What genius waits until 5 minutes after all my work is completed for the night and THEN sets off the fire alarm? D:<

I'm taking a chance
I'm leaving my shell today

*But will it be worth it?

The knife was too short; it just missed my heart.
Well, that was a reality check.....

I'm sorry
I messed things up....
But I think it's already too late....

Help me*
Nah don't worry about me, how are you?

Some people
Are amazing listeners, following dreams they seem impossible
They may not know what to say
They're very forgiving, cherish them.

Others
Have been hurt so many times, but they
Know the best advice for you
Even if you don't, they're right
Hold them closely, because if you mess up, they may never trust you again

Some are blunt
They can infuriate you
But they're right as well
They're telling you what you need to hear. Heed their words.

Still others are quiet
They're overlooked easily
But they're amazing people
Get to know them, you'll never regret it.

Some are beacons of light
They know just what to say to cheer you up
They are deeply emotional
You need that influence in your life.

Then there are people like me
Who can't see themselves for who they are
Who can't see that it will ever get better
Who need help
who cry themselves to sleep and then have nightmares
Who want to die.
Help these people, when they're happy, you won't regret it.

But in nights like these, when the sun's heat is gone from the air,
These are the times when I tend to fall into complete despair.

You are amazing.
You are kind.
You are pretty/handsome.
You are not without flaws, but that's what makes you, you.
You may feel sad in life, but trust me
Nobody in the world could do a better job being you.
You are creative.
You are nice to be around.
You are not without flaws, but that's what makes you, you.
You may struggle in life, but trust me
Nobody in the world could do a better job being you.

You are a
special
unique
individual

*And that's why you're a wonderful person. Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise.

I have an extraordinarily bad way with words.
And my bad structure has done it again.
-_-

I wonder....will I crack like an egg?
or shatter like glass?
Maybe I'll snap like a twig instead
Or maybe it's none of these
Maybe I'll *make it through.

The most beautiful and perfect thoughts, instances,
Can be, with the right mind, turned into a grimy, mushy slime,
Or lost completely.
The most lovely and flawless sounds,
Can be, with the right ears, twisted into
Unintelligible gibberish and gobbledegook
Or missed completely.
The most divine and impeccable sights
Can be, with the right eyes, morphed into senseless shapes and forms,
Or avoided completely.
They're never kept,
Always lost on me.
I'm a bad game of telephone, a malformed lump of coal once surrounded by others.
Pressure wouldn't settle for anything less than the best out of them.
What works for them breaks for me.
I'm a bad game of telephone.

Clank, Crash, Thud. Machinery. Ever. Working.
Glimmering sparks dance in the gaps between the flames of the metal.
There has never yet been as beautiful a sight as that of infinite possibilities.
And, yet, as it always has, the sparks begin to take a definite shape.
The shape constantly evolves, with five definite points connected to a central.
The gleaming sparks no longer have a mind of their own, and a human shape is clear.
As soon as this is apparent, the sparks vanish as suddenly as they came.


It had been done.


Given the blueprint, machines were able to do something previously thought impossible; Give a hunk of metal life.

DNA had been replaced with binary, muscles replaced with circuits. And yet, it was alive. it was conscious of itself. What a scary and beautiful thing, that wires can replace veins and steel can replace bone.

And yet, as if nothing had happened, the newly formed man stood up, opened a door, and stepped out into the real world.

Still falling
Breathless and on again
Inside today
Beside me today
Around, broken in two
Till your eyes shed
Into dust
Like two strangers
Turning into dust
Till my hand shook
With the way I fear

I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
I could feel myself growing colder
I could feel myself under your fate
Under your fate

It was you
Breathless and tall
I could feel my eyes turning into dust
And two strangers
Turning into dust
Turning into dust

the*                                                             ­        must
     angel                                                          ­      love
          of                                      ­                             the
                wind                                     ­                       sky

                                   ­                          __        
____---------------------                   --------------------

for when                                                     so does the rain
       the wind dances                                          so do the leaves
           so do the clouds                                            and so does the air


the                                                                  for
  angel                                                               win­d's
   of                                                                  ­ path
     wind                                                             winds­
    must                                                              and
   love                                                               twi­sts
  infinity                                                              forever

-------------__-----------------------------­------------------

The angel of wind?                                             I hope she is happy
                            she must be violent             up in the sky
         for tornadoes                                                twisti­ng and churning
                               and cyclones                      I hope the life she brings
     do the earth                                                     through windswept seeds
                             lay bare.                               Grows in her heart.


