Afraid.
I am afraid to write a poem.
Someone will not like it.
Someone will think it's
unoriginal
uninspired
boring.
People will not care about
the thought
the emotion
the worries
that I put into this poem.
I write them,
I read them,
I save them as drafts
and hide them from the sun
until I decide that
I
don't
care
if I'm the only one that likes it.

I just don't want you here anymore
and it is my fault you are back.
You left like I was nothing.
And it is my fault you are back.
I can't. I can't. I can't anymore.
You think it's funny when I say I can't.
But what I mean is, I can't.
I can take you, physically.
Physically, I am numb to you now.
My heart still aches.
My brain still aches. You make me ache in every way.
Please don't go.
Please don't go away.
Please don't go away again.
I want you gone.
I want you erased.
I want you.
I want you gone.

I absolutely hate having a crush on someone.
You constantly feel like nothing because you think you could never be good enough for them.
How am I supposed to look him in the eye when my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest?
I kind of hope I never fall in love because if liking someone is this painful, falling in love might **** me.

He's beautiful

But I am terrified
Because I fear that I may be in love with who he could be
Rather than who he really is

I use my headphones
the way one in critical condition
may use an oxygen tube
it is the only way to survive these
     horrible conditions
     traumatic experiences
     tragic side effects
of life
and it is what keeps me going

**g.m.

I'm not into politics
i don't care who the president is
if you're a communist, go ahead.
i'm not into debates and rallies
i don't vote for one side, i'm three dimensional
i don't care for democracy, fascism,
or whatever it is you are putting
in my hair, underneath my fingernails.
I'm not into that volcano of
confusion and opinions, screeching for
security of the word "true" but
all i hear is the ringing in my
ears saying OPINION
           and sure, i have a few
I like to think that everyone is
misinformed and my way is not left

but when religious *******
start the stabbing

they're going to go for the throats
of the sad souls that betrayed them

the cigar smoking;grunge wearing;music loving;peacemaking; hippies children

and i will survive the fight

because i had nothing to do with it?

no
i will never be a part of your
war

on policies
and your

****** hating

I will live my life as a lovechild

in a perfect world

where there are no idiots waving their ***** around.


these are
happy days we live in