Outside the wind strikes up an angry storm
The door falls to it's knees
Faltering
to it's ferocity
"I almost died you know...the pills were all I had ya know"

The bottom sways and the ceiling drips with the flood of a thousand sentences each picked from a
different bag
"The baby, she fine, but, she deserve better"

God bless her heart
Eyes meet
Sharply
Recklessly,
the way Destiny always takes
that one corner
too fast too soon
when we're driving pas the Orange Groves
orange blur
******
before I even had a chance to smell
their elixir
Tongue sways out sloppily
It's okay...it's okay

I go outside to reach
to perhaps
feel
something a little more dangerous
then the doldrums of the same wall
same
tree
same
trash that piles beneath my boots
I'm met
with
growls

Hand shakes loaded with dice
maybe blood
or maybe some fur
Hot
sweat dice
rolling between my fingers
I never smelled those blossoms
Not once
The wind beats at me with it's
own finicky retort
"I was dyin in the hospital, ya know
mah leg was ripped up,
and those pills,
were It man
they were It
man"

The dice slide out of my slippery palms
I'm rewarded with snake eyes and whimpers
the Wind finally dies underneath the fields of your hair
Smoke hits the wall
and curls in and out of your pink daggers

"My baby, she ain't dead, I thank god every day for that
Bless Her tiny heart"

Pink daggers with one triangular eye
resting atop your
bleeding stomach
A perfect red river makes it's way
down your
long fleshy arms
covering the dice that sit loyally
aside your shadow
the dice that
Permanently  remains on
the
Snake Eyes
that never blink

"I thank god every day"

I treaded through the snow
Lost no limbs
Heart thumping to the tempo of my feet
Step after step
My eyes as frozen as the foreboding tundra ahead of me
I stopped suddenly,
Eerily,
Legs stiffened like
The sporadic pale wheat stalks
growing fruitfully across my neck
I looked around
and suddenly found myself on the other side
ravished
with the devastation that the
Winder ruthlessly spread
using it's red nose
and
trembling fingers
Black solar eclipse
eyes
Pulsating
in and out
Teasing
time
Altering
Space and the earth and
your carnivorous smile your
red vine
lips
rosy cheeks blazing
with
temptation
the
red apple
the
cooing
goosebumps erupting on your
forearms
from the
devils
careful finger work
I thought it was intimacy
but it was only a
touch without thought
without feeling
without a
future
or
past
Some
moment that stood out
amongst the millions of others
that
lit up your Christmas trees
and
held your hand when you were sick
Said
the
I love you's
over and over
until my
Heart
was full
and
disgusted
over and over
Until I felt my stomach disintegrating
into soil that
can never be
fertile
for You
or Them
It's a
patch in a quilt that stays face down
cold and muddled
on the bed that
no human body
except yours
can sleep in
I see you,
trying to,
interpret the
tail coats of my words when you can't even find their source
Bathroom stalls
coated with my
guilt
Two flushes
hand washing
Thorough
You're
Thorough You
pick up your purse
the clink of the
gold chain
slaps the floor
You exit through the door
I'm
sweating profusely
and I
pray that if I fall down and onto the murky salmon tile it's only when I hear the faded clunk of your heels making their way down the hallway
Give me some god ****** dignity

gone

The god ****** dignity
you washed into the sink that
sits in front of my
mauve plastic bubble
just to
mock me

Salmon pink tile
that kissed the
fangs of a thousand vicious hees
Dead
in an era I wasn't even born into

The sun is in my hands and I have no more feelings

I think I put forth my best foot
And in the ***** puddles of agitation
I walked forth
Sputtering specks of dirt all over my jeans spotless canvas

I think I moved past the winds hollow tunnel of ghastly wailing
I let it bat at my ears
Relentlessly
Until it tired out
Not me
Until it tired out

The purple plums frigid and somber
A scribble amongst gingerly brushed pastels
Of the sky’s fluffy puffery
Pompous
I’m judging you
I’m sickened by the color that’s in these liquor store roses
Liquor store flushed face
Rosy
Scarlet
Torn
And worn
God and
alive
maybe
Something like a bulb in a broom closet
In some uncanny basement
Creaky stairs
Creepy stares
Of an entity that’s ever-present behind your lame back
Curvature stuck, eel spine, ocean swine
Smells’ that burn your nostrils’ hairs
I feel those miscreants on the bus
No our eyes won’t meet
They peeled when we reached the infamous fork on the road
The fork we all faced and I didn’t see yours in the tree trunk’s circles
Liquor store arms
Like waves in your buoyant hair
Chipped tooth
Stranger than what you initially thought
Appendages that once moved with your spaghetti string body
You were the only one left
Flinging with no shame all over the dewy grass that now separates us

I’ll destroy everything that’s bright
So that maybe the grey that’s now your face will shine again on  
The canvas of a world now dingy and feeble
Undeserving of the light it took

Plan on holding my hand
I’d endure the wrath of raspy snake tongues and burning bites so you
Can be a little happier today,
My darling

I’d take on every wild creature with yellow
Eyes
Poison on medusas finger
Inside of my brain
I’d shake and shake
Shake and shake
The sky a vibrating landscape of your
Emptiness and no phone calls back
I’d shake amongst the choreographed reeds
And die
Die for you
My darling

And if it isn’t enough
I’m sorry I made a bad estimate
Of what was in the jar
If it wasn’t enough
I’d find a way underneath the windowsill glued tight with the obstinate no’s and the moons idle hands moth cadavers and fits of frostbite blues
Inside of your room where no sound bold sunflowers pink sundresses the incessant chitter chatter of chastising chumps ever finds it’s way into your abode of sadness my
Darling
I’d brush the rectangular flesh that sits gracefully, sadly, atop your
Handsome cheek
and
I’d kiss you my darling until
Death discovers my sheets cold and
The devil flushes with purple rage

