im braless in my white t-shirt
you can see all of me
even down to my rigid ****** sticking
out so apparently
i see their shocked faces as they take in
the sight of me
am i shocking enough that my ******* aren't covered up
do i shake the very floor you stand on with my indecency
I dont cover my exposed ******* or the ****** that
pokes its head out to see its surroundings
do i make these grown men uncomfortable
with my body that has curves over her dimes
these men that catcall on a daily are scared
of a women with no bra to cover a simple ******
oh how men rattle my brain with their selected
intake on a woman’s body
how they take us apart with their knives
Cut us apart like we are there for their dissection
im just a woman letting my body be free from
a mens gaze that they think can haunt me
me being braless isn't a step to regain
Freedom from their sleepy gazes
but it’s a step in being a woman
with a bra constraining mens faces

have you ever wore a mood ring
I heard it describes your emotions
when you, yourself can not pull through
it has beautiful colors of blue, pink, purple
it all reminds me of the colors you made me
feel when I was with you, because you were
the ring I wore on my finger that calmed me
down when I wasn't feeling too sober
you are the mood ring that brings out
all the colors inside me to make them
look as beautiful as they do, to where
they'll never wear off and will always be
beside me on the ring finger where you
were supposed to be but instead I have
my mood ring placed there

I am the moon child
that drips herself
in the beams of gold
while the stars hover
over me in a
forest made of earth
spread my nature on
your barren chest
let the moon cloud
you in eternal dust
as bliss holds you
to the arms of the moon

why can men have ***
and not be called a *****
but when my virginity dies
and dies and dies
I'm considered one of those girls
who's tainted by other men who
they suddenly scored
im not a *****
not to myself at least
you can call my virginity dead
but she still belongs to me

I wonder what you look like naked
when all your colors are shaded off you
when your curiosity peaks on who the real you leaks
out into the floor for everyone’s looks to behold
the curve of your body outlined in shyness
as we all stare intrigued
your silhouette dancing on edge barley making
an escape out of the body she's entrapped in
your skittered face that blushes apple red
bowing down your head to a world that overlooks you
I wonder what you look like naked when all your trust
is brushed on a canvas that each stroke brings you
another misfortune
you're so beautiful yet so terribly broken
just a silhouette in the wrong person
you're beautiful naked

I'd been used before
by guys who would
tell me nothing but sweet lies
just to see my *******
hit the floor as they guided me
to a bed that I'd only see once
these guys would slither my body
in the being of their ***
wring me up to dry as soon as they were done
toss me up and part their way to a new
girl that would hold their ***
I was use to it
because guys only like to tell stories
with their bodies intertwined with mine
and once the story ends there's no sequel
we've ended our story right then and there
as soon as the clothes are back on I'm
looked upon like wasted air
these guys only want me for the use
of one time ***
and it bothers me deep down
but what good is a girl thats been used up

be the orpheus to my eurydice
Love me with your songs that reach a wood nymph
dance ballets around my head with poems strung along
my heartstring that play your ballads
marry me in the woods that gather hush tone songs of
a happily ever after with you my dear orpheus
but when our happy ending doesn't quite reach
a tender heart beat do not fret
just search  the underworld for another chance
to find a joyous love with me
do not turn your head my beloved
for even if you cannot hear my soft footprints
ill always be behind you like a musical note
strung on your harp full of radiant strings
if you do not find love where you seek
you always have me Orpheus to where
our hearts meet in the tender green forest
where two lovers kiss quietly
beloved orpheus i will always be the song
to your beat and the poem to your heart
never stop looking for me in those places
where our connected hearts meet

ill hold my breath
till the day you
say you love me under
hazy horizons that don't
have our names written
in the many skies

I miss the paper cuts
you left on my heart
they cut deep
and left wounds
but my god
I'd always want them from you

if you look at a petal
closely you'll see the creases
just like the ones you've left in me

I made a scrapbook
containing of memories
that lasted an eternity
in the picture of a Polaroid
we were happy as can be
an arm strung over my hip
a smile tugged at the lips
eyes that glided and gazed at me
we were the sun and moon
waving hello as the other one showed
you were my stars that twinkled in
daylight and I was your sky
that made horizons that touched your life
those memories will now forever be
in the picture of a Polaroid
as we cease to exists in this world
that was short lived for the existence
of us two

old pictures of
me and you
surface to my memory
of times where our hands
locked together
our eyes intertwined with each other
our scrunched up noses tickling
like a feather
but those pictures are of a past
that cannot be reached no matter
how hard I try to believe that
you would ever come back to me
these pictures are all I have left of
you with me and it's hard to
throw them out when all
I can do is reminisce about
a past that I cannot touch

