As I was driving down the road the other day, headlights switched right on
I realised what I saw… darkness… the inevitable truth
I cannot see the light, for it has gone, taken flight!
As I was wondering why so dark, I realised I was lost, lost in a world of blaming storms and oceans of terrible sadness
The gladness has faded… slowly away and away and further away it went
The more I thought about it, the more I saw of darkness turning into grasslands of frustrations rather than rivers of inspirations
With my head in my hands, sitting on the floor, I keep asking myself “where am i?”
“But no!” I said thinking out loud, talking to myself knowing that my path is destructive to everyone and everything in it
“How can this be all to life? My Life? I will not accept this fate!” and I made a conscious decision of revision, revising my life and the darkness that ruled it by day and by night
Pestering my thoughts, pounding away in my mind taking over my way of what I want my life to be about, I pushed it all away!
And slowly as the minutes, the hours and the days gone by, I saw the light returning
I grasped it fast with both arms and held it close for I can see again, breathe again and inspire and be inspired again
Oh the way I laugh today from relief and pure joy as my trouble have been let go!  
And let me tell you this my friend, worry no more for earthly things and blame yourself a little less or not at all at best
Appreciate the small special things and keep your eyes wide open for times are getting shorter and life more rewarding and extraordinary as you are
~Thank you for reading my story~

My heart cries out to thee oh God, my fears ended up in tears.
The years have come and gone, taking my faith away for so long.
Trying to control it all myself, humanity took over my sanity and left me all alone.
Literally going from one thought to the other,  trying to save myself from pain.
I kept falling deeper and deeper, much further away from grace.
From deep within my heart I hear you calling: “Come unto Me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and i will give you rest”.
But my burdens are so heavy too much to bear, how can i walk to You without falling over every possible snare?
Then one day You came to me touching my heart with grace - oh my God my burdens were lifted and into your arms you raised me up, holding me close wiping my tears from my very eyes.
Its over and the battle is won! Grace has been restored beyond measure.
Faith is a substance of things not seen so keep holding onto yours until you see the glory of what it will bring.
2018-04-22

So ver ek loop ruik ek die droogte, die son se gebak, maar ja  ek loop met gemak, al vinniger en vinniger die pad langs.
My droom het waar geword om n ver pad langs te stap en te gesels, met wie anders as met myself, die wind, die vertes en die mindere gebergtes.
Die wind waai om my heen, dit kreun en steun, maar dit leen my n tyd vir alleen wees in my gedagtes, ag daar is net geen klagtes.
Soos ek stap lag ek klip hard want my hart voel so vry, so vry soos die wind wat my verby kry.
Dan haal ek die wind weer in en sing n lied van blydskap teenoor my Heer, my dapper Held en stap Maat.
Soos die dae verby gaan en die vertes nader kom, verstom ek my aan my hart se gejubel van blydskap en geluk.
My hart is vry so ver soos die oog kan sien, ek loop in vreugde en gemak, dag na dag  in n natuur so hard maar tog so sag.
My hart smag na my liefde, die maat van my lewe, so ewe te vroeg weg gevat, maar stap, stap hy saam en ons hou net aan en aan tot ons weer by mekaar gaan staan in n veld van omhelsing en blye verwelkoming, hand aan hand net aan die Anderkant.
Ja my hart is vry so ver soos die oog kan bedui.....
2017-11-08

DOWN the river she went, wishing she could see passed the bend. So much time spent on wondering where it went.
Happiness, aaah, it was in her grasp, but life sent a path leaving only memories behind.
Where to now, she wondered, where will the river take me?
The river had a voice alas it spoke and took her boat of life and guided her... to sill waters where peace is released.
All in good time the river said.
Have faith in life that chases away all your sorrows and flows back happiness, but all in good time. **

What makes the heart to wonder? I wonder...
Walking through the streets of life, my life walks before me.
Before me stretched out is my life about to unfold the old and the new, the screws and the bruises, the weakness and the speechlessness of where i am and why I decided to take certain paths.
My heart takes a journey of wonder through the streets of my life, like a train flowing through a terrain of green pastures and mountain vastness.
Where will the tracks end, maybe just around the bend or maybe no end?
So my heart keeps wondering, wondering and listening to the glistening of joys to come on a path to vast and wonderful pastures of healing and belonging.

As the sun was rising earlier today I looked at the sky and wondered why time flies by and where it goes and who might know...
Then i thought of my friends and wondered where time had gone and what was spent to get to now and realise yet that I don't get to choose what i want or want to loose, but I choose to say... right away that friends are meant to stay close by in our hearts always.

Pushing others away is your way of saying "I'm okay in my own way".
Let me build a box around me letting someone in only when things are getting lonely or maybe when i need advice to carry on on my own.
Let me make a friend, getting to know her end to end just to let her be alone through time watching wondering where the friendships gone.
In a haze I'm amazed with a heavy heart to see our friendship falling apart, yet little glimpses of hope arises when I'm thanked for being the friend who sees and understands, who supports and comforts.
How am i to understand where i stand?
Just let me be and i shall feel a little better in the end i hope...