To believe that life will stand still when you do
would be a foolish thought
but one can only hope for such a reality
to hide the guilt of wasting precious time
In order to save a few minutes
to curl up on your bed and think
cry
or long for past events to change

We thrive on the hope that somehow
our future actions will atone for our past errors
By any chance we realize the truth
We hope
and god, do we ever hope
that life will slow down long enough for us
to pick ourselves up and try again
should we ever be so lucky

Feeling is such an undecided blessing and curse
for whom will it turn to
and who will it turn for
Once you vow yourself to another
what can you say
when you have lost all feeling from before
having no intention
of finding it again

The heart we carry is so fragile
and we are so young
What a shame that we cannot remove ourselves from another life
without taking a piece of them with us
When so many have taken you apart
and so many have left your side
how can you open your eyes
to the light

I have loved and lost
Though we are apart
I would never fall from regret
If only you had left apart of yourself
for me too

Today I heard your name
I heard you are well
living soundly with blossomed love
My stomach had turned in knots
and my heart had felt it was pushing its way
out of my chest

This time, the feeling began to fade.

More shocked than I had ever dreamnt I could be
Here I was hearing your name
seeing your face
and feeling nothingness inside
and from there
happiness grew

Maybe this time I can wish you well
with a smile on my face
stemming from head to toe

Maybe this time I will breathe slower
to the beat of my own stumbling heart

Maybe this time
I will not be afraid to live
anymore

The more time spent alone
the more I find it intoxicating
The sound of steady breathing
the pages of a tattered novel slowly turning
my chair creaking to my shifting weight
as I foolishly try to get comfortable
on a brisk afternoon
When all is not as hectic as before
and my only concern
is my tea over cooling
before the chapter ends
When the whole world lies in my room
my book
my mug and chair
and the rest is tucked away
for a little while longer

How much longer
until my bones to ash
These days cause me to grow weary of life
as everything leads to a creeping sickness of my soul

Days have lost there radiance
and the sun shines over me no more
I cannot take this existence so far from what I once had
The weight of the world
cannot be lifted by my arms any longer

The nights are longer now
and the dark feels like home
Love has said its final goodbyes
and so It is time
I say mine as well

I do what I have to
My duty to my own
I hold a weapon
I don't think twice
The enemy deserves no second chances
I shoot because they are not on my side
I look straight ahead as they fall because they follow another's orders
There is nothing else I can do
This is not my war
This is only my fight.

Gentle nights
So sweet do they sound
The warm glow of the moon and nothing else
The breeze drifting by and by
for the dreamers that wish
for a better tomorrow
Silent wanderers glance up
hoping for better days
in far off cities
searching for the stars
only to find streetlights
to guide them back home
for the day may be for prospering
but the night promises a life beyond tomorrow