Return to my childhood haunts
searching for my own ghost.
The memory a twinkle in my eye
for a moment
it never really ended.

I was buried in the corner of a packed elevator today
when I lost my breath at the realization
that I was the only woman aboard.
Inspecting the men near me
imagined capable malice.
Calculating their weight
versus mine,
and the imposed ratio
of those who would help
to those who would walk away
if my vulnerability turned to danger
here in this elevator.
In that moment I knew
                                               
       
    ­                                                                 ­       *I’m not okay.

Soldiers overseas like the wars
on our streets are already won.
I hear sirens all night long,
Victims fallen to another man's liberties,
I wonder when they're coming for me.
Sirens whisper
when women are assaulted every nine seconds
and War on Drugs permits the crimes of cops.
The sirens are silent now.
Protect my freedom
but cage me in fear.
Strangled by his hand he held me down,
I could not breathe.
I saw his face and knew
it was a memory I would not soon forget
though I would be quickly forgotten.
That's how power is held here
They told me it was a crime of *******.
the poverty line inches,
keeps inching, toward the middle class
I am not free.
I only sleep in the light because
I don't belong in the day.
This fear keeps me awake at night
Chronic.
Voices like bombs
chasing me like shrapnel.
I hear sirens all night long
I wonder when they're coming for me.

Dad planned new ways to
live, while Mom contemplated
the best way to die.

1, 2, 3, hold my breath
waves crash upon my chest
current sweeps my feet from
beneath
release
my muscles, feel the sea
rolling over me
still can't breathe
sea and sand tumble across my face
break the surface
reborn in air and open eyes
cure me or be my demise
1, 2, 3, hold my  breath
waves break on my chest
dive under all the rest.

Call me a constellation
the brightest stars my passion
seen from miles away
even when the stars burned out long ago
Call me a constellation
perfect and whole
space between, room to grow
Connect the stars paint me a picture
Born of fire a survivor in the night
Even Zeus could not strike me down
Stars shine clear over mountains, my tiny hometown
I come alive under the darkest skies
daylight is my only disguise
Return nightly
right where you left me
I'm not simply waiting,
I call it loyalty.