Talk in quick bursts, fast paced laughter
Always the happy shell or the quiet other
Frantic words centered so on happiness
Bitter remarks hiden by cheerful facade
You thought you knew but I degress
Really quite a nervous thing
with hopes and sometimes dreams

She's always been a shifer
A faceless creature lurking behind the scenes
A thousand guises to pain over the
Grey canvas of colors adorning

In the web she's spun, she's no spider
Only a dancer on the strings she's strung
Oh many know her where the forest dwells
Though no one sees her

A flick of a hand brings new features
She speaks through many throats and tounges
There's many hands that claim to match
But only one fingerprint remains

Who's to really know the looker?
Not the characters she plays nor those who think they're closer
A secert not worth knowing but always kept
A deviation that's all she is

I'm one of the new ones here I'll admit
You probably can't even keep us all straight in your head
A tide of new faces, day in and day out
Some linger for awhile
A few stay and many leave
Some find themselves sinking down into the dark
Of unseen places
And I have always been comfortable in the faded places
One thing I know, for certain now
You can't a few rotten apples
Put out the candles of the rest out
After all, don't you see?
Cider tastes better with a little rot mixed in
Love the sweet but treasure the bitter
Love and be loved
Know that you are wanted unless told otherwise
But even then hold a tablespoon of salt
I'm a background keeper,
Been here two years and I'll be here longer

There was something silent, shifting, swelling
growing in the cavern of the stairs
Something hidden in the bones of that old house
A flicker, a start, light shining off of eyes
In that old house.

I think we might be lost.
Sparks that never made it back into the flame.
I think we might be lost.
The fish that left it's school behind.
I think we might be lost.
The minotaur within its walls.
I think we might be lost.
A humming bird in artic places.
I think we might be lost.
The ugly duckling in its set of swans.
I think we might be lost.
A parasite without its host.

              We are lost.

You've all found it haven't you?
Out there.
Where ever you go when those eyes close?

And I toil in the mud and soil
Nothing but murky water
Over here…
Alone.

You've all found it haven't you?
Out there.
Where you go when those eyes close?

Sometimes you get tired
Staring at the world with eyes open wide
The more you see….
Alone.

You've all found it haven't you?
Out there.
Where ever you go when those eyes close?

Can you tell me?
How to get there?
Where ever you go?
Cause one day those eyes
won't open again.
Gone for good,
Alone.

You've all found it.
Out there.
Alone.

Teeth click with a snap, fangs bared in another threat.
Fur up, hackles raised.
She's growling at ghosts now, mountain song and cracking boulders.
Hisses slice the silence up, sharped knife against paper thin.
Those eyes are wide, ruby death staring into the abyss.
Pupils so wide they hide the red, now they're sinking into slits.
That red glows, that red speaks deep.
The things that she's seen. The things that she's seen.
Lips pulled back, ears battened down.
Shoulders hunched, head lowered.
Lethal crown ready as the flowers fall one by one.
She is a monster.
She is a god.
And what are Gods if not monsters?
Those black hooves strike the ground, one single drumbeat.
Death dealers.
Scars bristle under shining fur.
Nightmare no longer monochrome.
Those teeth snap again, sharp click.
Angry sound.
Bitter beast.
Lost potential.
Lost past.
Lost soul.
She is the remainder.
The One That Endures.
The One Who Stands Still.
Remember who she once was.
She is the devourer.
She is the creator.
The waning light and the shock of lighting.
Remember what she is now.
Outsider.
Shell.
Imperfect space.
Mother.
Wanderer.
The Lost One.
The Broken Thing.
She breaks, she mends.
Trys to get better then slips again.
You can't escape the red.
Can't leave the dead.
She sees all their skeletons.
Their blood is on her hands.
In her heart.
Their voices sound in her head.
Screaming their damnation.
Screaming their pleas.
She is a nobody
And you just made a mistake

I have a longing
For old friends
For old places
For old conversations

I had a longing for new faces
New places
New found friends
New words
New days
New life

I realized
That new pain only builds the old
New friends shall be lost
Conversations go bad
Every place becomes the same
Love doesn't come twice

In old thoughts
I know myself
In old conversations
I know what needs to be said
In old places
I know my way around
Old friends are dead and gone

Old thoughts
Old words
Old spirit

I am no longer new

It's the first week, what could go wrong?
Stress cameback the first time
Late at night trying to find the words
AP English is crucial to me

Granma's up late and I can't let her sleep
Gotta go to the end or I'll just fall
A+ or F you decide

But honestly?
**** this

One day someone stands where I stood now
Black ink spilled through those paper edges
There's a reason only a snake could **** it
Life in these pages,
some without names and some without faces
Days spent and these lyrics bleed
So seethrough the shadows come through
Every inch of me in something no one reads
Nothing to understand

In the tide of time I was nothing,
The sun forgot that I knew a time when it did not shine.
Witnessed the birth of stars and galaxys
But all this time hasn't ment a thing.
Growing old and grown up long ago,
Decided never to find a home.
Faces and places are nothing,
Life is just an illusion.
Been losing and losing.
Some day I'll know if this was worth choosing.

