The silence is consuming me,
frozen in time;
screaming deafening tones,
trapped forever within this tomb.
The silence makes itself seen.
A breathing piece of mind.
A beating heart of stone,
From a sadistic mother's womb
It needs to end.
This silence within me.
Always stubborn,  always questioning.
Shaking these walls.
Something to mend.
To soak while i bleed.
A single sound, just what i need.
Not too loud, just bordering,
Between barely there and deafening.
Something so easy and terribly small.
How can it be impossible at all?
It is time to heal,
to become whole again.
To stand tall alone and to feel
And break this silence,
break free, be free,
And just as before..
to raise voice once more.

Winter with you is rosy
And not as grey as foretold
To curl up with you and get cosy
You glow from within my soul
Every ticking second holy
And every broken bit whole
Breathe for this moment only
And bleed it onto a sacred scroll
Even as winter makes us feel lonely
We are never really alone
Indulge in your energy slowly
Taking me over from skin to bone
Winter....with you
let it be known
Is coloured rose
and very new

Stir...stir around the last of the winter leafs
and rest one at my feet.
It is here, in the dark of morning that everything is raw and truly seen.
It is hard to believe that anything exists beyond this,
silenced reality, nocturnal bliss.
Living in the head becomes living outside,
till the sun comes up and draws up the blinds.
My soul dies a tiny death;
daylight takes a glorious breath
and I wait.
Even though always in time,  
almost always too late.   
A mirror to the sky,
another beautiful mistake.  
A sigh that screams
like broken dreams -
 'That’s what I’ll do if that’s what it takes'
Not totally alive,
but afraid I might die of all the suppressed why’s. 
The haunting roads not taken...
I must have been mistaken...
maybe not...
once or twice
but I couldn’t find my mind!
It's always been here,
at times a little hazy inside...
saved usually by the light of moon;
crystal clarity in a coin shaped cocoon.

Rain.. everywhere..
Breath like tiny vapors in the air
Just like escaping the arc of sleep
To end up where dreams and pathways meet
And just before I plunge, I leave
to the deepest delusions ever perceived
But so indisputably real
That it makes sense of the way I feel
Floating, median minded reality stretches out
to hinder time and point every heartbeat out
the numb sensation of doubt
until it echoes out loud
mimic the atmosphere of your air
and splashing everywhere,
rain everywhere
-soaking socks-
And dripping hair!
It just keeps pouring at me!
but you are nowhere,
you are not seen,
nor are you heard
you are felt, which is awfully absurd
seeing as all that lives here breathe
the phantom of your memories
it’s like you are behind me
It’s like you are in the trees
It’s like you are the wind
Inside of me…
You are the melody

(This is for you, my Wizard)

You'll probably end up not reading this
Because I'll probably end up not giving this
and remember-i just have a funny way of saying it
Because you have a funny way of taking it

Afraid of these impulses to which i so easily subside
and that sweetened flow of satisfaction inside
through every cell in my body each time
that makes it impossible to look away next time....

The destructive behavior...as if...
my body...will last...the eternal gift
or maybe just a slow suicide,
maybe just a muted inner cry.
Who knows?
Each unto his own i suppose

i beg my thought infested head
to not pin me to my sweat infused bed.
Sleepless nights!!
Ever such a delight
to run through the empty streets of my mind,
and beg these thoughts to let them be tied!
(As if i don't need the rest, thank you Sarcasm, but do you mind?)

...leaving me hunting the possibilities by rays of moonlight
or candlelight alike-
Secretly knowing that there HAS TO BE A WAY IN
NEVER finding it-always ending up where I'm supposed to begin
There are so many hints and clues
-all of them leading back to centerpiece you

i suppose seeing what i want to see
is easier
than saying what i want to say

but

There was something that forced me into believing that day
that there was something in your eyes that gave you away.

So come to me.

.. you don't have to touch me!
All you have to do is watch me
i just want to show your eyes
how they can color these lines
and fill them up
till the pictures come alive.

Today disappeared
Just left me.
Stupified and choking.
An aftertaste austere
Served in scarlet cashmere
Depleting the atmosphere
Leaving cipher here
But me  and the clear
In some combat severe

Heaving with the desolate
Plummeting free
Intersecting the climate
Benumbing me
Functions seize
I can hardly breathe
And i think to myself
How you'll be relieved
Once you learn
Of my new disease

Soon you will have it all
What you've been fighting for
All that you wanted all along
I wont be here to interfere anymore

Insides gathering
Ever crafty always cunning
Acabar impending
and at last, i find meaning

Life is. Winter personified.
With little teasers of summer and glimpses of spring,
fake empty promises to keep us going...
life is spiteful, and very mean.
Cruel and tempting.
Life carries in its breeze a vibe or something
that sometimes, ALMOST gives us wings...
just to remind us that we have to live on our knees
and that we will ever be suffering.

Life offers us shelter in the dark of night,
where we we cant see anything even if we open our eyes...
and we get used to it,  the charcoal smears that we call life.
The familiarity visible, of what we wear inside.
What wears us out and feeds off our minds.

life is...closed. after all these years of struggling
on the path towards the salvation of our souls.
The gates of fate are the gates of gold
not what we have been told, ever closed
Nothing to look forward to, life renders us old,
outlined by all the shades of scorn.