I am a Pisces
the water sign
the sign of Neptune
that holds wonders of blue
I am two fish
equaled to one

I love your poetry
but did you see the pen that glistened
that ink felt blood dripped openly
on paper that seemed so endless
You write everything so clearly
but in my mind it shattered everywhere
you should be a poet
but poetry isn't me
I write until dusk kisses dawn sweetly
I stay up nights endless
I stutter for words that seem together perfectly
I love you poetry
but my poetry is never me

I could write a
thousand poems
about you and me
but they'll never
bring you back

**** can go both ways
whether I wear a pretty
little thing or if I
wear sleeves that cover up
my shoulders but when
they decide to cut off my will
strangle me up and cut off my
pretty little wear to where it
hits onto the floor
don't tell me its my fault
that these things happen to us girls
for the things we wear to shield
our bodies from hands that do not belong
do not tell me **** is my fault
for the pretty things I wear

you're like a rainbow to me
you hold everyone's favorite color
even though you don't hold mine
ill still watch you come by

rosy red cheeks
flushed between my knees
cracks in my shoulders
that leave flowers to go through
my back needs to be watered
for my flowers are withered
my legs are no longer roses
that hold red between them
my inner thighs are lacking
your touch that sprouted
lilies in the place you were
my cheeks need landscapes
that fill them with acres
of daisy's that don't seem to
hold back the weeds beyond me
my eyes are the mud with how brown
they reflect against the sun
to fertilize my flowers that grow
within a dead body that wishes
for her youth back
I miss my flowers that are
now just specks of withered
roses intertwined with weeds

I have *** with strangers
Everytime I do I seem to
Always think of just you
I know it's wrong to do
I just wish it was you

Broken glass
stained on white bedsheets
caressing your body in their shards
not letting me close to the touch
of your body that sinks away from mine
it swallows you  
breaking from me
I wish I could touch you
in those bedsheets
you're grasped too tightly
in the shards of glass

skin laced with blooming
petals intertwined with ivory
look at her she's the beauty
I breathe in when she's not looking
I've never seen a statue look so
life like with marble eyes
that travel to mine
she's intertwined with the
ever-growing rose that blooms
from her pale beauty of a body
I wish she was real so I could
touch her but right now
she's so far away from my reach
grasping at air that isn't there
I love her for she is the
most beautiful statue I've ever
seen in this place we call a museum

I wonder what you
think in the shower
as your body is
exposed to the thoughts
your inner mind holds
do you think about the
regret you never spoke to
the cries you never let out
the moments you wish didn't
happen when you didn't
know what to do
when your body is there
naked and vulnerable without
someone there to hold you close
do you wonder this while the
water hits you in places you
swear you'd never let touch
does it make you wonder
of all the things you could
have said but your mouth
didn't let the words come out
is this what your shower is like
in the middle of the night

i slipped out of your white silken sheets quietly
you heard me in my tip toe dancing
suddenly you stirred up in a frantic state staring at me desperately
with a pain waving in your eyes you softly spoke with words tangling side by side
we need a break you muttered under your breath
barley able to understand i started to dress my naked body shaded with vulnerability
i thought you loved me i screamed
your eyes glanced down in a heavy hurry to shield your guilt from me
you told me to leave
and my body stood out of place in a room full of love filled memories
my body trembled in anger
in sadness
In denial
i gathered my things in a quick pace
leaving the bedroom that was filled with things that were made by two
i left your memory in a forgetful place
i left your heart that was half of mine into the back of my mind
for only love from you was replaced with a wretched hate
Those white silken sheets that wrapped our bodies
now wrapped a memory of things i did not want to think
of the things that could of been between us two

I wish how we could have rewritten the stars to
makes two entities last forever until the sun came
up from resting and kissed the moon with white light
beaming in with yellow as the sky opened up
with colors that were hues of blue and pink
oh how we could've been the sky in all of her
untrained beauty
lets rewrite the stars in the sky
tracing them numbly as we position an outcome anew
I just want to be with you
but the sky has another way to say
it's just too soon for you two
I cant place the stars in a new constellation
but maybe if I wait awhile they'll line in
place and ill find you

