(Song title from The Beatles’ catalogue, by Lennon/McCartney)

Nothing nicer,
Sinful sweetness,
Darling desire,
Every time we come together.

Nothing neater,
Sinful stardust,
Darling dancing,
Every time we come together.

(Song title from The Beatles’ catalogue, by Lennon/McCartney)

I dream of a day,
A far off place where we’re together,
Your hand would be held in mine,
And your bird can sing its song,
Aloud.

(Song title from The Beatles catalogue, by Lennon/McCartney)

All you need is love, they say,
But famine, war and hunger get in the way,
Same old hatred,
Same old fear,
Plays out within my brain day by day.

I can’t understand the fray,
The bitter denial in all that we say,
Such angry words,
Angry stares,
And still they say, “all you need is love”.

(Song title from “Wicked” by Stephen Schwartz)

I looked at him from across the room,
His eyes smiled,
A spark of tenderness hiding the gloom,
Number dialled.

Never felt such a feeling as this,
Scared by my mind,
What is this feeling of utter bliss?
True hearts are blind.

(Song title from “The Best Little ******* In Texas” by Carol Hall)

Twenty four hours of lovin’,
Twenty four hours of passion,
In bed,
In the bath,
Morning to moon,
Moon to light,
In the bath,
In bed,
Twenty four hours of passion,
Twenty four hours of lovin’.

(Song title from “The Rocky Horror Show” by Richard O’Brien)

That moment after making love,
Where time stands still,
All is calm and bliss and glee fill the air,
Flood the air like gold pouring down a shelf,
Magical,
That moment of peace trapped in a time warp,
That moment after making love,
That moment in her arms.

(Song title from “Sunset Boulevard” by Lloyd Webber, Black, Hampton and Powers)

I wonder how it feels to have the perfect year,
Full of love and comfort, laughter and cheer,
Without crying and without shame,
No anguish and no pain,
Safe from the thunder and the rain.

I wonder how it feels to have the perfect year,
Full of joy and smiles, sunshine and cheer,
Without anger and without hurt,
No coldness and no dirt,
Safe from storms: no need to revert.

(Song title from “The Sound Of Music” by Rodgers and Hammerstein)

They have called me cruel and evil,
And their words drove daggers to my spine,
I feel the pain as my blood is shed,
Dare to do something good this time.

(Song title from “Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street” by Stephen Sondheim & Hugh Wheeler)

Everywhere I look I see pretty women,
Rushing and dashing in the rain,
Like a fish that’s lost and swimming,
I hope to meet one of these women again.

The pretty women never catch my eye,
They always pass me by,
The pretty women never catch my eye,
Although I make attempts and try,
The pretty women never catch my eye.

Everywhere I look I see pretty women,
Rushing and dashing in the sun,
Like a cloud in the wind; dreaming,
Just like yesterday, still I am left with none.

(Song title from “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” by Lloyd Webber and Rice)

When you died I couldn’t cope,
The pain was clearly there,
I was empty as a barrel,
Feeling the cold of your armchair.

The warmth that you brought,
Vanished and faded away,
In the flicker of an eyelid,
Made me wish for another day.

Now you’re high above the clouds,
One more angel in heaven on high,
And I know you’ll watch over me,
In every second that passes me by.

(Song title from “Cats” by Lloyd Webber, Nunn and Eliot)

I recall the day the sun faded with golden haze,
Leaving a mist of inner peace upon the sky,
The clouds’ lining of silver were bright fire-red; ablaze,
This is a memory that haunts me and I begin to cry,
The horsemen of the apocalypse sent me to a daze,
I reminisce in fear about the day I thought I’d die.

(Song title from “Aspects of Love” by Lloyd Webber, Black and Hart)

I’ve been on a journey of a lifetime with her,
She held my hand and I gripped hers,
My lips caressed her neck as with daylight she began to stir.

I’ve been on a journey of a lifetime with her,
She touched my *** and I loved hers,
I never now want to return to the way that things once were.

(Song title from “West Side Story” by Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim)

My heart is lighter than air,
For I have found a special heart,
An everlasting beating,
From which I’ll never part,
For I have a love that flows deep to my core.

Will you hold onto me?
Will feel the pulse drain from my body?
Will you be there at the end?

As I get colder,
And my skin and form look older,
And you feel my soul disappear,
Will you be right here?

Will you hold onto me?
Will feel the pulse drain from my body?
Will you be there at the end?

I hope that with this book,
I have at least cried my tears,
And maybe let go of the hurt,
I built up throughout the years,
And I think I understand,
That when it’s time to go,
I’ll be not afraid of leaving,
Just wonder where I’ll go.