Silence lingers here,
Between the branches and sunlight.
Peace will always be.

How did they come here?
The bright orbs of molten gold
Resting on our crowns.

We will figure out
Through the growth of deer abound
The secret of life.

Poem without words, phrases
So many quiet with thoughts and silence
Not a satisfactory thing
But necessary all the same
Everyone's got weights to hold them down

We are the dried out things,
The little deaths and brittle leaves.
We are the grey of bleached out bones,
The glare of the sunlight in the cold.
We are the fallen things,
The shattered hopes and bitter dreams.
We are the feathers of broken wings,
The dust of a summer's eve.

I wander in the sunspots
On the bank of the river
Visit the place where I felt sure
The green one sat last night

Wanted to go to her then
Forest had other plans then
So I learned solitude
Separated it from loneliness
Uncrowded all alone

Clear your head some for going home

Once more I erase, white rubber against smudged paper
My mistakes stood no chance in this world
Learned the correct answers but not how to find them
Only Evens and I won't know the score until the grades are up
Just page after page of my faliure
Of my effort and time
Constantly trying to do my best
It's funny how little space the right way takes
Reuseing my mistakes
Fixing what I can

Hug tight to knees
Arms doubled up
Hands clasped
Around legs

Another question
Never asked
We are what we are
Don't need excuses

And finally one of you is coming home,
taking the steps to get back the world you love.
The world you left,
it'll be a struggle but the end justifys the means.

Will they remember you?

Disointed words - rickety-
Fingers wrapped - around yellow
Start - stop rythem of thoghts
How tears - fall - like a leaky faucet

A shrug is all she gives to them
A simple I'm alright, just tired to ease them
The questions stopped coming then
All she has is what she knows about the world around her
This tiredness won't go until
She finds a better cage for herself
And so she says It's alright, I'm good
To find her way

Not everyone can be saved it seems.

One more’s gone and many more have followed, perhaps a return will come in time.

Perhaps not.

Sometimes time won’t heal wounds.

If I could be braver…stronger in the face of eddies and tides perhaps this would end different.

But I’ve always been a coward.

Too high and mighty to let this place get under my skin.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t care.

I do.

A lot.

I just don’t say it, won’t say it for everyone to hear.

I’m sorry it had to end this way.

The ***** in your chest
That makes blood flow around your body
Feelings and emotions
Considered as part of your character
The central part of something,
That is farthest from the outside
A shape that represents love

Buzzing, pulsing, rending, tearing
Fill the air with screams unending
Stingers strong and wings of paper
Fill us, fill you
Hell on noisy wings

Death spills from open lips
Twist around the syllables
Queens that won’t grow old

Lock your windows, close your doors
Doesn’t really matter anymore
Every crack is a doorway
Screaming won’t save you

Oh haven’t you heard?
Haven’t you learned?
I’m the man with wasps in his belly

I can do this
The mantra I repeat at the end of the day
I. Can. Do. This.
One more day to make it, I've already faked enough
Week's been blind and I'm falling behind
Work piled up, do or die time now
One day of reckoning to end this
Tie it up in a pretty bow and I still
Don't need to take it
I can do this, I will do this
At least for today's tomorrow

You were something once weren't you darling?
Something open and bright

Now your closed up and dark inside
Hollow like a bottle chocked with dust

It was an invisible, succulent, ruined, straining shiny treasure
That baited the lightening to drink the greener nest
Choking on unsaid reason, guts hang thrown anytime between
The swollen scare and the flawed complete, contained harm cluster.
So the socket's apples wanted the skull's promised forest
And fled the base dusty pastures.

Just another day of going through the motions
Pushed, got pushed, pushed back
Bright skies, bright eyes
Good days
Tommorows come again

I was something now I'm not
Hold on to your heart
Touch and tame or rip apart

Bring up the past
It's time to dredge up
the water under that bridge
And we'll burn that bridge when we come to it

I'm not yours
To touch or tame
I'll take out your heart and paint
these walls with red words

I'm something I'm not
Shift too fast to hold
Words are papercuts to the mind
We'll play this game again

Well boy,
don't you dare follow that light

The butterflies pulse and beat, colors glint and change again
Purple, red, pale slight green, all shades
Swirl from the ground to proclaim the birth
Creatures from a dream, they'll tell him
Of the shedding of cocoons and the growing of life

