When i was younger i was sweet and so shy
Igrew older moved around now living a messed up life
I sit back with a heart as cold as snow
I bet id you looked in my eyes you still wont know
See at home it is Hard for me
All night i got to hear Chris get that and do this please
But your pleases are not pleasurable from what i see
At age fifthteen and i already want to leave
Im supposed to love to be home with my family
Instead I'd rather leave cant u see
got to hear my dad call my moms a *****
But when i was younger it was a struggle ***** u didn't do ****
I try to leave the situation alone and my mind still goes
And on this paper as you read it's my heart that flows
Go to school for what my family don't give a ****
So ill drop out leave your **** and do what i can
I had dreams of finishing school and going to college
I am smart a heart of love and brain full of knowledge
When i start to do something good something brings me down
Can u imagine how many times i have seen the ground
I feel like I'm too young to go through so much stress
A child shouldn't be introduced to so much mess
So i ask who will free the little kid in me
Who only wants to do the right thing and just be free
Again i ask who will free the Lil kid in me
Who will listen to my problems and let me breath
Who will bring me happiness and love i can see
someone please tell me who will free the kid in me

They say no one is perfect but is that really true
Because You see all i hear is perfection in you
You are a fantasy that i have thought of for years
A happiness i never thought would be there
When you speak it is as if you waited all your life to tell me
And when i talk to you i can finally breath
They say no one is perfect but i need to emphasize
You are perfectly detailed in my eyes
if you had a flaw in my eyes you are still nothing less than perfection
As you began to take my heart to another dimension
You make me believe in what i have thought died
Is as if our meeting was just divine
As if god was waiting for the perfect time
To bring his perfect angel to be mine
You make me smile with every minute
And laughter fills me every other sentence
Am i good enough for you would be my question
But to be your all is my only mission
They say no one is perfect but they need to do some research
Because i honestly dont ever see me getting hurt
At least not with you but i don't want to speak to fast
It is as if you are giving me an escape
And introducing me to a brighter day
With a promising FUTURE of tomorrow
And a rescue from my sorrows
A kiss from you would be so worth it
Because in my eyes you are just perfect

Problems built up so high not even jesus could reach
Issues became frustration taking over my mind
Unhappiness filled my life to the "T"
Eyes got blurry So a better future i could not see
Hatred made my heart black
My soul knew pain love it lacked
Dreams faded fast hope was no more
See i locked closed and built bricks over my door
I became the number one fool
                                But suddenly you;
Swept me off my feet;made my soul complete
                                Suddenly you
wrapped your hands around my heart;put a lock on it so it could never come apart
                                  Suddenly you;
open y eyes so i could see;took a barrier off my lungs so i could breath
                                   Suddenly you
blew a breath of love in my soul;looked me in my eyes and began to make me whole
                                    Suddenly you
                             **** suddenly you
Gave me what no one can;remolded me into something i couldnt be back then
                                      Suddenly you
walked in my life;made everything right;took away pain and strife;and gave me better days and loving nights
                                       Suddenly ............... you
made  a brilliance out of a fool;took the fire of hate and put love on cool
                And I love you i really do; why? because
                                               SUDDENLY YOU

It was a friendship just someone to talk to
No ties, no strings attached we was cool
There was no *** of course i am too far
I was her sky and she was my stars
Conversations go by and I'm feeling her style
How she makes me laugh and drive me wild
A talking friend is what we r suppose to be
But somewhere down the line my emotions began to leak
I haven't even seen her in person and that goes both ways
Sounds to me like a twist of fate
She is sweet and i don't want to move to soon
A good friendship i don't want to loose
I seem to be feeling her more and more
But i don't want to open the wrong door
I like her and i can see us expanding
But i want a rock made relationship not no plastic
I keep telling myself keep up ya guard
Chris hold it down you got the *****
But baby girl is taking me somewhere nice
I day dream of her and a new life
It was a friendship just someone to talk to
As time goes by wanting to tell her ( i want you)
I can see her being my better half
I can see a love that will truly last
She was supposed to be a friend just a play mate
But it is looking like a Twist Of Fate

There's so much on my mind my brain is about to explode
No longer having nothing to lean on or keep me whole
I've been disowned by half of my family because of decisions I've made
All the debts I have in life I'm beginning to pay
So many problems begin to bottle up inside
I keep them in 'well' at least I try
Here is a brief of what I'm going through
Sit back relax and read a poem of a fool
I got caught up in a relationship i can hardly handle
My whole life seems to be a scandal
I dropped out of school my biggest mistake
So far away i don't want to go back and that i hate
I've got a little sister who I've hurt so bad
The pain she have for me makes me sad
I'm in love and don't think the person feel the same
Everyday i wake up my life is going to waist
Finally heard from my mother who im eager to see
But the love for a man is more important than me
My father lost faith he is back on drugs
Wanting to erase everything and bring it back like it was
My older sister is doing her own thing
And for everything I just wrote I seem to be the blame
It seem like its small nut you don't understand
All I want is a helping hand
I want to grow up but I'm scared
I cant handle things now what will I do then
There is so much on my mind my brain is about to explode
Even with those that care for me I still feel alone




