The truth hurts
So I prefer my beautiful lies

That rose had nine inch spikes
It took me months to get pricked

My heart was happy
So she just had to crush it

The flower said i wish i was a tree
The tree said i wish i could be
A different kind of tree
The cat wished that it was a bee
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky
Over rooftops and then dive deep into the sea
And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that is a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus with a pink flower on it
And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus with a pink flower on it
And the flower would be it's offering
To the desert so dry and lonely
And the desert so dry and lonely
So that all the animals apreaciate the effort
The rattle snake said "i wish i had hands
So i could hug you like a man"
And the cactus said "well don't you understand,
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
I'm sure a hug would be nice
But hug my flower with your eyes"
The flower said i wish i was a tree
The tree said i wish i could be
A different kind of tree
The cat wished that it was a bee
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea
And in the sea we have a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it

I can feel it consuming me from inside
It's tendrils wrapped around my crumbling heart
Ripping sobs from my throat
It has made me weak

I don't think I know what love feels like anymore
Since all I can gather of it
Is equivalent to amputating your leg
Without anesthetic

Why would i choose to stand
to fight
when im sure that the weight
that will not stop tugging at my sleeve
the weight of existing
would feel so much better
if i let it drag me to the ground
and pull me beneath the earth
let me be heavy
let me give up
let me end

I dont want to know far the depths of my love for you go
because all I know right now is that I want to put you safely away in my heart
and keep you there
and that alone scares me

How many years has it been
How many endless days of carving 'forget her'
into the soft tissue of my brain
of my heart

How much longer will it take

A hollow feeling creeps into my chest cavity
And I am lost

In all the Millions of years people have existed
In all the Millions of years they have yet to live
Somehow
Somewhere inbetween
Was us

It just keeps getting harder to breath

Tell me
Tell me how i got so hollow

I want to scream about how hard I'm trying to surface
even though it feels like the entire world is pushing me down and down

I'm grasping on to any little bit of nothing to hold onto you
And my palms are sweaty and my fingers ache
but I can't let go yet

I've been thinking a lot about how many mouths have touched yours lately
and how
mine's not one of them

My heart is ******* pounding
just for you
just because the word baby slipped out of your mouth
and wrapped around me in the sweetest way
boy
you got me feelin a certain way

I am so stupid
I've checked my phone
5 times in the last 60 seconds
And I jump
Every time it lights up
Hoping it's a message from you
I've tagged you in 10 posts today
Thinking that maybe
You'll see them and message me
I am so stupid

My soul is ****** out
Through my soft lips
Down your throat
You seem so content
With it in your posession
I can't bring myself
To ask for it back

this emptiness
is all consuming
there will be nothing left

How many ways
can you tell a person
how empty you are

How many times
do you repeat yourself
before everyone
gets tired of listening

You feel like a liar in sheep's clothing
like the husk of someone I never really loved

My heart aches for lucifer
and all the love he could have known
if he had only been shown forgiveness

your ex likes your tweet and you can feel yourself spiralling into the ******* abyss, your body is turning to dust and all that will be left is the thought that when someone says "emily" you still see her face

the words 'make me better' erupted from my throat
he said he could not
i wept

There is heartbreak ahead
I am bracing as if it will come
like a hurricane aboard a ship
There IS heartbreak ahead
and yet i still stumble
into your open arms
and wait for it to tear me to shreds

I dont yet
want to define
what we are
with a single word
like
"together"

We are soft
and caring
We hold eachother up
when the other would have fallen
We are within eachother's heart
day and night

That is more than
"together"

I don't know
If my words will be strong enough
to describe how much
I want you

I keep writing messages and deleting them
and writing and deleting
and hoping I'll gain the courage to send one
to tell you how much I still care
how much I still hurt

I want you
everyday
I want the good things
and the bad
I want your soft and sweet
And your hard and jagged edges
I want you happy, sad, and angry
I want all of you
everyday
for as long as you will let me have you

I would give everything I have
for you to be happy
my possesions
the body that holds me
my very life

I can feel no selfishness
while wading in your sadness
waist high,
suffocating at the thought
of your tears

Im so mentally unstable right now
---
I just want blood
I want hands pulling my limbs from their sockets
I want to rip the hair from my head
And dismember every digit on my two hands
To have my intestines pulled from my body hand over hand
I want to be lying dead on the floor in a mess of parts you can't tell is me

Sweet words fall from your mouth into my hard beating heart
You've been talking for hours and I never want to stop listening
Tell me more, always, tell me more
I want to know the insides and outsides of you
Like the hymns I bellow every sunday morning ever since I could remember
Etch yourself into my soft brain and my rigid heart
Even when you are gone I will never forget all those sweet words
You have given to me

I love you
to the moon
to every planet beyond
the little rock that orbits us
to pluto!
to the next galaxy and the next
to a whole other universe
to a dozen of them
to the edge of time and space
and all the way back to my head
on your chest
where i can hear your heart beating
i love you

Its been a few days since i last saw you
But Im still thinking about the little curls at the end of your hair
And the little crinkles next to your eyes
And
How my heart takes off when you smile

You are the stars
that make my eyes twinkle
when i look at the night sky

He is the moon
that holds my tides
and makes my oceans come alive

And I will be the sun
Spreading warmth to you
everyday until i go out

I'd nearly forgotten about you
Two years is a long time when you're so young
Then
You liked that picture
And everything came flooding back

My love does not fade
I force it away
I refuse to play
This children's game