-----------____--------------------­-------_-_



                                   the angel of wind is one of redemption
--

You're beautiful, but I don't care.
You're smart, but I don't care.
You're talented, but I don't care.
I only care about who you are,
and I love what I see.

Well I've cracked.
All that stress about what would happen
And nothing's different...

Not much can be said
For a teacher who dislikes their job
Who would rather be elsewhere,
Who teach because they ended up doing it
Instead of enjoying it.
For a teacher who dislikes their job
In a way, does not, can not, and should not teach.
They don't teach, because they do not inspire students
They can't teach, because they can't inspire their students
And because they can't inspire their students, they shouldn't teach.

Tear tracks form, as they used to.
Blood seeps out, as it used to do.
This facade couldn't last.
His soul, my soul;
The charred, cracked, screaming remains of it:
Pleads for death.
It has been through Hell and back
My heart trudges on, a tired, weary activity
My lungs wheeze, struggling to perform the most basic tasks
*and why should it have to continue?

In my head
Creativity runs undeterred
Fireworks of words explode
Entire universes collide
But this is all in my head.
Because to get
From the brain
to the hand
to the pen
to the paper
Some things are missed.
Because poetry is a game of telephone
And things are lost in translation.

I couldn't stay
I so very wanted to
But I literally couldn't
And I'm sorry

The school year draws to a close
And I find myself sad that it's over
Not because this was a good year
But because being around friends kept me sane

*I wonder what will happen, then...

There was a purpose to it all. To the man who just missed his taxi in New York, to the young child hopping between rocks deep in a forest, on a bubbling stream. Just as the city pulsed with life, seeping through cracks in the pavement repaired just last week, in the wheels of the taxi driving away and in the man's curse under his breath...
Just as the city pulsed with life, billions of trillions of ideas and thoughts and galaxies in heads thinking about their coworker one cubicle over who mentioned offhandedly to their friend about not having plans this Thursday evening, about whether their mother had remembered to take their medication this morning because she always was forgetting and did she realize how much easier it would be to hire a servant for these things...
Just as the city pulsed with life, as did the forest, a snake slithering between the dancing shadows from the shaking leaves, the child unaware of this impending surprise until the moment of impact, yielding a sharp report and a mad dash for an exit...
So did the forest, birds swooping between branches swaying ever so slightly from the gust caused by the boy's speed, one train of thought, one heartbeat racing to catch up with its feet...
So did the forest, with billions of trillions of thoughts and ideas in heads wondering about whether the snake had bitten him or not, about whether their grandmother had remembered to take her medication this morning because she was oh so forgetful and Daddy did always say they needed a maid since he was always busy and Mommy left...
So did the forest.
Feet flew, wheels sped.
A puppy, patiently waiting by the window, tennis ball in mouth, for her buddies to come home. Her older dog companion had fallen asleep in the wait.
And in these moments, of waiting, all with one destination...they were already together in their minds.

Nothing does.

Wow guys....
Thank you!
I'm not really the best writer, but I appreciate that you take the time to both read my poems and offer feedback :)
That type of stuff is probably one of the only things keeping me going.
Thank you! :)

You.
When I think of you, I think of my happiest memories, as they were all with you, but they never do you justice;
How you could put a smile on my face no matter how down I was, or how you could, with a single kiss, light fireworks in my brain.
How I loved you, and still do.
You brought out the best in me, made me a good person.
You taught me that I should reach out more when I needed help, instead of bottling up (which I still do sometimes). You taught me that there's more to life than games and school.
I love you. Please come back.

How you set my world on fire....
I miss you.
Unlike some people, who love because they need,
I need you because I love you.

And nothing will ever change that.

Music is beautiful.

Music unites so many people, it can also define them.

Music is another universal language.

Music is perfect.

Music has so many different categories. One for everyone.

Music as a whole cannot be justifiably hated.

Music is the reason why some people are still with us.

Music is infinite.

Music is food for the soul.

Music is everything, and yet it is so little.

Music is just notes arranged in an order.