I often imagine that those I lose are up there,
Decorating the night sky,
Each a twinkling star,
A burst of fragrant light,
But still I know that eternity is rare,
Cause even stars have a lifeline,
This never seems to be fair,
To give up your world in mortal form,
To leave these lands and be reborn,
As a twinkling star,
But not be seen for you’ve travelled too far.

It feels as though someone has a stopwatch,
One for every person on earth,
Waiting, trigger-happy, to kick you in the crotch,
Show you just what you’re worth,
This Father Time has control over when we come and go,
He can choose the moment and the how,
And allows us to proceed with knowledge we don’t know,
Just make it quick and end the pain somehow.

Looking into numb eyes,
Lifeless eyes of youth,
It’s wrong,
It’s shouldn’t happen,
Unimaginable pain,
Like shards of glass as falling rain,
Cutting deeper,
Cutting pieces away,
No parent should feel this way,
But fragments of their beating heart,
Just slowly trickle away.

A simple word,
One syllable,
Less than a second to say,
Maybe a second to type it,
But a lifetime of questions,
A lifetime of tears,
Several moments of anguish,
Several years of intrusive emotion,
Of counting the beats between each breath,
Such a throwaway word with heavy weights: death.

He lurks in the framework of our minds,
And breathes poison into each living cell,
Waiting,
Hoping,
His time to strike will come,
He’ll cut us down with one mighty swoop,
With one deadly cut of his scythe.

I’m dead now and you give me your tears,
Resting your head upon my still chest,
Soaking my already cold clothes with regret,
Chilling my rigid body as you sprawl over my breast,
Move forward several weeks to my cremation day,
And flowers adorn the coffin in which I sleep,
And pretty ribbons and rows of cards from all that I knew,
To try to cheer my darlings’ heart as she hides the times she weeps.

The sky has turned a peculiar grey,
As they stand at the grave,
Holding back the tears and growing fears,
Holding to the life you gave,
Your country won’t forget but memories are short,
The image they have is of anguish,
But now your body rests in eternal slumber,
They need you by there side- they can only wish.

You suffered,
You struggled,
Your life was cruel and hard,
You were tortured,
You were tormented,
Your life was short and fast.

Now we comfort ourselves,
We say only what we can,
Rest in peace,
Peacefully slumber,
Rest in peace,
R.I.P….
R.I.P….
R.I.P.…

I smile when I think of the times we shared,
All the joy and laughter,
My memories – my safe place,
But yet I cry at the sight of your face,
But in reality it’s all I have,
Only a photo.

Ultimate preservation,
A cleansing of the spirits,
Keeping a pure soul intact,
Bandaged but unhealed,
Bandaged but mortal.

A cycle of emotions that I don’t comprehend,
One feeling has passed and another descends,
From anger to sadness to fear and frustration,
To loneliness and madness, grief and devastation,
You lose a friend, a lover, a child, a relation,
The feelings of mourning create horrid sensations,
I’m chilled to the bone by my feelings of hurt,
I kneel and pray with my hands buried in dirt,
I try to drag you from the ground back to my side,
The soil is sludge from every blue tear I’ve cried,
As I cope with missing you someone else will depart,
I hope I’m prepared in my heart; prepared for the cycle to start.

A sense of peaceful abandonment,
An emptiness,
A hollow shell full of isolation,
A place of refusal,
Refusing closest consolation,
A moment in life of loneliness.

A time for that painful reflection,
For recalling,
A crowded mind with nothing to think of,
A place to see your face,
See your face whatever I dream of,
A flash of time in life; loneliness.

A shining white beacon on such a black day,
Lighting up the heart from the coffin where you lay,
Delivering a positive feeling to all who kneel and pray,
A shining white beacon on such a black day.

Embalm my soul if you can,
So that the world may keep preserved,
The inner-workings of a troubled man,
Who suffered as much as he deserved,
For I struggled and fell,
Sometimes I soared up high,
As they ring my last bell,
Keep my soul from learning to fly,
Embalm my soul if you can,
So that the world may comprehend,
The inner-sadness of a broken man,
Who suffered for those who can’t defend.

It’s a horrible thought,
Dying alone at home,
With no one to come rushing to my side,
It’ll be printed that a local man died,
Found three months later,
Holding the picture of mater,
Like a cheese that has decomposed.

I held it and read it,
Over and over,
Words that broke my heart,
Date of birth,
Place of birth,
Date of death,
Place of death,
Closed a chapter with the harshness of a slamming door.

I held your hand the day you died,
Between the bathroom and bedroom,
On the ground where you lay,
You were cold,
Your eyes had lost their spark,
You were haunted,
I was haunted,
You were present but far removed,
I was cold.

Cold,
Cold ever since,
Empty,
Empty and cold.

I said goodbye the day you died,
As you lay on the cold, hard ground,
Your mouth calling for help,
You were cold,
Your eyes had frozen pain,
You were haunted,
I was haunted,
You were missing but in my sight,
I was cold.

