I'm sorry
That I let the pain
Twist me into someone new
Someone wrung out and tired
Wary hearted
Using distance as protection
But I was once fooled
For my love was turned into a social scandal
Mocked
And demoralised
Desires turned into
Whispered taboos
My devotion
Became a mark of shame
My trust
A sign of weakness
Everything I was became a story of pity
So I blamed myself
Changed myself
Became as cold as the heart he gave me

I miss you in a way that makes my heart ache
Yet here I am like a willow tree
That has died whilst standing
Even when I am alone
I do not belong to myself
For you have a place within the wilderness
Seeking the burial
Of my beautiful fate

If lies had shape it would be the curve in his smile
The brightness of his teeth
He was the growling of fire
Whilst I was the silence of ashes