In the C- section of 1990
You'll find me in the belly of July
Surrounded by the heat
Of dreams
I am still in debt
To the lessons of first love
I have yet to greet the pain of some wounds
And some I am still filling
My eyes are still observing abstinence
I am stuck in my mourning period
Let a moment pass
And let me think
About if I want to be ruined again...
When the casket of memories I have of her
is lifted from my mind
When the nights don't remind me of the promises we could not keep

I asked questions which did not have answers
And befriended those who could not keep relations
I died in his eyes
But swallowed them whole
To live in the refraction
That caught me in them

Why does your heart dip
And the Earth tremble beneath your feet
When God is dangling above your breastbone
And frozen at your lips?
Why can't you sleep
And why do the sins of others worry you so
When the name of God is in your name
And the commands of God your script?

It's as if I am the dread
Of the curtains being lifted
It's as if I am speaking to the deaf
And awaiting an answer from the mute
It's as if I am being asked to
Shed tears for a pain I did not endure
A departure I did not see
Tell me does it make a difference
Whether I speak or remain silent?
Tell me
Do you ever miss me?
And if you do? Does it trouble you
Does the moon remind you that I too
Live under the same sky?
Does the dark make you think
That I dream of the light?

If a portrait:
then only the kind you won't see in the mirror.
If a house: then not too warm
lest there be reluctance in leaving.
If plans:
then only those which can be changed.
If belongings:
then just so much that can be carried.
When the time comes to leave,
who told you that you are permitted to keep what you own?
To settle in?
Who told you that it would last forever?
Did no one ever tell you,
that nowhere in this world
is home?

She hates winter
How quickly the dark hides shadows
And rubs away the outline of things
But isn't it beautiful when the snow
Holds each footprint accountable?
Isn't it lovely how there's no pressure for anything to grow?
How lovers hold eachother closer
Winter is the breath proving its existence

I am trying to tell you
The world is beautiful
That you have forgotten something very important
Like quiet mornings
And the smell of a home cooked meal
Light traffic
And the wind against your face
You live in a land of
Hypothetical myths
Contained in scenes set in libraries
The idea of heaven
Does not mean there are things in this world you could never bring yourself to love
Heaven is a place of all your favourite things on Earth