I can feel last summer’s ghost
and the summers before that feel quite the same
they run together in rapid fluidity of campfires,
swimming in the lake, sun-kissed cheeks,
and long trampoline talks
I can still hear the beer cans crushing
marshmallows melting
mountain pies searing in the hot coals
laughing in the dark
our voices echoed on the trees
and the moon lit our faces
as we swam in the waters that knew our skin
just as much as we knew the clay beneath our feet
wrapped in towels and blankets
our bodies wet
our spirits high
watched each other grow under those stars
the Big Dipper always in sight
it seemed to hold us all in its palm
huddled together in experience
a life we shared only with each other
the things only Central kids knew
safe from the world afar
it was just us out there
we were all we needed
water ripples gently
our feet reach the shore
I guess this is what if feels like to grow up
to look back
fondly

Ask me “what’s wrong?”
I’ll always say “tired”
Don’t be fooled
you know the truth
Know me too well
If I were truly sleepy
I would be very loopy
Don’t be fooled
you know the truth

Saddest girl with a smile
on her face never fades
dances with the wind
cries with the rain
she wants no one to see her pain
heartbreaking words said with a smile
she’s been holding it in for a while

Silliest girl without a care
says goofy things
seems so unaware
much more introspective,
reserved than you’d think

Gives hugs freely
friends embrace
but she won’t give
him a chance to kiss her face

Scared someone will
look her in the eye
and know the things
that make her cry
Can barely talk
to her closest friends
secretly likes it
when they pry

Longs for the days of ole
never tell a soul
Pretty, isn’t she?
silently, *“please don’t see me”.

Saw your pictures, Mom
the sadness in your eyes so calm
There was a minute when
I barely recognized your face
Shame on me
look in the mirror and see
your features have left a trace

Well your pictures look great
March 20th, 2013 was the date
An obituary photo shoot
how fabulously like you
Preparing for sad days ahead
planning like you’re already dead
Morningside Cemetery plot number six
another family member to add to the mix
Tombstone of granite
grapevine wrapped cross engraved on it
These conversations are sad but true
you only want less for me to do
I’m sorry because you love me so much
while I’m here in Chicago far out of touch
Call as much as you please
hearing your voice is the worst tease
I want to see your face now, hold you tight
please just know I'm doing alright.

Why do you want to know me?
Who do you think I am
or want me to be?
The depths of my soul
you’re not ready to see.
Probably not who you think.
A mistake you thought
you wouldn’t make
My heart is already broke
What feelings have I awoke?
Do you think your heart can repair me?
How fair would that be?
I just don’t want your soul
to be wounded at my hands.
If you come any closer
you might sink in my quicksand.
I can’t bear to bring you down
Don’t want my pain to make you frown.
What did I ever do
to interest the likes of you?