This is where it started,
on the basement floor
Everything felt colder and farther away than usual
I couldn't wrap my head around it
You could
And then it moved in to my closet
crept over there on Halloween night
I could hear you breathing heavily for days
I felt it on my neck
I never could shake that feeling
I was pleased once, on my bedroom floor
When I was in control
Thought I understood, something I just couldn't
But you were miserable on the backporch
with a cigarette in mouth
And you still are,
I was drinking chocolate milk.
Then,
in your car,
I didn't want you
or you
or you
or you.
In the pool I was drowning,
but that was my own fault.
I hate to swim.
And then that night I was lonely
and you were home.
But now.
I'm still lonely
and you won't leave me alone.
But you, you were nice.
You wanted to know about me.
And you were fine floating there.
But in August I didn't want you
and now we're both somewhere else.
And by the beach
I met you when I was confused
and it only made things worse.
Crumbling.
Entering college.
I hated myself.
And apparently so did you.
Sometimes I wonder how you are,
when I remember to wonder.
And on your dorm bed, you were nice.
And on his dorm bed, he wasn't.
I wish you didn't find humor in sick things
and eat all of my peanut butter.
Because we almost got along.
Then I fell for your accent
And your blonde hair--
..Oops
And in the bushes
Your friend was throwing up,
I tried to help.
Sorry I took it
but
you took my time.
And under the cold lights,
you were most similar to me
But only from a distance.
And in your room
I don't know why you happened.
But
I know why you did
because,
behind our looks,
were the same things,
waiting to creep out
from the ugly places we shoved them.
You were too tall to really see me.
And
You
You weren't the only one to see me at that show.
You said the complete opposite of what you meant
or maybe you changed your mind.
Either way,
I liked you better with your eyes on the ground.
On the elevator,
I just wanted you to shut up.
With paint on our faces,
Your art seemed more impressive from afar
Guess I got too close.
And you,
in the car,
in the diner,
in the field,
on the playground,
in the tree house,
on the deck,
in the passenger seat,
in my yard,
on the bench,
at the show,
by the stage,
in my arms,
in his backyard,
on the street,
in his kitchen,
on the hammock,
on my bed,
on my bed,
on my floor,
on my mind,
on my mind,
in your mind,
you're the only one.
the rest were to forget you.
on your couch,
on your roof,
on your bed,
on her bed.
and now there's only me,
some of me,
at least.