Sometimes I wish I can run away
Go missing
Disappear
Sometimes just for a few hours
Other times for days
When my head starts to hurt
And the people get too much
I don't want to be seen
Perhaps I'll be by myself
Perhaps I'll meet people that don't make me spin
Don't make me overthink
Don't repeat the same **** thing

Shower me not
With gifts of extravagance
Don't drip me with gold

I ask not for my closet to be filled
Or crisp notes to line my pockets
No matter the occasion

Your kindness is easy
Your giving is much
Much not needed

Give if you must
I'd rather you understand
Give me your patience

And if that were to run out
Gift me respect
And appreciation

But if those are not amongst your gifts
If it is beyond your ability
Above your reach

Then gift me time
With your absence
I will lavish with self respect

Looking back now
Meeting you meant losing you
Loving you came hand in hand with a painful goodbye
And I held it
Pulled it closer
Learned to gently go towards the parting
To love in your departure
Be soft in your absence
Wallow in your memories
Ache for your scent
Loving you meant for a lifetime
Years of us and many more without

I think I could love you

Until my skin grows wet

And my bones grow tired of holding us up

Until it feels like my words are echoing back to me

And my breath touches my face

I think I could love you until all I hear is I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you

The eulogist will say

She tried

And tried

And tried so hard

But promises bore her down

And people wouldn't let her fly alone

She finally had enough

And the solo mission began