everybody always writes about eyes but god they haven't seen anything until they've met her
she has these eyes i know they'd talk about on tv if she was a movie star, i just know it

i'm using your favourite number as a reference again
for explaining why i fell in love
well what can you expect from a boy who sleeps twelve inches under his bed with a fireplace
to rest his head
to be closer to the ground and the sky at the
same time
and some days i'm using your birthday
when people ask me why i talk
the way i do
it's all i can think to say when
it's hard to get words out that don't have some
secret meaning
always leading back to you

sacred and scared

-

*i sound so quiet when i ask you:
"show me what to do,
i just don't know what to do."

somebody softly singing oh my heart, my heart
and i think about falling asleep
i think about nighttime air conditioning and bottled water
baltimore is lulling me to dreamland

i'm thinking about your name and everything i love

i'm lying here half drunk still with you next to me
  
im thinking "god, how can i be here?"
i'm realising that it's you
that your breath pulling your chest up and down isn't a dream

i'm thinking "god, this isn't something i'm wishing?"
you're really here and how could this be anything else.

i'm thinking, "god, this amazing girl."
you're somebody i never wanted to stop figuring out even for a second
and you're here

i'm thinking i want to know you inside out.
i'm thinking about your name and everything i love

there's something about that bed
and the way you talk about it like it's secure
not that i don't wish it was
i wish it was

there's something about how you only breathe smoke
and the way you make it look healthy
not that i don't wish it was
i wish it was

seatbelt clicks felt like a warning more than safety
god's booming voice
yelling i could **** you, i could click my fingers
his hands reaching through the clouds to choke me for sinking when i could swim  
if i wanted to badly enough.
but i can't really feel it anyway

i could feel anything if i let myself
if i wanted to badly enough
i'm lying just outside of a world i could probably face
if i wanted to badly enough.
im a little boy lying under sheets until i feel light and lights hitting little fingertips.
until i want light badly enough