people enter our lives like snow in the winter
However as seasons change people tend to grow
closer together further apart
in every which way were all lonely souls
With broken hearts

I drink too much
I smoke too much
say everything I don't mean
too afraid to let you know what I really think
I'll only show I care after you leave
with the stroke of the pen I'll paint you the thoughts in my head
take a big puff and think of everything I should've said
too late take a shot
laugh with the boys
smile though it's fake
Tomorrow will be the day

win or lose
win or lose
my heart will still bruise
my actions say the opposite of my emotions
oops my stanzas are getting too true
putting my thoughts on paper only ever has me feeling blue
Til I hit the herb
my grandmother hates it but it's the only thing I always choose
win or lose
win or lose
I fumbled again trying to pick and choose

I sit up too fast and instantly fall back down. My head feels as if Mike Tyson snorted a whole kilo of Colombian sugar and used my face as a punching bag to pass the time. The dim light of the afternoon is shining thru my blinds. What have I done this time. The stench of cheap ***** holds to my breath like a wide receiver does a touchdown pass. I stumble to the back porch and light up a cigarette. The events of last night dances around my head like a marching band in the middle of a mine field. The phone breaks the silence and I quickly answer it
"hello may I ask whose calling?'
the other end was silent for a moment and only spoke a single word
"do you have my money Mr. Collins?"
Before the sentence was finished my heart was burying itself inside my stomach everything came rushing back all at once like a blast from a shotgun.
"I'm afraid you must have the wrong number" I somehow manage to spit out while I shake with fear. "ah yes I thought we might have to play this silly game Mr.Collins but I assure you it will not look pretty for you in the end." I hear a knock on the front door and before I can run away two men trap me on the porch. "yes sir" I reply. "so where is my money then" before I can answer one of the men sucker punches me on to the ground knocking all the fight out of me. The other guy picks up the phone and in a thick accent I barely make out "we have him and were searching the house well **** him if we don't find it." One hangs up the phone and grabs me while his partner begins to destroy anything of value in my home.
Everything started out good me and my wife had just bought a house. I was just recently promoted at my law firm. Then the news came breast cancer before we could even get her into chemo she was stage four. She was a fighter though we thought she was beating it around that time money was tight so I went to a loan shark for help. I poured every penny I had into saving her but eventually she just couldn't fight anymore. She died and with it when my soul. I stopped making payments, I stopped going to work. so here I am with three hired guns tearing my house apart til they realize there is no money. "Where is it you ******* *******!"  They begin to take turns punching and kicking me into submission. Until finally I look up at the .357 pointed at my temple and smile with glee. BANG

come thru
we can dance with no light other then the stars and the moon
silky smooth  wine my hand on your thighs smiles galore hearts adore
I'm sorry I was a *****
It was just sarah I swear and we did when she was still wearing her underwear so that can't count can it
love is a game of chance they say I'm sorry I used the cheat code that made you runaway
Come thru
just don't stay away your presence feeds my soul and stops my minds war on it self I swear to god I should pray and get medicated how I could just get such a queen like a dollar store clown I could only make you frown unfaithful issues and vacant pocket motels
come thru
I'm feeling good and I miss the way your body felt on the hood of my car that night after the bar when we swore we could get far and kids thought they would get to exist
Come thru
Dancing in the rain trying like a pastor to heal your pain without a pill hard to do purely as friends too much *** appeal hit my confession box and I'll be sure to hit every spot bless and kiss appreciate what I don't wanna lose
so what can we do cuddle,****,fight ENOUGH
your upset that I can't say I do but if I say that I'd have to get my life on track

were so sacrilegious
with the tabs we take
were so sacrilegious
we wanna dance and play
WEre so sacrilegious
come and have a taste
take a tab transport to to the higher realms
Palm trees smile in the violet dance sunset
the fun's not done yet
WEre sacrilegious in all we do
Were gonna go to hell but I just can't stay away from you
tick tick tick

all alone staring at the moon
my brain is bleeding my eyes misleading
standing in the middle of the street my soul is consumed and washed in the blood of the moon
I sob oceans and dry the high tide from my eyes even though I haven't shed a tear
my head is cloudy but my thoughts are crystal clear enough to cut diamonds with just a glance
Passionate, Purposeful, determined
all things I was and all things I'm not
Lover,Dreamer,Jaded
used to be 2/3 now it's 1/3
nothing should be the same everything must change

I am the boy that chased the butterfly off the end of the world
unafraid I jumped with all my might to grab the butterfly out of the sky
Just out of reach it continues to fly while I watch it fade as I plummet to the void below
I fall for what feels like days the blood all but filled inside my head pulls me further down with atom bomb like speed
I await my demise at the bottom and my eyes ard rolling to the back of my head
Like that  it clicks I see myself at baseball practice and in the next instance my lips tastes the bittersweet lipstick of my first kiss
I must be dead
the memories continues to past thru my brain as the feeling of falling fades
finally gasping for air I wake up on the ground
naked however unbothered
Standing on a crater staring at the stars
I start to cry and diamonds stream from my eyes into the everlasting sky
I watch the stars and wait for my time to reappear