Far away someone stands alone
Head up, whole body stretching towards, yearning towards far away
Sockets wide for butterfly wings
Wishing nothing more than to be there, keep them safe
But hooves are made of concrete or so it seems
Rooted still to the place it sleeps

She'll be having them now, holding them tight
Seeing them breathe their first breath of life
Whoever the father was will be there too
So many others must be gathered near, watching, waiting
The world's brighter now

Throat closes up as he stands alone
Maybe they'll grow with him unknown
Tears start as blood slows down, tear tracks grow
Questions start to swirl in the distance between
What if? What if? They won't like him, he's sure of this
Head lowers down, time has a way of breaking things

Hope dims like a candle flame
He doesn't even know if she still lives
Some day everything's leaving, everyone's going
He's stuck looking back at the path he's walked
Maybe he'll be gone when they finally come

And suddenly he knows
The whole of his worth comes back nothing
Blood mixes with the stream, sadness and joy
Filling up the space inside, he'll be alone for along time
Longer still

Maybe their lights were never mine
He whispers to the water
Crushed again by what they made him
Whatever the cost, he'll be there at her side
If she still wishes him to be

It's cold and I've been feeling like you've been calling out my name.

If I could notice you, would you notice me?
Fall apart not fall together, what difference is it?
I’ll take a picture and watch it fade away
Set fire to the bed that we made together
Together, do you remember?

Tear drops don’t stop oceans
Winds don’t shift the tide
A single grain of rice won’t fill up my hand
We’ve been around see?

This meat will rot away
Bubbles will pop one day
Flowers I’ll get to watch shrivel
People I’ll watch die

I am free
But I am not

And it's a Sunday
Day of rest
But oh, there'll be no rest for me yet
No, not yet

You look up with a tired face
Mouth tainted with the taste of bitter better days
Unused sleep hangs around your eyes
Testament to the miles between us
We followed our own faiths to the other line

Still alone after all this time, isn't it a lonely life?
I've got others but you've got none
Shoulders to lean on and people to love
All those hours keep awake, what worth are they?
I guess life never showed you it could be the same
Just line after line of change

Over mountains gold to silver seas, broken rooftops and the tops of trees
Far flung reaches, enternal to time and starry places
Muffled beats, padded feet, strong stone
Journey in a step, travel in a breath of nothing
War on two sides, head and heart, mind to mind
Close is the dirt and far is the sky
Witch do you touch and wich do you hide?
One day soon you will die.

Here comes the start
Words bottlenecking against folds of the brain
Paper remains unstained
Blank sheet, swirling mind

There'll be more of this to come

Good morning world eater, nothing's changed in the night
Your warm and light, oh, it's just another desguise
Leaf bringer of thin veined green plant life
Mother of the daytime skies
Dancing warmth on thick skins of all kinds
Now your secret is known
Belly of coal, endless inferno
A flicker destroys lives
Take everything with you in the end
I despise you

And after all these years I'm just a broken creature.
Their faces dance before my eyes, behind my eyelids.
When did every place become another mistake?
Now the haze is closing in on these tired tracks I make.
When did I stop caring about those that lived?
Centuries of living and all I ever learned was how to leave.
Now one is gone, one is dead and nothing is felt in this heart of lead.
A thousand years and maybe I'd have a chance.
How can I help when I'm the one I blame?
Been following pattern of fate, just another dog on a stake.
And these children I've loved and those that left,
Will be dead when I'm alive.
When did this become a lie?
This place was just a pen, another life to live and leave
And my darling,
I lied, I lied.
When I said we had a purpose, boy
I lied.

Can you feel it-
The humming starts from deep within the pain
Tickles ear drums and fills you up into nothing

It's....It's coming from the-
The noise pulls forth from the shadows
Fills your mind with layers of longing

The bog is singing
Envelop the senses with light,
Comfort creeps through the strands of sound

It's so....beautiful
She steps out covered in liquid sun
Inhale, exhale, forward she comes

Everything I need....she's everything...
A smile graces the lovely face and she's reaching
Reaching out for you to follow.

Anywhere...I'll go anywhere..
A glowing hand strokes your face
She's beauty and grace

I'll follow you
Her hands wrap around your throat
And she pulls you down, down bellow

Only fools look before they leap, only fools want what they can not keep*

And in the bog you drown
No light to guide the way back home
No one will know why your tracks did end here

She rolls her lip beneath her teeth
Another scab to add to the dusty corners
But it doesn't matter and it never did

Till the stream runs dry and the dirt cracks
Paper thin skin will have its seams
She's a camel without a desert

The red mouth's been pricked and poked
Never wet enough for the thirst to stop
Born without water though her breath forms vapours

And so the tide of change creeps in
As we try to hide our shallow hearts
And Graveyard minds

But the roads have changed since then,
Lightening don't strike twice son.
Just keep looking towards sun.
That way you'll be blind to what comes.