
I exist.
You say as you scroll through another's life
I am here. I exist.
A quiet affirmation.
Sometimes it works.
Sometimes it doesn't.
I exist.
It is enough.

There are dark things here
That fear the kiss of Iron
The feel of steel
It is not shade, no
Nor is it dragon born
There are darker things indeed

Leave the milk out on
The back porch
Give no thanks to those
Who offer favors
Once patterns are made
You must keep to them
Or **** the consequences

There is a pale white horse
Standing by the waters
Do not touch it or ride it
There is a hare that stares
Too long into your eyes
This is not a fight
You can win

I'm stuck in this strange place of trying to change and not being able to. Floating inbetween days and things, not good enough to break free.

Been a long time like a faulty keyboard,
Certain keys stuck and some don't move at all.
Danced all night in high heeled shoes,
Comfortable on my feet.
Nice dress, another landmark.
Semi Formal wear and all.
This year a senior and next year I'll be gone.
Where will I go?

I have no words to say to this world now
So much to get down and not enough to say
It wasn't always this way

It's the first week, what could go wrong?
Stress cameback the first time
Late at night trying to find the words
AP English is crucial to me

Granma's up late and I can't let her sleep
Gotta go to the end or I'll just fall
A+ or F you decide

But honestly?
**** this