She said one little thing
And it shattered my confidence
"You should try being nicer"
How could I let five words have so much power over me

It's not me
It's you
Now leave
Cuz I don't like you

Im so mentally unstable right now
---
I just want blood
I want hands pulling my limbs from their sockets
I want to rip the hair from my head
And dismember every digit on my two hands
To have my intestines pulled from my body hand over hand
I want to be lying dead on the floor in a mess of parts you can't tell is me

I dont want to know far the depths of my love for you go
because all I know right now is that I want to put you safely away in my heart
and keep you there
and that alone scares me

Come dream with me
And when you feel the ecstatic warmth
You will understand my affection

Wow

I ****

I feel like my chest is going to explode
with all the good things you make me feel
I don't think I can find any words
To explain this
other than that I am helpless
when it comes to you

I know I'm the one who ended it
But I'm just so alone
And she is the only thing
That has ever really felt like home

the words 'make me better' erupted from my throat
he said he could not
i wept

We only have the rest of our lives
So hold me tight
So hold me tight

this emptiness
is all consuming
there will be nothing left

they have a boyfriend
and i have a lingering pain in my chest.

Were those
Your hands
around my neck?
Or was I
choking
On those vicious words
I was dying
to spit at you
and did you see
my tears that fell
when you told me to
"go to hell"
little did you know
I was already there
You were always so self aware
I think that's why
You couldn't
**care

I loved them
and you know how i know
because i feel this ignorant tightness in my chest every time i see them
and I feel this pointless emptiness every time i remember they never loved me back

I'd nearly forgotten about you
Two years is a long time when you're so young
Then
You liked that picture
And everything came flooding back

I've been thinking a lot about how many mouths have touched yours lately
and how
mine's not one of them

My love does not fade
I force it away
I refuse to play
This children's game

I don't know
If my words will be strong enough
to describe how much
I want you

Everything means nothing to me
and
nothing is all i know

you just
you get drunk
and you think you're gonna pour your soul out into sad poems
but you've got no words to explain anything
you've run out of ways to say
"I don't feel anything anymore and I cry all the time and i feel like ****"
so
you just
you get more drunk

Out of anything I could have
Why must I want him

You feel like a liar in sheep's clothing
like the husk of someone I never really loved

I want to scream about how hard I'm trying to surface
even though it feels like the entire world is pushing me down and down

You were so beautiful
so loved
But what have you become ?
What has the seduction of evil made you ?
I can barely recognize my own brother
Years upon years, AN ETERNITY, we spent together
But I do not know this creature who stands before me
This world
The Heavens
Even I
Have nothing more you can take
Yet you still hunger
I fear that now there cannot be any redemption for you
If there was a spark of hope left
Even after all you have done to hurt me
I would kneel before father and grovel for your soul
But I know that my fears are truth
There is no redemption for what you have become
Do you understand?
I am his second in command
Just as you were his first
You cannot come home
And I cannot leave you here to wreak destruction over mankind
I must destroy you
And I pray I cease to exist in the process
For I do not want to live with my brother's blood on my hands

I am throwing up
and i do not know
if its because
i am sick or
because you made me this way
jealousy retches from my body
but
my diseased mind
will not leave me

I dont yet
want to define
what we are
with a single word
like
"together"

We are soft
and caring
We hold eachother up
when the other would have fallen
We are within eachother's heart
day and night

That is more than
"together"