Simone

Simone Apr 2018

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you gave me butterflies today
i thought falling in love was a quick action
i thought there would’ve been a limit that would be reached in no time

but it’s been awhile and i’m still falling for you
not knowing when i’ll stop falling

Simone Apr 2018

What I need

I’ve decided I need to stop.
I need to stop asking you things.
I shouldn’t rely on you having my back
and I’m not deciding this for you but for our sake.

I need to stop expecting you’ll be here when I’m sad,
I need to stop.
I need to stop telling you what’s bothering me,
I need to stop asking for love,
attention or just a conversation.
I need to stop demanding you to love me.
I need to stop expecting something.

I need to stop because
I shouldn’t give myself too high hopes
because
I shouldn’t ask you things you can’t give
because
I shouldn’t demand love
you are not willing to give anymore
because
I know you can’t give me what I need.

Simone Apr 2018

Untitled

I stopped saying forever because I’m afraid I’m asking you something you don’t want.

Simone Feb 2018

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*******

Simone Feb 2018

the cleaning metaphor

I want it gone. All of it.
I start to clean.

I remove all the dust
that makes me sneeze,
I remove the smudges
on the mirror
that have been bothering me.

It's still
too
messy,

I walk around.
Picking up clothes,
arranging books.

I'm suffocating,
I need some air.

I open my window,
light a candle
that smells
of happiness.

Vaccuum the floor,
throw away nonsense
that has been laying on my desk
for a while.
I want all of it gone.

I calm down,
I recognize it again.
I can be again.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Simone Feb 2018

the shower metaphor.

And there I was.
The hot stream of water, pouring down my back.
I start to think, while I feel my skin burning, numbing.
My head hurts. My thoughts start to overflow. My emotions follow the stream, away to a place I don’t really know.

Whilst I close my eyes, I try to feel again. Is it too much?
All of a sudden, I feel every individual drop of water. Burning, numbing me. I turn off the water, I need to go. This isn’t what I should do.

I grab a towel and wipe away the water. Maybe next time I’ll enjoy it and sing, as I usually do.

I know I’m not alone, they see me. But the only one I see is the blind one I love the most.

Simone Jan 2018

My first angry poem

I hate the you who wants to be the better you,
the you that everyone must like, because that’s the cool one right?

I hate the cool one who thinks it’s fun to be offensive and rude.
That’s the you I don’t want to be with.

Based on “a lot of things”

#angry