She said one little thing
And it shattered my confidence
"You should try being nicer"
How could I let five words have so much power over me

When I write poems on here
They feel so official
It's nice to know people see
See what I feel
Without me having to tell them

I don't like to sleep
Because when I sleep, I dream
And when I dream, I dream of things I can't have
And that makes me sad
So I don't sleep

I dont want to know far the depths of my love for you go
because all I know right now is that I want to put you safely away in my heart
and keep you there
and that alone scares me

Im so mentally unstable right now
---
I just want blood
I want hands pulling my limbs from their sockets
I want to rip the hair from my head
And dismember every digit on my two hands
To have my intestines pulled from my body hand over hand
I want to be lying dead on the floor in a mess of parts you can't tell is me

this emptiness
is all consuming
there will be nothing left

It's not me
It's you
Now leave
Cuz I don't like you

Come dream with me
And when you feel the ecstatic warmth
You will understand my affection

the words 'make me better' erupted from my throat
he said he could not
i wept

I know I'm the one who ended it
But I'm just so alone
And she is the only thing
That has ever really felt like home

I feel like my chest is going to explode
with all the good things you make me feel
I don't think I can find any words
To explain this
other than that I am helpless
when it comes to you

I'd nearly forgotten about you
Two years is a long time when you're so young
Then
You liked that picture
And everything came flooding back

Wow

I ****

they have a boyfriend
and i have a lingering pain in my chest.

I don't know
If my words will be strong enough
to describe how much
I want you

You were so beautiful
so loved
But what have you become ?
What has the seduction of evil made you ?
I can barely recognize my own brother
Years upon years, AN ETERNITY, we spent together
But I do not know this creature who stands before me
This world
The Heavens
Even I
Have nothing more you can take
Yet you still hunger
I fear that now there cannot be any redemption for you
If there was a spark of hope left
Even after all you have done to hurt me
I would kneel before father and grovel for your soul
But I know that my fears are truth
There is no redemption for what you have become
Do you understand?
I am his second in command
Just as you were his first
You cannot come home
And I cannot leave you here to wreak destruction over mankind
I must destroy you
And I pray I cease to exist in the process
For I do not want to live with my brother's blood on my hands

I've been thinking a lot about how many mouths have touched yours lately
and how
mine's not one of them

We only have the rest of our lives
So hold me tight
So hold me tight

you just
you get drunk
and you think you're gonna pour your soul out into sad poems
but you've got no words to explain anything
you've run out of ways to say
"I don't feel anything anymore and I cry all the time and i feel like ****"
so
you just
you get more drunk

I loved them
and you know how i know
because i feel this ignorant tightness in my chest every time i see them
and I feel this pointless emptiness every time i remember they never loved me back

Were those
Your hands
around my neck?
Or was I
choking
On those vicious words
I was dying
to spit at you
and did you see
my tears that fell
when you told me to
"go to hell"
little did you know
I was already there
You were always so self aware
I think that's why
You couldn't
**care

Everything means nothing to me
and
nothing is all i know

You feel like a liar in sheep's clothing
like the husk of someone I never really loved

I am throwing up
and i do not know
if its because
i am sick or
because you made me this way
jealousy retches from my body
but
my diseased mind
will not leave me

My soul is ****** out
Through my soft lips
Down your throat
You seem so content
With it in your posession
I can't bring myself
To ask for it back

My love does not fade
I force it away
I refuse to play
This children's game

In all the Millions of years people have existed
In all the Millions of years they have yet to live
Somehow
Somewhere inbetween
Was us

Out of anything I could have
Why must I want him

I want to scream about how hard I'm trying to surface
even though it feels like the entire world is pushing me down and down

I love you
to the moon
to every planet beyond
the little rock that orbits us
to pluto!
to the next galaxy and the next
to a whole other universe
to a dozen of them
to the edge of time and space
and all the way back to my head
on your chest
where i can hear your heart beating
i love you

I'll be ****** If I let History forget you
Those firey ringlets tucked behind your ear
And those ocean wave eyes
The galaxy of freckles across your shoulders
Your gentle smiles and knowing glances
I could cry to think that some day they may be erased
You'll live on forever in my words
Immortalized forever in my heart
That I've splayed for the world to see

I dont yet
want to define
what we are
with a single word
like
"together"

We are soft
and caring
We hold eachother up
when the other would have fallen
We are within eachother's heart
day and night

That is more than
"together"