(This poem is dedicated with sadness and regret to the memory of my Grandmother.)

So final,
So harsh,
A full stop to life,
So harsh,
So final.

A coffin,
Wood, nails,
A full stop to life,
Wood, nails,
A coffin.

So final,
So harsh,
A full stop to life,
So harsh,
So final.

I remember the last words uttered on the wind,
For God to forgive every time you sinned,
And to open your dying eyes so that you can see,
And not continue falling saying “bury me”.

I ask you to burn me because it’s hard to dream,
Now that you’ve departed and gone to heavens door,
My heart is full of anguish and my throat full of screams,
It’s an easy option to die for the reality is hard to ignore.

I ask you to burn me because it’s hard to breathe,
My lungs have collapsed, my soul snapped under the strain,
Breaking under the raging tears my blood starts to seethe,
A torturous amount of pain deep within that you never could preordain.

I say a silent prayer in your honour every night,
Before I lay my head to rest with the darkness of the light,
I pray that I’ll remember and never forget your smile,
And hope to stay enchanted by the way you beguiled,
I say to God the words I hate to say,
“Look after my beloved until I come to stay.”

Remember,
Play on bugler,
Remember,
Play on bugler,
Play on.

Coffin,
Swathed in the Union Jack,
And that haunting, heartbreaking tune,
That echoed once at break of moon,
The Last Post is played.

Coffin,
Swathed in the Union Jack,
And that eerie, elegant song,
Now echoes that things have gone wrong,
The Last Post is played.

Remember,
Play on bugler,
Remember,
Play on bugler,
Play on.

I’ll wait for you in a vineyard of bliss,
In the ever-after,
I’ll sit among the clouds and save a special kiss,
In the ever-after,
Don’t dwell on all you’ve lost - I’ll give you all you miss,
In the ever-after.

In the ever-after we can make a world brand new,
In the ever-after we’ll be free in all we do,
In the ever-after I’ll be happy; I’ll be with you,
In the ever-after.

I’ll wait for you in an orchard of gold,
In the ever-after,
I’ll remember everything I was ever told,
In the ever-after,
I’ll be waiting here for you to melt and to hold,
In the ever-after.

In the waiting room,
Tick-tock,
Time drags its body slowly,
Hour after hour,
Tick-tock,
We wait and wait,
Wait and wait,
Until the doctor appears,
And covers his watch,
He announced time,
The time he stopped counting his clock,
Tick-tock,
Tick-tock,
Tick-----------------------

I feel my eyes close and open,
Against my will they move,
As if a string controlled my senses,
Like a puppet that’s been removed.

…passing…
…passing…
…passing…

I feel my mouth dry and harden,
But fluid won’t remain,
I’m like a barren sandy desert,
Like a river that’s been contained.

…passing…
…passing…
…passing…

I pass through the fires of hell,
And hide my bloodshot eyes,
And hope he’ll see that my pathway could straighten,
The day I met with Satan.

I pass through the gates of heaven,
And bow my weary head,
And pray he’ll forgive the muddy path I trod,
On the day I met with God.

How do you explain a death to the innocence of youth?
“An angel came from heaven,
And took him to a happier place.”

How do you explain a death to the innocence of youth?
“God took him from his pain,
He didn’t want him to suffer anymore.”

How do you explain a death to the innocence of youth?
“Freedom was always his aim,
Let him go now.”

How do you explain a death to the innocence of youth?
“He’s not far away you just can’t see him,
He’s waiting for us in the next room.”

How do you explain a death to the innocence of youth?
I say tell them with your heart,
Be honest, kind and stand by the truth.

My immortal heart is beating,
Merrily playing its tune,
Sounding out a Glass-like rhythm,
From high above the moon.

But down below my mothers tears are falling,
Spilling on my chest,
For my mortal heart has ceased its melody,
Before I gave that earthly life my best.

My immortal heart is beating,
Merrily playing its tune,
But my funeral is busy,
Playing The March too soon.

I’m not afraid of hell,
It can’t be worse than here,
Where I live under the spell,
A spell of anger and fear,
Lonely feelings since I fell,
Where I shed a bitter tear.

So sit there and mourn me,
Imagine my forgiveness,
I’m in hell on the other side,
My time in hell goes on.

I found a haven,
Made for honest heathens,
Whose desperate search for answers,
Are understood as riddles and dancers,
That once the clock of life has stopped is ticking,
Graceful through the gates I go not screaming and kicking,
I know the haven is heaven,
The number on the door is my lucky number seven.

Forgive my sins when I die,
Let me rest in peace,
I only lived with my heart,
Found safety in all I did,
Forgive my sins when I die,
Let me sleep in calm,
I always lived with my soul,
Found safety from all my harm.