There's still a war inside of my mind,
and it just won't subside.

I hope to god
when you look at the red bruise
on your arm
you think of me.

And I dream of
us again.

I don't have a father,
can I at least have a mother?

Will it happen again?

i don't know how i will heal this time

And just like that,
another friend down the drain.
I did nothing to make you hate me,
but it is what it is...

right?

I can't write about love.
I simply don't know how.
Sad things are my specialty.
I just wish I could form words about you.

i know why no one will ever love me or want me.
It's not hard to decipher.
i'm easy to leave and forget,
and you're the reason i know that now.

i feel unwanted and numb.

I've never shaken with fury before.

What's happened to me?

I actually care about what people think.
I care about popularity.
I want the football players to like me.

I've lost sight as to what's true.
I'm not myself anymore.

Who am I?

it was always you,
and has always been you.

you may have lost her,
but you got me back.

I hate everything that we've become.

"There's more to that relationship, huh?"
My dearest grandmother,
I wish I could tell you the answer
to that question,
but I don't even know.

the more i cry for help,
the more stupid i feel.

Her beauty aligns with the stars in the sky.

the calm
after the storm.

and you make me feel so vulnerable.

You turned me into someone
I never strived
to be.

SHE'S IN MY ******* BLOOD.

I want to die.
I hate living.
I actually want to **** myself,
not just not exist.
I want my life to end on my own terms,
and I feel that it will.


                                     Oh ****, it's getting bad again.

When I almost downed that bottle of pills,
I didn't stop and think that in the future I would have someone as great as you.

It's almost been a year since the last time I starved myself,
and I think it's time to cut back on the food again.

My ears can't handle anymore yelling,
my eyes can't take anymore blood,
and my mind can't take anymore failure.

It's 5 am and I can't sleep,
because your face is haunting my dreams.

i wonder if you could ever love me again.

I can't sleep.
It's because of you.

if you don't care,
i don't care.

touching you today was the hardest thing ive had to do in years,
just because i know im not yours to ever touch.

could you ever love me the same way you did
those few years ago?

That day I fell in love with the taste of your lips.

And then I realized,
you don't even care about me anymore.

I just wanna **** his ****.

I blame myself
for what you do to
yourself.

I've been getting attached to useless boys,
falling in love as each day goes by.
I'm not true to myself anymore.
I'm lost,
and I don't know if I want to be found.

I've reread your message for days,
but I don't think I can bring myself to reply.

You don't seem real anymore.

He's beautiful,
but he's not mine to touch.

I have love on my mind,
and a body that's always next to mine.
I'm still having those thoughts
that turn into huge knot.
My scars are starting to be mended,
oh, how I thought it had ended.

There's a burning in my chest,
and it doesn't seem to fade.
This sense of loss and confusion,
it damages my brain.
My soul yearns for the path,
but nothing seems to appear.
I remember when I didn't feel like this.
Oh God,
how I wish it would disappear.

If I had a choice of how to die,
I'd chose for it to be on my own terms.

Could we ever be together?

You promised me forever.

When did forever become never?