I want to be described
not just by a friends saying
'ya dude you're chill'
but I want someone to spend the day
thinking of the right words
and sentences
to put together
and describe me
I want an author
or a poet
to make me part of their work
I want to be described by different people
I want to see me from their eyes
I want to know what my physical appearance is
the shape of my body
the color of my eyes
how my hair feels tangled within their finger tips
what they think about my laugh
what I remind them of
what I protect them from
the good and bad about me
I want them to describe
how I think
how they feel when they are around me
how I talk
walk
eat
sing
everything
everything they can think about to describe me
please

I am just winging this whole thing
because it is 11:30 pm
and the night holds more than just the stars
I sit here and pretend like I don't know were it all leads
as my fingers stumble to find the right letters
to forum the right words
into the right sentence
that will make you feel the night as I do
I feel as if it cradles me
whether I am warped in blankets staring at walls
trying to close my eyes and dream of something world waking up to
or if I am up in the mist of what feel like forever
trying to communicate with people who have no idea
who
I
am
what more are we
than just skin and bones
the only difference is our minds
our minds are the ones that want food
that want love
hate
attention
they decorate
this thing that our minds decided on calling a body
and my mind
is up at past 11 pm
just to move some fingers
and hit some keys
because this is what the thing we call night
makes my mind want to do
it makes it want to sore
because our minds make up stories about amazing people waking up doing amazing things
and our minds make up stories about all the monsters coming out at night
and maybe my mind is convinced
that the monster people tell stories about
is me

everything is edging to a near
everyone is safe on their feet
but im leaning on my toes
looking down into an endless pit
once dropped in
i can never return
i can never come back
as the same old me
the darkness from the pit rises
i haven't even fallen in but the smell is to much to handle
this darkness sticks with you
it tints your skin
it gets deep into your bones
where water can't reach
so even if you manage
to claw your way out
you would just want to jump back in
because the fact is that
this darkness leaches off of you
you can never pull it off
it will convince you it is right
and again you're back on your toes

A magic twist of events
can only start
if action is taking
one with great light
one with great color
and one with an open mind
A blooming new opportunity
can be taken
by someone of no quirk
or someone of imagination
An adventure awaits
for someone who is willing to go
A story is ready to be written
if that person is willing to write it
The rollercoaster may not be enjoyable for all
it wont wait for you
and you may be force to ride
so you must make the best of it
and keep
an open mind

when side and side collide
a fire burns inside
it is the turning waves
that eat you up and spit you out in a lonesome cave
when side and side collide
magic is made
it is rhythmic music
with ones who brake
when side and side collide
it is the thunder in your veins
the boulders in your arms
when side and side collide
it is the freedom that we crave
when side and side collide
no telling what will be made

i wanted to rip apart
every bit of my skin
I wanted to watch it rip like fabric
string from string
nothing stopped me from doing it
no one cared
I had to just stand there as the mocked me
all they did was laugh and stare
they laughed at my grades and how im a failure
little do they know I wanted to drop out and **** myself
little do they know they wars in my head prevent me from doing better
they stare at my body
im so annoyed by it
little do they know this is the first time in so long that I didn't ware an oversize  shirt because of this fear
little do they know that starting at me
weather it be disgust
or to enjoy
it kills me
that they think they can do that just because.
I know im nothing
worthless
I know
but little do they know
how hard it was for me
to shove back my anger
to stop myself from letting rivers flow from my eyes
little do they know
oh how little they know

it seemed as if every conversation began and ended with
'you are a failure'
i really am
i am nothing
if i took my life today
the failure could end
they tell me to become the person i want to be
but they don't want me to be me
they want me to become what they want to see
they can't bare any other scene
i can list forever what it wrong with me
from personality to looks
from grades to talent
and you couldn't prove me wrong
i cant even talk to them anymore
i cant even pretend I'm worth living
it will all end soon
don't worry