they tell me i cant be trying my best
they say i'm to much of a failure
to be trying my hardest
but this is the best i got
do you know how it feels
to be told that is my worst?
i cant be any better than i am
I'm sorry i just cant
i have given my all
my everything
maybe
its because my all
goes into what you want it to
has anything i ever wanted
or needed
ever past your mind?
i assume not
you would **** me before i killed myself
i just want to travel in the wind
like the smoke that comes from my burning body
i cant escape
i am giving you my best
why do you assume that is my worst?
you have never seen me at my near worst
if you did you would tremble and run
think of me for just a moment
my best
is my best
take it
or see my worst

my life
was kind of like second hand smoke
people would huff and puff next to and around me
and yes their lungs crush and crumble
but so do mine
at first i would cough trying to get the smoke to leave my system
i wasn't used to it
but now
it is a daily thing
i figured out how to help them deal with the smoke
i take it all in one breath
now the smoke kills me
it takes over my body and mind
i sit with my decaying lungs
and every day they come to me with more cigarettes and smoke
and i take it away
but once i do
they leave me with it
their smoke
and my own
i'm suffocating
i cant find my way out
but they wont let me die
because if i do
who will take in all the second hand smoke

its all a lie. let me tell you that. i dont love him like that. i love him as a friend. just remember.




and i never thought he would love
me
or anyone
but as he leaned in to kiss my lips
i felt the slightest tingle
he held my hands and the words
'i love you so much'
fell from his lips
we kiss again
and he holds me
before we bid each other goodbye
as i wait for the next day to come
i am shattered by the loneliness that has over come me
'i need his touch'
i whisper to myself
as the days go on
i see him as much as i can
we fall more in love each day
closer and closer
and being loved like this
felt amazing
but have being hurt before
i fear it as well
his perfection over took that fear
as he told me the same
he loved me and didn't seek for my flaws
and my heart beat purely for him
he made me feel on top of the world
and although he could not cure
the depression that tore me apart
he did not add to the pain
and as we move on in life
he would hold my hands
and help me push my way
he stays by my side
as i never leave him
'forever'
he says
and i answer with a confused look
'that's how long i want to be with you'
and as our love grows into more
then just kisses and words
is stays pure
forever

and if I die I will be your ghost
I'll help you out of every disaster
I will find a way to watch over you
and I'll be back because your dreams
help me live on in legacy
I will cross my broken heart
so you can see I'm finally happy
I can speak
I can hide
and the world can not harm me
because you see
I am your ghost
and that's all I ever wanted to be
now you see death is near
and its nothing that we fear
we fear the lost
we fear the broken
death its self
my dear
is a relief from this disaster
a freedom you never feel
until your gone
for good

I will sail this empty sea
Alone with my dead and empty mind
My death toned eye
And my dead pale skin
Now what happened
Not too long ago
I was young
I was youthful
I had the strength of a million men
I was as wise as I could be
But now
I’m losing everything I once had
My age is the only thing I gain
And I’m gaining it quickly
I can see the life of others
Drain with mine
It’s sad and it hurts
What will we do
When everyone is like this
No youth
No strength
We will all fail and die
Together

I am the cage keeper
in my cage I hold secrets
not just one or two
or three or four
hundred
even millions
people tell me everything
and I just lock it away
every secret you can think of
so many secrets
big and small
even simple things
I would never share them
not even one
because I know what its like
to have a knife stabbed into your back
but some people
want to destroy others
they are the hammer
they try to crack open the cage
but it is impossible
I will take my secrets to the grave
but sometimes
even other peoples secrets **** me
I sit and I think about them
I put time into everyone of them
to make sure the secret doesn't damage its owner
so they hand them to me
to help take care of and mend
but who holds my secrets
well I am the cage keeper
so I hold my secrets to

they look at me as a circus act
they look at me as an acrobat
I'm twisted and turned and pushed on my back
that's why they call me a circus act
and I am the ****** you point and laugh at
but in reality I am the sanity
of this circus act
and we all take part disguised by lies
we all have our own show
we are famous for our wonderful tricks and our flips
because we are the circus show
and we try our hardest to get out of this cage
the lions are hungry and we cant play this game
and if the circus doesn't **** you
you will hang
on the tightrope
no net on the ground
and we will ride our unicycle off of the bridge
we will gather our money
every penny and dime
for tickets to see the freaks in the circus act
but we are the show