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soft Dec 2019
You say you like them dark and twisted,
yet you call her crazy.
She's a lovely girl
with the most corrupt mind,
no, not the cute type of corrupt
that makes you blush
with an inappropriate sense of humor.
She's the kind of twisted that
leaves her own body begging for mercy,
her tongue stings with the poison
of unkind words only meant for her.
She bends and bows at the feet of her demons
for only they can grant
the kind of release she longs for.
soft Dec 2019
Sometimes I do wish
you could hear just
how dangerous this
silence can be.
I stopped talking and nobody noticed
soft Dec 2019
Being a dreamer
has ruined my reality
I’ve always spent quite a bit of time in my head
painting pictures of what life should be,
what life should feel like
Now as an adult I am constantly moving around to new homes in new places
forever unsatisfied by what I see and what I do not feel
I fear I will never find what I am searching for,
As I know my dreams cannot be reality
soft Nov 2019
They’ll ask me if it was the food that did it for me
or if it was the puking
I guess it was both,
they both numbed me right up
until my gag reflex gave out
Now I sit here with buds in my ears,
nodding my head to the music
with a bottle to my lips
the alcohol cooling my empty stomach
This is how I live with myself
at least I’m living with myself
soft Nov 2019
Life without addiction
feels dull,
I am more numb now
than I ever was while using
the only difference sober is
I am so painfully aware of it.
soft Nov 2019
I was born into a world that clipped wings and barred windows.
The people around me littered the air
with false hope and promises.
They told me they would be there no matter what,
help me no matter what I needed.
Little did I know it was all a fallacy.
They were not there to hold my hand
when I stepped on the scale for the first time,
then each day that followed.
They were not there to pluck the blade
from my fingers after I discovered its release.
They were not there to wipe my tears and hold my head up
each night when I collapsed.
I want to believe they tried to offer support
and be there when I needed them most,
but is that true?
I do not want them to be half in with their half hearts-
leave me to my vices and let me cope
in a way that I know I cant trust.
very personal to me.
soft Nov 2019
They left me to rot,
then called to ask how I was doing.
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