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I love the way you look in the moonlight that filters in through the window
(I love the simple fact that you are here with me in the moonlight)

Your hair smells amazing
(I inhale you every chance I get in every state you are in and hold it in my lungs because I want it to intoxicate me)

Your hair looks fantastic
(it floats downward from the top of your brilliant mind and cascades like your thoughts, pours like your words in our half-drunk midnight conversations)

Your smile is so pretty
(when you smile at me it lights me up and makes me feel, if even for an instant in this time of my life that is so shambled and broken, whole)

Can I have a hug?
(hold me, embrace me, envelope me, if only to let me know you are real)

Let’s go to bed
(where I can confuse physical love with emotional, take refuge in confirming our relationship with *** because it’s easier than risking my whole trust, easier than leaving myself bare before you with the certainty that one day, eventually, you will tear my heart out and crush it)

No, that’s ridiculous. Why would you say that?
(I’m terrified that you know me so well)

I don’t think I can make it tonight
(I’m terrified that you know me so well)

Can’t we talk?
(I get it, you backed away because I did but I’m going to blame you because I can’t blame myself, don’t you see? Can’t you see how utterly self-absorbed I am but also woefully lacking self-confidence? I refuse to share any of this with you, I can’t let you know it but if you saw it I’d acknowledge it, at least I think I will, and you know me so well so why can’t you see it)

I don’t think we should see each other anymore
(please, please, please make me realize how utterly foolish I am. Please slap me and scream at me)

Say something
(your total lack of reaction destroys me more than anything)

You look really pretty
(so beautiful, majestic, magnificent and I love you. I love the tears I have made you cry so silently and I hate myself so much for this moment because of that. I love you and only now as you walk away do I realize it)

Fine. Go.
(the ease with which you leave is painful and will linger for years)


(Please stop walking, please. I was wrong. Please.)
The alabaster beauty
Covered in dark ink
Around the white sky
Two beautiful brown spheres
Decorated with two streams
Of a blushed river
That spoke about life, knowledge, and the unknown
Curiosity for adventure
The path of duality
    Of a reality
That seems to bring peace to the mind,
But an ocean of emotions
Hard to find clarity within the heart
It’s that graceful stare
The has me falsely asleep
From the lovely music of the harp
To every pain that felt so sharp
My days were discarded
Every creature passed by me
I refused to give attention
Because I was taken
Into another word that lingered me to stay longer
As I was inebriated by blue drinks
And that gorgeous smell of hypnotic fragrances
That heavily seduced me for my loyalty
And my devotion to make sure you felt like royalty
It was worth every
Born child that rose
Young from the early sky
And died an old man to say goodbye
From the ashes
To return as another child to repeat the cycle  
Watched from the heavens
By the arch angel Michael  
  At first sight
Your grimly desire for destruction
Worried me, but somehow interest me
It was during a time of transitioning
That I needed another soul to not feel alone
I guess you can say certain things come in certain disguises
Never misinterpret a gift from divine
Always ask wisely
Always be kind and never take things for granted
Truly a gift
Of love and pain
Truly a privilege to have known and cared for
Truly worth feeling pain
With someone worth being lost in the rain of the final days of life
This crimson stone is rooted from the dirt of a sorrow mind
That needs to be free
To enjoy passion with one who is not a soul
To have hand by hand
To feel love and pain again
To serenade during the lovely full moon
To be side by side during the hour of the sun
I wish things could have gone differently
Actually have a night with you
To explore the cosmos of our mind
And find the true Eden that lies through our eyes
Life feels like a decaying painting
That’s slowly fading away every century
Waiting to be discovered again
To have color and meaning again
You were truly the first, but never the last
To my final words of this chapter,
Blossom for love be a day
As the passion sails away
Thus a story of forbidden love
Exotic colors turned gray…
Beloved, truly a life gift
Sadly, our eyes will soon shift
What was it that drawn us together?
Was it the dreams?
Truly had me floating away like feathers
The portrait that played the lovely cello
Across the forest
Mislead for a land that is sorrow
I will love you again
In a different land of dreams
To have you day & night
Until I die tomorrow
For now, I must forget your name…
It will never be the same
I hope you reads this one day. I wonder if you're thinking of me during the night as I think of you

— The End —