We endure to strive see better things
Upon golden horizons
Though awe strikingly gray clouds
Obscure our precious sun's light.

I watch an ocean fill the gaps of the earth
Without a sound
We move past and no one breaks their gaze from their own lives,
And goals of material gain.

I watch an ocean
Integral
Intended
Full of depth too great for a man's mind...
We need not know
How vast a wonder
No grasp to attain
Just to observe
Breathe amazed sighs,
Gaze up towards full skies,
Ask to see through His eyes...
It is a wish of mine.

Canyons of water,
Buildings of waves
Architecture of sound and of depths
Too great
for my mind.

I fall away, fall apart, into the waves I drift,
and I may drown,
To hear you say
A word.

Daughter.

Alive.

With the gale of a storm in my soul I rise above and feel held together!
You have stitched my open scars,
Tied your hands as tourniquets to my outpouring blood,
Realigned my broken bones,
And whispered to my heart a message I could not hear or understand-
At once, it beat.

You are my source of equanimity.
My eyes see new things,
Because of You.

And because of all my healing
I now know how
The world will come to see You
And believe You.

My home is always in Your presence,
and I've risen from so many mountains of ashes,
Each time,
A touch
Brighter.

Soft whisps of sound
Echoed through
Your airy room,
Illuminated by afternoon sun.
My eyes could never brighten from their rays
Dark as the trees bark in the shade,
I could never impress
The onlooker.
Yet yours were unraveled by the light
An emerald glow that always
Pierced through to the very depths of me.
I loved this room.
It was so open, vast,
The wood paneled flooring corrected
The structure of my spine,
A posture redefined.

We never came here
with heavy hearts--
that lasted.

But today was a new day.
After all..
There must always be ends
to beginnings.

Here is our living progress.

I walked in expecting nothing more than a serene day
To spend with you,
We had hours to create new memories.
To stand side by side,
To feel sparks emanating from our hands
Every dot of skin
Exerting energy that can only be described as Love in movement.

But today was different.

I crossed the room upon my arrival
To see you in a broken heap upon the wooden floor
I remember your falling tears,
Shuddering shoulders,
Heaving ribcage...
I did not know you were able to crumble before now.
But this was a time where I could not utter such questions.
I begged for knowledge of the news I only knew
Would tear me down
Yet I fought the fear away
before I heard your breathing slow
And the words you spoke
Dripped thick and slow like toxins down a riverbank.

And all I remember was seeing your hands shake as they held you up.
Your arms, like pillars on the wood paneled floor.

I felt a sense of a crashing tidal wave over my world.
How could I live without a friend Ive known to be so dear?
Was it all a dream?
A fleeting shard of a nightmare fueled by stress and constricting warmth?
There was no hint of life in me that desired the truth to be what it was...
And that was Truth.
A smothering, suffocating reality.

He was gone.

I stared with glazed eyes upwards towards through the ceiling to a deadpan sky with no answer,
Other than the throbbing sensation I knew,
Somehow the only solution to my pain
A voice above the clouds
Whispered itself to me...
Death is the road to awe. Acceptance leads to strength.
I am nearest to you when your soul feels like tearing itself in two.

Look away from me.

Those trembling hands.

I backed away into a whirlwind of deafening silence and despair
My heart broke into a thousand pieces,
And to this day I'll never forget the noise it made.

Every night
around the same late hour
when the world has darkened--
My heart beats somberly on
as I wonder about,
well…

You are the air beneath my wings
but you’ve drifted away--
I don’t blame you.

I need lift off.

No one wants
to read somethin
Happy.

We're lookin for negative, mournful words
from the livin,
breathin,
emotion-reelin
Heart.

Writing bout a bad day
or a crazy situation or two,
that you can't make sense of.

Being sad or upset about anything
is what attracts people
To people.

It's the only way to learn something
About somebody.

There’s a lot of fear in me.
There are anxieties and worries so great,
it feels like they’re running through my blood.
I cannot afford to live like this but I am so afraid of saying and DOING all that I’m feeling,
that I do quite the opposite--
mostly due to my fear of messing things up for others.
I’ve been putting myself last in almost every situation I can
for a long time now.

I hate the backseat, that’s no word of a lie, but I won’t sell out.

Just once though, I’d like for things to go smoothly,
without these struggles I have to suppress daily.
I think I’d be far less liked if I did and said what I felt all the time,
but is that such a bad thing? shouldn’t people like me anyways?

Neverending chains of dread and uneasiness.

I know it aint worth it/

My mind knows it so well--
it's always known the wise choice!

...It's all a matter of stomping out
My wretch of a
heart's intentions.