i dreamt
of you again

we were in bed
our bed
our home

and you looked at me with a light in your eyes
that woke me from exhaustion
you touched my face in a way
that proved I'd always be yours

Naked you are simple as one of your hands;
Smooth, earthy, small, transparent, round.
You've moon-lines, apple pathways
Naked you are slender as a naked grain of wheat.

Naked you are blue as a night in Cuba;
You've vines and stars in your hair.
Naked you are spacious and yellow
As summer in a golden church.

Naked you are tiny as one of your nails;
Curved, subtle, rosy, till the day is born
And you withdraw to the underground world.

As if down a long tunnel of clothing and of chores;
Your clear light dims, gets dressed, drops its leaves,
And becomes a naked hand again.

For once I'd like to sleep next to you instead of my phone
Feel the rhythm of your breath instead of the vibration of a text
I could watch you in your sleep
Your peaceful silhouette with the faintest streaks of light draped over you, just enough so that I can  make out your face
It is not harsh like the blinding light of my phone when I open your message at 4am wishing that i had gotten back to you sooner

Because I think about all the moments I didn't reach you in time and what id do to have the opportunity back
To fill every moment that I spent missing you with a memory we can both share

sleeping with you is the only way I can sleep and even then I still miss you
hearing, seeing and feeling you, I know you're not just a dream

Your words
Are your gentle lips on my cheek
Your stare
Is that of Gods on the first day of creation
Your embrace
Is the home I never had

It was spiritual
The way you brought my hands behind my back
Like I was praying to some kind of backwards god
Brainwashed by confused religion
But you kissed me so good
That I prayed to a God that solely existed for me

I prayed to you
I prayed for us

it's one thing to not believe in forever
I leave that up to the optimists
that's something they look forward too
because it's not as realistic for some to believe in an 'always' as it is for others
but that doesn't mean we can't believe in today
and so I'll tell you today
that I'm looking forward to tomorrow
indefinitely

i read a conversation we had one year ago to date
and i broke a little because things are not what they used to be
and i wondered if by this time next year
we will even speak to each other at all