hannie

hannie Jan 2014

Say It

Say it before you run out of time.
Say it, speak it out line after line.
Say it before it's too late,
Waiting is just the biggest mistake.
What are you waiting for?
Until the waves crash the shore?
Why are you saving it?
For when?
Why are you afraid of this?
And then?
Words are here for minds to form
and mouths to say,
the courage to tell them is long gone,
on the tip of your tongue they stay.

You're afraid it might be annoying
to remind this person this one thing
every time, over and over again
It might make you look ridiculous,
showing a person that you actually care

Have you ever thought about the fact that
every chance you let slip away
could be the very last chance to make things alright?

Waiting is the biggest mistake. You never know when the last time will be to tell someone what you need to tell them.

hannie Jan 2014

wake up

With my head in my hands,
sitting next to tired friends,
bending over a thousand books,
giving each other annoyed looks,
I hide my eyes from the teacher
and fall asleep.

There's not one thing she says
that doesn't make me want to rest,
stifling warm air,
none of this gets me to care,
I hide myself from the teacher
and fall asleep.

The more I stare at the clock,
the more the hands tend to stop,
as whole centuries go by,
I slowly feel the urge to cry,
my head is on the table
and I fall asleep.

Wake up, I tell myself.
She'll punish you! I said.
Wake up, it's almost over.
Wake up, the end comes closer.
Wake up, you'll grab your coat,
wake up, we're going home.

I wrote this while sitting in the most boring class ever. No motivation. I just had to do something, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to stay awake.

hannie Jan 2014

those nights

tears are rolling down his face
cold and salty at that place
like the pouring rain
running down the windowpane

he's got to be quiet
since it's night and he can't riot
the silence is dangerous
the voice in his head's venomous
he doesn't scream or shout
showing his pain is not allowed

why can't i be there
to show him how much i care
want to hold him tight
support him in this fight
want to fix him and make it alright

why can't i be there
i wasn't aware
let's take away that blade
and give first aid
let's wipe away the blood and kiss his burning scars
take him to places and let him see the beauty of the stars

he's my best friend
want him to ascend
he's suffering and crying
i know well and he keeps denying
harming his beautiful skin
holding the blade between his fingers, so thin
at day he smiles while his heart is frowning
at night he feels like drowning

why am i not there?

those nights are evil,
those nights are long,
i am scared to say something that might be totally wrong
but those nights he calls me,
those nights he talks,
those nights i listen,
i forget about clocks.

I wrote this while talking to my best friend from another country who I really adore and love. I can't stand the distance because I can't be there when he needs me. If you read this, I love you, M.

— The End —