I hate small talk
maybe thats why I'm so bad at it
because when you cupped my hand
in the warmth of yours I could
feel the small talk coming
I could feel an ending nearing
and because of you I hate small talk
now when people try to make conversation
with someone like me I tend to shy away
from a form of talk that takes me into
the times were I lost you
so I hate small talk and how I compare
it to all those times I loved you
when I have to force myself a simple
hello at someone far away I remember
those times a hello was aimed at me
from the tip of your tongue that
travelled out of your mouth and into mine
small talk is not for a girl like me
who lost so much when she
realized she couldn't speak up
and lost someone like you

ill always smile for you
but never for me

are the stars shining just for me
or are they shining from what used to be

where is the sunset
and when did it come

sometimes the sun will rest
from her spot in the blue sky
and that is when sunshine will break

Mondays
I'd warm a cup of tea
sit down quietly and start to read
I noticed you watching me
from afar your eyes caught mine
and I noticed the sunlight reflect
those light brown eyes
the freckles placed on your
cheeks so perfectly
your messy hair that didn't bother me
I noticed you too actually
sitting there quietly
with a book in hand and a cup of tea

have you ever felt like your
going to cry for hours on end
realizing that you were not enough
the tears feel like an ocean that a
sailboat could sail across on with
no worries to wonder through
because your tears are not ugly
but streams to glide through
they're stained with black
is that maybe mascara
that covers your face thats
already tear stained
and once you cannot cry anymore
it feels like a drought within you
that not even the sailboat can sail through
if theres no more water for us to push through
how ever would we get across to our
tears that lead to acceptance of the past
please don't cry anymore
dont reminisce of a past
that your tears can not last
through anymore pain of the one
you called your lover who
suddenly broke you

don’t drift apart from me
rip me in shreds as you leave
grasping my neck as you yell
at a sky thats already turned to dusk
don’t leave me in the back of your mind
where memories tend to sink
to never regain to the surface as you
swallow them back like a pill with water
don’t let these moments go away from us
they keep us attached like a rope on my neck
thats when to snap when i jump off the ledge
Don’t let me go when you feel like you've had enough
i’m not ready to separate from a being like you
who’s caused me pain and love and happiness
don’t let these tender thoughts that define
both me and you drown in the sea you've composed
with a memory ready to fleet into the dark sea
and as always away from these tender thoughts
that guide you away from me

I had long hair
I cut it so you
wouldn't stare
at the sight you
had me cut

you are my art
but not a sculpture made of marble
you are those paintings that people
pass by not so much in a hurry
but rather to stop and stare
to take insight
of the masterpiece that holds their stare
you are the art that takes breaths away
that demands a paintbrush to draw across
you are the art that even a landscape cannot
peak its flowers through to see the sights of you
you are the art that sings through its paintings
that makes critics cry at such a heart warming sight
when I see you theres only one way to describe you
through art itself cannot contain you
you are the masterpiece that draws me in
the masterpiece that compels an audience to
watch and touch the edges of you
my art is created by your nature of beauty
my art will forever be in your forgiving
hands of an artist who draws you

my beauty, sadly
comes from my hair
it's long and black
and feels of silk
theres so much beauty in my hair
that it scares me to cut it
to put scissors where ends meet
to say goodbye to long locks
of hair that made guys
tugged by their fingertips
onto their sides
my hair is whats beautiful about me
to cut it would be losing that part
that makes people look and say
wow she's beautiful
but to put scissors where my hair
would be cut from me
I'd feel beautiful in my own skin

I am the crinkle in your shirt
that laps over when the iron
can't catch on just right
I smother you in my needs
that you intend to ignore
you can't ignore a wrinkle
in your clothes however
so for you to notice me
ill be just that when you
least need me

I've never recalled you dancing
when your heart sang with mine

July 1st
the day you dumped me
the day I found out
soulmates were meant
for the ones who find not seek
I cried that day in a store
I wanted to fled out the door
your text said it was just time
but it felt like a lie
that you wanted me to believe
because you really didn't love me
you loved what the idea of me was
and when you saw the real me
you froze and left because
your mother did like me
I hated you for so long
I hated what you did to me
but I got over it in 7 months
and realized I couldn't never
love someone as ugly as you

