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Kaylee D Mackey Nov 2010
quietly
my piercing eyes
analyze
the inside
of your mind

carefully
they play a round
build you up
tear you down
profound
11.23.2010
Kaylee D Mackey Nov 2010
Medicated
Sedated
Searching for escape

Sit down
Stand up
You cannot evade

Your heart hurts
Your mind screams
But no one seems to care

Your breath chokes
Your hands bleed
But still nobody's there

Search far
Search wide
For something that you need

Pretend face
Pretend smile
Pretend that they don't see
11.22.2010
Kaylee D Mackey Nov 2010
His bright blue eyes shimmer
As he looks into mine
He is a complete stranger
Yet
I feel completely at ease by his side
His lips touch mine
A tender gesture
But what could it mean?
Have I found what I have so long yearned for?
It is evident that we
Together
Are in pure ecstasy
Nobody is around
We are sitting on the third floor
Balcony
No idea where we are
Our eyes meet yet again
As he verbally expresses how
(truly?)
Beautiful I really am
rolling
rolling
rolling

This could be dangerous
However
It could be very beautiful
He takes me home
He just holds me close
Keeps me warm
Throughout the long
Cold night
08.08.2010
Kaylee D Mackey Nov 2010
She’s beautiful.
But not stunning.
She wishes she had more than she does.
But she could survive with less.
(It would probably make her better).
She’s good at settling for less and wearing a mask.

They’ve all “loved” her, for they were too low to realize she wasn’t the best.
However, she has never lied to any of them.
Except one.
Its simple, really; all she had to do was make them believe she lived en amore.
Once she got inside, she talked a good game, for a long while.

Knock, knock.
The sheer look of perpetual amazement overcame all of their faces.
They always let her in.
Chit-chat to her was simply that.
To them: “She talked to me about the weather!”
Excitement.
(Which doesn’t make sense to me, because if anyone else tried to converse about the weather they wouldn’t have it.)

She and they were always “big”; you know, the small-town girl always with people that she is unexpected to be with.
She always let them down.
Hard.
(They fall like dominos.)
She let something silly and casual evolve into something they thought was the biggest and best thing in the world, and she played it off as if she believed that as well.
And then she pulled the rug out from every single one of them, said her choice words, and disappeared.

She’s not touchy-feely, clingy, or insecure.
Independence controls her life.
Everything is organized to a T and while she has few friends, they are real.
Or are they?

She’s not a fence-sitter.
She knows what she wants and she always acquires it.

But in this particular case, she seems to believe that it will be grandiose.
She’ll carry through and carry out.
After she psychoanalyzes the benefits and risks.
Or maybe spontaneity will rule this situation.
She knows it will work, so why not do it?
He’ll fall.
Just like all the rest.
08.26.2010
Kaylee D Mackey Nov 2010
Substance
Its what keeps her hooked
Grasping on to every word for dear life
Because it may slip away if she doesn’t
She searches far and wide
Everywhere
Psychosomatically fabricating that which captivates her
But when she opens her eyes
It all fades away
Substance no longer exists
She won’t find it’s beauty in anything she observes
Even admires
Nothing fills the void
08.26.2010
Kaylee D Mackey Nov 2010
I am outside myself
Indefinite
I'm a puppeteer
Insinuating motivation
For stupid decisions
Manipulation has overtaken
Every aspect put forth from myself
Everything a lie
I never tell the truth
Everyone lies
There is no truth anymore
Much less a need for it
I do it
Don't you?
My life is nothing but
The greatest extremities
Of the definition of deceit

Nothing is good in this world
Not even people
They turn like everyone else
Wrecked
Angry
In desperate attempt
To discover a safehaven
Broken
Searching
And will never find
What they're looking for

Trust
So hard to gain
So easy to lose
So very difficult
The void can never be filled
I tire of fighting
Struggling
Journeying to find my place
I never find new
Pain
Suffering
Walls I built so high
Torn down by something
As mediocre
As unexpected
As a pin drop

I am weak
Please don't **** me
Oh, but they will
Especial words
Designed specifically
Annihilation
Cutting into
Tearing into
The very flesh of my
Invalid being
I do not belong

I'm the old abandoned house
On the street corner
The one that's been there for years
The one you walk by
Without a second thought
Nobody wants to buy me
I'm too tattered and shaken
You don't even look my way anymore
The old doll on the shelf
That no child begs their mother for
Porcelain face
Too fractured
For even the most innocent of souls

*I do not wish to struggle anymore.
I just want this to be over.
08.2010
Kaylee D Mackey Nov 2010
Walls are high
Gates are guarded
Words like spears glistening
In the dusky October sunlight
Preparing for battle

Curiosity
Standby
We are scared
Of ourselves
And eachother

But there is a great force
Drawing us together
As much as we want to hide
Behind fortifications
Ready to fire

We are two magnets
Attracted to one another
Instinctive insecurity built in
Makes it that much harder
To attain eachother

I know that we will speak
But I'm afraid
Of what we will say
The aura bland and neutral
My mind is going crazy
Questions
Predictions
Good or bad?

He opens his mouth
I feel the emotional equivalent
Of hiding my head in my hands
Slow motion
Into my ears
Pour beautiful words

Warm
Stable
Secure
Safe
09.16.2010
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