     i wrote this when i was 16 yrs old

You probably wont ever get this poem
Because i cant even get to you over the phone
i want you to know your puerto- rican princess has grew
I'm no longer seven and innocent too
I'm sixteen years old and have grown out my hair
Momma do you hear me i wish you was here
I know i wasn't no angel and i was spoiled is hell
I know i got on your nerves i can tell
momma i miss you and want to see your face
memories of you  i just cant erase
I dream about you all the time
Momma you need to know your always on my mind
I have a girlfriend that i really love
you see momma i told you i grew up
In so many ways she reminds me of you
its the little things she say and do
I think you would like her and really approve
Because if i was you i would approve too
Momma do you hear me i love you so much
I want you to hold me i want to feel your touch
One of these days we will rejoin
Face to face or over the phone

                                                   I love you momma

Bask me in the essence of your life
serve me a plate of your sorrow and strife
And i will eat it whole
tie me up and throw stones of your pain to my head
break me down to the damaging things that went on in your bed
And i will take it whole
give my half way cleaned up heart your impurity's
tell me you are scared and your love is unsure to me
And i will stay whole
break me down like acid in your stomach
feed me to the lions and say i don't want it
threaten my very own life
still i will be all right
And i will stand whole
share your most embarrassing moments with my ear
and if you don't want me to know i will just act as if i cant hear
but let it out
and if your letting it is giving it to me
i will take your burdens cant you see
And still sleep whole
open me up like a old wound ,and pour your salt of hate for life inside
i will close it up my self the burning that i feel from it  i will hide
as long as your alright
And i will heal whole
take your gun of sickness and scared of lonely
put it to my head and girl just *******
******* away
And i will be whole
you see im so into you
til there is nothing that u could say or do
my love for you stands strong
so i am willing to take all of your wrongs
give them to me to throw away
let me erase it for you and give u a clean slay
start fresh but end it with me
these things i will say even on dieing knees
Just so i could leave whole
i will take it all and burn it down with the fire of love
that burns from my soul hold u and cool u down with a warm hug
let it out ,let it go
you can even let me know
So our love can be whole......

HOLDING ON TO WHATS BROKEN
TRYING TO SHIELD WHAT WAS ALREADY STOLEN
SITTING HER HOPING
THAT WE CAN STAY FOCUSED AND MEND WHAT WAS BROKEN
DREAMS AND FANTASIES BEGIN TO SEIZE
AS I DROP TO MY KNEES AND BEGIN TO PLEAD
LORD DON'T LET HER LEAVE ME
FOR WITH OUT HER I CANT BREATH
I MEAN I CANT SEE
WELL FOR NO REASON I WILL JUST BLEED
FOR HER LOVE I NEED
HER VOICE OF SWEET MELODIES
I JUST CANT ALLOW TO LEAVE CANT YOU SEE
I AM HOLDING ON FOR YEARS HAS WENT BY
NOT ONE DAY HAS GONE WITHOUT A TEAR FALLING FROM MY EYE
BUT I TELL YOU KNOW LIE
MY LOVE I STILL CANT HIDE
NO MATTER HOW I TRIED ALL ATTEMPTS WAS A LIE
THE SMELL OF HER PERFUME FLOW THROUGH THE AIR EVERY TIME I GO OUT SIDE
AND THEY SAY IS TIME TO LET MY LOVE FOR HE GO BYE
AND I ASK Y
FOR LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL PEACEFUL LOVE IS LOVING LOVE IS THE BEGINNING OF EVERY THING THAT IS BREATHING FOR WITHOUT LOVE WE ARE NOTHING SO Y, Y DO THEY CUT ME DOWN BECAUSE MY LOVE HAS TRIED TO GO ASTRAY AND I HELD TIGHT TO MAKE IT STAY EVERY CONSEQUENCE I WILL PAY AS LONG AS MY LOVE DON'T DELAY OR GO ASTRAY
BUT IT HAS AND NOT WILLING MY LOVE WAS TAKEN BY THE GOOD MAN HE WROTE HIS NAME IN SAND AND SAID I NEED HER SO YES THAT IS WHY I HAVE HELD ON TO MY LOVE BECAUSE IN HEAVEN SHE AWAITS FOR ME TO WALK THROUGH THOSE GATES AND THERE I WILL STAY WITH ENOUGH TIME TO SAY I LOVE YOU

