I've dreamed of you every night
since then.

I hope to god
when you look at the red bruise
on your arm
you think of me.

There's still a war inside of my mind,
and it just won't subside.

I can't write about love.
I simply don't know how.
Sad things are my specialty.
I just wish I could form words about you.

Will it happen again?

i know why no one will ever love me or want me.
It's not hard to decipher.
i'm easy to leave and forget,
and you're the reason i know that now.

I'M BEGINNING TO LIKE THE FACT I'M DRAGGING MYSELF INTO ANOTHER BLACK HOLE WITH NEW WAYS OF DESTROYING MYSELF.


I THINK I'M SICK.

i don't know how i will heal this time

I've never shaken with fury before.

What's happened to me?

I actually care about what people think.
I care about popularity.
I want the football players to like me.

I've lost sight as to what's true.
I'm not myself anymore.

Who am I?

i feel unwanted and numb.

it was always you,
and has always been you.

And just like that,
another friend down the drain.
I did nothing to make you hate me,
but it is what it is...

right?

Her beauty aligns with the stars in the sky.

you may have lost her,
but you got me back.

When I almost downed that bottle of pills,
I didn't stop and think that in the future I would have someone as great as you.

I want to die.
I hate living.
I actually want to **** myself,
not just not exist.
I want my life to end on my own terms,
and I feel that it will.


                                     Oh ****, it's getting bad again.

and you make me feel so vulnerable.

"There's more to that relationship, huh?"
My dearest grandmother,
I wish I could tell you the answer
to that question,
but I don't even know.

I hate everything that we've become.

SHE'S IN MY ******* BLOOD.

the more i cry for help,
the more stupid i feel.

the calm
after the storm.

It's almost been a year since the last time I starved myself,
and I think it's time to cut back on the food again.

It's 5 am and I can't sleep,
because your face is haunting my dreams.

touching you today was the hardest thing ive had to do in years,
just because i know im not yours to ever touch.

My ears can't handle anymore yelling,
my eyes can't take anymore blood,
and my mind can't take anymore failure.

You turned me into someone
I never strived
to be.

That day I fell in love with the taste of your lips.

i wonder if you could ever love me again.

could you ever love me the same way you did
those few years ago?

I can't sleep.
It's because of you.

I blame myself
for what you do to
yourself.

And then I realized,
you don't even care about me anymore.

There's a burning in my chest,
and it doesn't seem to fade.
This sense of loss and confusion,
it damages my brain.
My soul yearns for the path,
but nothing seems to appear.
I remember when I didn't feel like this.
Oh God,
how I wish it would disappear.

I just wanna **** his ****.

Could we ever be together?

I've been getting attached to useless boys,
falling in love as each day goes by.
I'm not true to myself anymore.
I'm lost,
and I don't know if I want to be found.

You promised me forever.

When did forever become never?

I have love on my mind,
and a body that's always next to mine.
I'm still having those thoughts
that turn into huge knot.
My scars are starting to be mended,
oh, how I thought it had ended.

if you don't care,
i don't care.

You don't seem real anymore.

He's beautiful,
but he's not mine to touch.

I HATE EVERYTHING I'VE BECOME AND WHAT UPSETS ME IS THERE'S NO WAY I CAN CHANGE IT.

I've reread your message for days,
but I don't think I can bring myself to reply.