Numb feels ineptly
Nobody
Nothing
Empty.

Numb has a feeble spirit
Numb is numbing

Numb
******* needy
Numb
It runs swiftly
Flows freely
Numb
approaches the needy
  Ever so quickly.
It thinks of him
And deprives me
Of breathing

Numb watches.
Stares.
It  separates me, isolates.
Numb never cared.  
Makes the bleak confiscate
Everything I hate
It thinks of him
And unnerves my limbs

Numb will find it
I cannot quit
The nowhere is near
Numb brings it here

Watching.
Sickly it's ever wanting
So enchanting
Why is It still alive?
Numb will realise
He must  die

For me to be alive

Numb unfolds
Clamour of a dormant soul
The pleads
The need
Numb ever succeeds

and so you are quiet again.
Playing games.
In your own world inhabited by the tales of the day. It's okay...
I also do not have much to say...

I'm  in a vibe of total craze,
in a crave for a total haze...
i retract into a mute world with a blank face...
a place where nobody knows my name
so make believe i should be ashamed.

The dark graces me with comfort in a dark blue shade...
it falls around me and takes all the pain away.
All the melancholy for which i find no blame.
All the insecurities that drive me insane.
This lousy life, what monotonous game.

you are silence.
unless you want to speak
you are absence
it renders me so weak

you are avoidance
my desolation breeds
for you to water my dreary seeds
and you don't even observe
how you restrain my nerves

cold and still
you weaken my will
my soul falls ill
not healing until
you give in to the thrill
of not wanting to be alone
and you slice me to the bones

and all over again
my reality is blurred
confusion, moments ago slain
cries of  slaughtered isolation heard
only to  retort, only to return
cycle of hunger &  wanting, i yearn
growing bleak from your unconcern

needing, not receiving enough
aching for that deeper touch
needing anything, needing too much
because of nothing, eagerness as such
i will stop melting, and find a way
to become a part of your grey

just  like me to keep hoping
that maybe you'll come around
nurturing wishful thinking
keeps my feet on the ground
I remain intact  by knowing
that somebody  thinks of me
keep warm up in these memories
and find warmth  in my misery
Too many broken moments
Gudgeon of bereavement
None of these troubles spoken
My secluded achievement
While it wont make sense
Where my passion went
ask yourself if You had part
Of killing my ardor from the start
Destroying my being like some personal war
Changing me, scar for scar
Sternly going way too far, so far
That you made me your mirror of art

Where are you?
For you're not here with me
Who cares if we're under the same roof,
You are nowhere to be seem

Hiding..
Im swallowing
My needs
You amplifying the emptiness within

So much for caring
And being there for me

Hiding...

Your voice dies silently
The remains still echoing
The hollow, resounding
So satisfying
It's probably showing
Wondering distantly
Yet never knowing
Anger, instantly
Distance growing

Where are you?
Hiding.

Mastering
the skill
Of amplifying the blankness i see
It must be your will
Still,
i look forward to painting
With plentiful colours of hurt
As i layer them over and believe
That they clean away this dirt

Convincing myself that we will be fine
By faith if not by design
This confusion of glass,
Has understanding come to pass?

Difficult to escape my head,
So many shatters shed
As i struggle through alone
And beat upon your being of stone

How i pray for the day
When this will go away
Trying not to hate the game,
Knowing we will never again be the same

Trying to get used to the shadow
Of the you that i used to know
Detaching from my fragile soul
As this cruel world swallows me whole

Trying not to hate the sound
Of how unstable my heart pounds
Trying to overcome the way
That I do not know what to say

Making art out of the pain
And the way it always leaves a stain.

If the last time you saw me
Had been this morning
Would you have gone about it differently?
Would you have changed anything?

Well I'm still here, waiting.
For you to say something.

I despise your way.
Cold. Everyday the same day.
Never anything to say.
Like you'd be untouched if it all fell away.

Are you  ever really alive?
do you prefer to be insipid all the time
Like you cannot let me be your delight
or allow yourself to sink into what's mine...

Like showing feeling is a punishable crime

But i must be out of line
Because you cannot be satisfied
You are pure stone winter inside
How many times have you died?

I despise your way.
How it leads me astray.

Charmingly radiating
Your flame, so stimulating
Just like all the shades of red
A Force of life flowing through me
Which without, i would be dead

I find it amusing
How you pulse within
You are my heartbeat,
My sacred harmony,
my soul's violin

I find you so soothing
my spirit's melody
Swallowing me
With the chorus that your eyes sing
As they are searching,
And pierce right into me

My source of vitality
You are life, absolutely!
As you walk with integrity
And live entirely,
Opening up to me
properly, and seriously
Unlike anybody previously
Trying me to insanity

As you become my new reality
And dive into me cautiously
Wrapping me in security
Awakening all that's necessary
I will burn with you sincerely

As you are radiating, charmingly
I begin  to love you, literally

You are tranquility
My one and only
And i pray that , obviously
I will walk with you eternally