I changed my phone number
in case you'd call and I'd pick up
I didn't want the constant worry
of maybe you calling it put
my heart to a state of panic
a state of what if's
that if you'd call it'd all be fixed
I changed my number in case
you were regretting your decision
and decided you were finally wrong
I didn't want to hear the sorry felt
I love you dangling on the cord
I didn't want to hear the tears that would
fall on the phone and make your voice
quiver with a sadness I could not take
I changed my number for the fear
that if you didn't ever call it'd somehow
break what was left of me
that if you didn't call
I would never know
because my phone number was changed

a broken friendship  
cannot blossom from pain  
it is the very existence of what was toxic  
to my body that lasted with theirs  
friendship is so sacred that when it  
falls apart like a string undone I can't  
wrap my mind on what went wrong  
she was everything I had aspired to be  
she was perfect in every essence
she was half of me  
but she was toxic to my health  
and made me mistreat myself  
in losing who I was in order to  
replace the half she was missing  
of herself she needed me to fill
a void in her heart that wasn't  
able to be plastered shut by only her  
she needed me more than she wanted me  
and I couldn't stand being her one time need
so, I ended a friendship that was important to me  
and found myself fixing the things she had done  
to my body, mind and soul

you felt like home
the foundation that completed  
my cement walls  
that covered me in plaster  
and gave me furniture to  
dress my body with  
you gave me light  
that glowed beyond my heart  
you gave me water  
that flowed into my body when you were not there  
you gave me memories  
to bathe laughter in  
you gave me a home that I could now call my own  
I felt like when I stood on the floors that we
built our relationship on I could finally  
feel safe with a guy like you  
because when I stepped in a home  
or rather our home with you  
it felt like everything pulled together  
finally, for us two

I dated a boy whose name started with D  
he was everything I could possibly want him to be  
he was what I called home on cold winter nights
he was the cradled arms when I could not fall asleep  
he was the most handsome person on earth  
his smile could melt worries away  
his laugh could be heard in the echo of a mountain  
his eyes could make a night sky hide in shame  
oh god he was everything to someone like me  
but you see when you date someone who  
doesn't end well in the lasting days  
you start to hate the letter D and even the name  
because love has a funny way to suddenly turn to hate  
and my hatred for him turned into acceptance that  
memories could now only stay stained if I wanted them too
dating someone who's name starts with a D  
will surely not end well for me  
I don't miss you  
but deep down I do

I'll bask in the sunlight
like a flower ill spread
my petals into an open
lights that feels like you

he loved her
but not like much
others clearly do
he only loved her
when she was noticed
out of the blue
he only loved her
when others cared too
he only loved her when
she made an effort not to
he only loved her when
she didn't cry over his
remarkable lies told
from time to time
he only loved her
when she loved herself
and held no room for his
love that was only meant
for show in front of others
she finally loved herself
from within without
the help of him

my ****** is expected
to have your lips curved
around its bald lips
to be clean and proper
in order for you to properly
love my ******
if it's ugly and stubbly
I have to shave that ugliness
away until flowers bloom
from the stubble and flourish
into petals that you can kiss
my ****** is not your place
of solitude that you can pray too
it is only for me to love even
through all of the ugliness

I loved you for many reasons
but if I asked for a reason of yours
you'd stare blankly and say
because it's you

I'm so sick and tired
of all of you boys who
act like I'm just a reachable toy
I'm not so shiny when your
hands touch and dull me
I'm so sick of the way you look
at me like I'm a prize
I'm sick and tired of these boys

paint me like Van Gogh  
draw me in your milky sky  
that only holds  stars in place  
through your artistic eyes  
show me how the midnight sky can  
hold a beauty for a person like me  
show me that I too can swirl in  
place with colors of yellow and white  
I want to be the paint within your soul  
to create me to life with the brush of a stroke
paint all my colors bold even the dark  
ones where a story is told  
I want to see it through your eyes  
that holds my beauty in your  
milky starry sky

you kissed my cheeks
one by one
until the stars poured out
and became a galaxy

I wouldn't want to glow
like the sun for her beauty
is only meant to show
when no one else is looking