Your approval in ***** situations
the constant complications
between you
between me
between God
living a lie
making it by
with no self respect
I needed your attention
Your constant supervision
to make me feel special
because you were my motivation
my self worth came from you
and what you wanted me to do
but i cant live the lie
that got me by
because the lie that got me by was dry
and worthless
but now,
I can generate it myself
our 'break' gave you temporary pleasure
with the girl who could give you what you wanted
our 'break' gave me eternal understanding
of the demanding
branding
crash landing
reationship that took over my life
I was not strong enough
to see past your penatrating words
that sunk into my heart
'its my fault'
'this is normal'
'im not suppost to care'
care about the **** you put me through
you twisted my life to mold yours.
now your mold is hollow.
So heres just a little thank you.
thank you for showing me how wrong everything was
and giving me the self worth of ****
so i could grow the strength
to accept myself.
i accept myself
long lasting.
The worst part is that you dont see any flaw.
You think your perfect?
you will always be a ****
you will always be vile
you will always be a boy
with a temporary smile

I cant deal with this anymore
I cant be a puppet
moving to her every command
i cant do everything that she wants
only in her benefit.
does she look at other people?
Does she care about others feelings?
no.
she never gives me the chance to explain.
she never lets me in
she never lets me out.
it a continueum of fighting when we are together.
neverending.
like birds in a birdbath with one drop of water
fighting till death.
do us part.
this is mine
no wait that ones yours.
theyre both mine she says.
its all mine she says
truth is
it doesnt matter what i say
wrong or right
this void in my heart that will never be filled with love from my
one and only
sister.
my void is whole and ready to except her
but still she chooses
to ignore
to avoid
to disreguard
my every word in hopes to get her to understand.
this is a simple minded animal with the brain of einstine
feelings mean nothing, theres only room for fact.
this is mine.
no wait that ones yours.
truth is nothing is mine
because it will always be hers.

I feel so free,
Take it from me,
I'm finally the girl I wanted to be.
Stress of my chest,
This feelings the best,
Living life like to the fullest of free.

I'm done.
I'm done with all the commotion,
Nothing is worth this much aggravation.
I give up trying to please, plead, or promise.
Im done living life like this, I'm ready to do this on my own.
I'm ready.