I wonder what I would have looked like to myself- exhaling- like parting seas, like ancient catacombs creaking open, awakening the dead, like I hadn’t spoken in weeks. It was all rubble…piled over me in the front seat so that I could barely see on the drive home. I tried to hold it together, tried to breathe as deeply as possible, harness the moment, the space between us, let it cohere, let him see the skulls opened, pouring into one another, let him see my lips and skin, naked and timeless, ten- fifteen years from now- he is wearing a beard and soft green- but she, she is beautiful and lovely and far more appealing, and him and I, we sit on opposing sides of the room ten years from now when the walls come crumbling beneath us, and I struggle through the heart of the rubble pile, exiting from the space that used to be a door, quickening my stride and throwing up my hands, strutting now like some swaggering *****, bellowing, “take me universe! I am yours to command, yours to call, I am yours only and yours forever,” with a voice like an inevitable whipping. "I surrender. I give in."