Sleepy daze
Lilac light
Bright
In Deaths Valley where purple petals and purple lips
Part at the touch of His skeleton key finger
That turn chests wide open
To release souls from their broken captors
Dissipate
Not even a firework show for good effort

Eyes wide open and I see everything you can’t seem to say with purple lips so cold and frightened
There’s a thousand white dots and a thousand sound layers beneath the color
Endless
The red veins floating amidst your token bad eye staring straight into the ceiling fan
As if it’s going to lift you up, spin your brain
And attempt to unjumble the jigsaw puzzle of different words and phrases and opinions
That pollute you
Uproot what you’ve known to be true
Since your slate was paved
Since your fingers touched the invisible air
Of unwritten possibility
The wall is grey
The lilac sits on your chest
Its purple and I’m as blue as the deepest corner of the skies rocket ship neck
That crevice fingers pet to coo goosebumps out from their nervous cells  
Where I’m hidden
And quiet quiet quiet
Don’t part your purple lips
I’m hidden

Your fingers graze the bed
Like it’s planning on plotting seeds
That will hopefully grow
And I’m alive I’m a life I’m enlightened
I’m not growing you said
I’m crooked you said
I’m not well rested you said
And the lilac sits alone in your bedside garden
Where no other plants dare to sprout
And your hands turn into stray roots
That weigh heavy like limp corn stalks
Frayed at the edges as they approach your ghastly cemetery
And all I can say is I’m sorry
Futile words from purple lips that Death doesn’t silence but caresses
With his skeleton key finger
Pursing them into a tight grip
That lets you know but doesn’t let you go

I’m sorry

Stick around
Shucks shucks
Long necks like water pipes
You spout words I like
Words I like

The bench we sit on can’t hold our excitement
Our legs like jackhammers
****** wildly
And there’s no switch to turn them on or off
Our word centipede crawls into our butterfly bellies our
Awkwardly loud laughter
Fuels our one way-two-way train wreck
You’re funny
I like it
I like it

I’m twisting my wire pipe fingers into
Infinite loops
I won’t stop
Because there’s no clocks in our world
They only tick away for legs
Straight and solid like enslaved cement blocks that sway
Only when forced by the machines they’re trapped between
The machines that
Won’t let them stop moving
And we’re breathing
Breath as fluid and exact as the clocks that don’t exist
Between our bodies so fitting

I think gosh gee
I think
If I could
I’d tell you it’s okay to sit closer
And the sun wouldn’t be the only burning
Gem in this world
Ill float upstairs with you
And the overhead light of your staircase wouldn’t be the only bulb burning bright and bold
The mattress a pseudo pool
Of fierce waters
And shallow rivets
Hearts inside clamshells
That peak out
Hesitantly
From salty sweat erupting from jackhammer limbs
Invigorating
Tell me you mean it
My taste buds sting with your coat
Of dangerous bumpy roads
And car sick groans and moans
My head hits the window and then your shoulder blade
And lastly the front seat
Drive me away
No
Drive me home
Drive me straight into this pit of broken glass and wrecked car doors
****** specks against cracked windows
The cracked sunroof fills with debris
Blundering amongst a whirl of unexpected destruction
and the eyes remain glossy and indifferent
Where star dust and bellowing wolves
Sink silently
Glare slovenly with laser beam vision
Sneering
Sniffing for a heartbeat lightening bolt
Shiny pearly whites
Against
Rusty stained gums
Hurdling into each other with irrevocable force
Beneath the corset of Athena’s bloated body
Where babies curl underneath to go die
They bleed ****** blotches unto bruised blisters, bleak and bolted tight
By warrior instincts now
Infantile, fetal
Caused by the men who tore off more then they could chew
Chosen like a useless card in a mismatched deck
No second thoughts I said
Why me
I said why me
Floating into your room
I’m a piece of furniture
A lamp a chair your headboard beating fiercely against your brittle wall
You look at me with double vision while my eyelashes remain speckled with the tears of
Spotty speeches and surly surfing
Amongst warm waves of love god would be jealous of
I’ll say it again
Tell me you mean it

I don’t care if I’m thrown into the sea
It’ll be less rough on my aching feet
Running in all directions amongst claw shaped branches
Hooking into my flesh whenever I make a wrong turn
This forest isn’t peaceful
No,
It’ll sabotage you with every step you take
Barbaric
Agonizing
Clutter
Fearless creatures lurking around every corner
Constant target
The wolves hunched over
Hungry eyes
White teeth glowing like a knife underneath a sliver of light
That I’m always drawn too
In that eerie kitchen
Where those hands
Veiny
Pulsating with agonizing temptation
Rip my guts apart
And lay me to bleed all over my stupidity
I’ll always wake up alive
In the blackest part of the forest
Where the owls dare not fly
Where I always end up
I’ll look straight into the moon
It’s distant luminescence
Straight into those glazed eyes
Those shining stars
Looking upon me
I’ll protest
“I always try to stay on the path!”
Path
Right path
What path?
I’ll always hear them tell me
What I’m supposed to do!
What I need to do!
What you’ve told me to do!
Bee in my eye
Branch up my back
Thistles amongst my feet
Yeah,
What path?
I long to be amongst the waters soothing caress
Drifting
Waiting for the seas salty waters to heal me
The sloshy monotony
Back and forth through an infinite roller-coaster where every wave is just as the next
I fold my hands and let my tomb’s silence speak everything that manic forest chose to swallow