ALL LOVE IS WORTH HOLDING ON

‎​Some say loving me is wrong: and if iht is true yhu will never be right: look yhu in ya eyes and I love chris pours from ya eye sight: and that love yhu have for me is so bright: I make yhu love me more after we argue and fight: whispering in my ear she will be alright: yhu hear my name and ya legs get light: I keep yhu ****** tight: eat yhu like pie yhu my favirote slice: the love yhu got for me is pure like snow white

When i was born i was born as one
As soon as i came out my mothers womb my journey begun;
Learning that i was born into a world of sin
Thinking to myself growing was easy when i was within;
Now I'm in a world of hurt, pain, destruction by death
Wondering if death at birth would have been best;
Dropping to my knees and to god i cry
Talking to god on a personal note and just asking why;
There is no way you can make it by yourself
With all that's going on in the world your going to need something else;
So i told god " i need a angel"
One that could cover me from all angles
So that i could be protected from hurt, harm, and danger
sometimes your angel can be a stranger;
Life is a test quizzed by the best
One man who is stronger and power fuller than the rest;
I had to learn to just pray
It's only god that can get us through each and every day ;
So when my life turns up side down to tangle
i just look to the sky and say" Lord i need an angel"

Sometimes when im looking in her eyes
I find myself asking the inner me why
Sometimes when i hold her i question is this real
all the love i have for her do i really feel
When i kiss her i wonder is this love what it seems
I'm telling you the type of happiness i never dreamed
Never dreamed of loving you as much as i do
my whole world revolves around you
When i hold u in my arms going to sleep
I still find u being involved in my dreams
Never dreamed of waking up to the woman i love
Or finding warmth and comfort in one of your hugs
I love you so much i dont know how to act
Wanting you forever and that is a fact
See i never dreamed of settling down so young
But this dream im dreaming can only be dreamed once
So ill keep dreaming a dream I never dreamed
And i wont wake up as long as your with me

I had a dream that one day gays and straights
Could live on this earth without thinking of disgrace
I had a dream
That I walked in a church without being judged
But was welcomed in with love and hugs
I had a dream
Yes I had a dream that gender didn't matter
And loving was okay..........
No matter what way
I had a dream
That we was equal as one
So that I don't have to be ashamed about what I've done
That the battle of gay rights no longer exist
And that me kissing my girl was beautiful in your eyes instead of sick
Just as martin luther king dreamed so do I
Because I am tired of the lies
I am sick of the hidden truth
god said love and that is what I do

‎​- when I needed someone to talk to the only one I could count on was you , when I had problems , at times you would laugh but you'd help solve 'em , you helped me when my mind was unsure , you was the first totell me to be strong even when I was wrong , you helped me keep steady , even when I wasn't ready . We laughed when peaceful and humble , you helped me the most when I stumble and I thank you ..                                                                                                                                      
         By: chanelle

Broken promises, thoughts, and dreams
What u thought or wanted i cant seem to be
Broken words fall from your lips
And **** how quickly you forget
Forget that you cursed me hell called me everything in the book
Your words,your disrespect,because your my parent i have overlooked

I am..........Broken
From my heart love for my parents, you my parents have stolen
along time ago may i add
Oh you cant figure well then do the math
You have crumbled me every time i tried to please
or even put ya mind to ease drama i squeezed to seize
But... you still say who i am is not good enough
you eat my dreams,and fantasy's for lunch
    So why should i care?.....
Why should i want u to be there
See i try to understand your method of life
And have grown to learn that it isn't right
You say your dreams for me i have stolen
Well who cares that the love i had for u my parents in my heart is broken

Why live a life that is not worth living
I carry a cross that is not worth bearing
the knives in me go in so deep
voices screaming in my ears i sleep

I cant take it no more all of this chaos and pain
feeling like life is nothing im going insane
i pray that god take this pain from me
where is the light only darkness i see

leave me alone i have nothing for you
why all of the abuse what did i do
my heart cant take none of this
i sometimes wish you presence i could dismiss

this is my feeling of chaos and pain
these are the feelings that drive me insane
these are the feelings i need to leave
Here lies the things that makes my heart bleed

If u believe in Jesus Christ and he died on the cross ya soul would be saved
Religious folks stress that everyday
"(Come as u are)" words that come out they mouth
But if your  not like them they single u out
"(No sin is greater then the next or to be speccific the rest)"
well lets put your faith to the test
I'm a sinner at least that is what u would say
But i believe he died for me" doesn't that make me saved?
I walk in the c Church with baggy jeans
And after service they say next time a dress please
My sin is a abomination in his sight
so you look at me  different, am i right?
You point at me look me up and down
Shake your head and say my soul wont be found
You don't even like me in your church
And question my being on Sunday when u see me on my porch
followed by u telling me i need th find the lord
And then behind my back cut me like a sword
But i believe he died for me so doesn't that make me saved?
at least that's what they say
but that's until they find out Im gay....