But the order is beautiful.

And, just like a circle (of fifths), we're back to the beginning; music is beautiful.

I miss those nights when we would text till 2.AM.
Where have they gone?
It seems only yesterday I looked at the clock and replied "Whoa it's half-past 2!"
Now you're too busy...

Lonely

Alone

I miss school

I miss my friends

I miss everything

I'm so tired...of it all.

Of life.

It's been 2 days and already I would do many things to be back in school.

*This will be a long summer

Why bother trying so hard?
It's not doing anything....
It's not like anyone pays enough attention to know the difference....

I love your smile that I work so hard to get
I love your eyes that tell me so much when your words tell me so little
I love your hair that flows like silk in the wind (how cliche of me),
And I love your laugh that's musical in tone.

I thought you really cared,
And it broke my heart that you lied,
But life was never exactly fair,
And you don't know how much I've cried.

Now I've even lied to my friends
Of COURSE I'm not happy
Of COURSE I'm still schizophrenic
It's all happening....
I thought if I pretended to be happy
I might actually become happy...
Oh, how desperate and naive I was....

It was the worst kind of death. Not the physical death-no, this was much worse than that.

This was the death of souls. Hopes, lives, dreams, crushed, exterminated, obliterated. It was the death of everything it meant to be human.

Emotions didn't exist. Numbness was an inevitable factor of this horrible place. There was no escape.
They didn't have to worry about escape. No person, no soul, no spirit survived the factory of death.
As all factories do, products were made. In this case, the products were the mindless, numb, empty shells of what were once lively, happy human bodies. Every year was a fresh batch, ripe for a more advanced death factory. There was no reason for it, either. Money ended up being lost for the factories of death. There was no purpose. No escape. No heaven. No hell. Endless purgatory.

Suicide was illegal and impossible, since it was  *a crime to destroy government property.

It is moments such as a sunrise, the beginning of a new day,
That I hope that things will not always have to be this way.

I play the middle party.
Why can't you two be FRIENDS!?
I don't want to be involved in this!
I can't tell who wrong and who's right
But even if I could
I can't say anything or I lose a friend...

Just one message from you, and suddenly 5 years of friendship are rendered virtually meaningless.
*Maybe we just weren't friends in the first place?

It won't get any better.
It will only get worse.

I watch the sun
Paint the horizon
With beautiful colors
What an amazing sight!

Oranges and Reds, Purples and Blues
All in perfect harmony.

I am awed, for a second, at the spectacular beauty of it, and the sun itself

But then I think of your face, and suddenly the sunset is just splashes of boring, dull colors
And I think of your smile
And the sun is suddenly a tiny, dim dot in the sky.

I'm not here for myself.
I'm here for the people who care about me
and for her.
*That might not be motivation enough...

.
.
.
It's lonely here.
The silence is deafening, really.
.
.
.
Can you hear the wind?
Or am I just imagining it?
.
.
...come back...
.
.
.
Is anyone there?
Can anyone hear me?
.
.
…

You say this time will be different
But you never change
You always say this time will be different
But you never change
You endlessly say this time will be different
But you never change.

Like a broken record...
Some things never change.

It'll be okay
It'll be okay
It'll be okay*
That's what I tell myself.
Oh, what a liar I am....

Sorry, could you repeat that honestly this time? My hearing aids have a filter for obvious lies.

I heard about you;
What you've been through
What you go through
And you hide it so well
You somehow find the ability to smile.
I'm scared for you
But I love you
And I want to help you
You're deserving of help *more than anyone I know.

I'm battling with myself
It doesn't help when my friend continually says "Wanna die?"
"Sure!" I say cynically.
Or at least you think it's sarcasm...

To question reality
To see horrible things
That you know in your brain aren't there
But break your heart all the same
Is a fate nobody deserves

*Nobody but me....

Knife?
Check.
Suicide notes?
Check.
Determination?
Check, check, check.

I slide the knife into my chest, smiling.
Blood spills out onto my shirt
But I feel fine!
I wait, but I appear to have missed.

Slowly, I pull the now blood-coated knife out.
Oh well, second time's the charm.

I hear my name called before I can try again

And that's how I'm alive right now.

I couldn't stay
I so very wanted to
But I literally couldn't
And I'm sorry

Why?