If I could convince you of one thing,
I would convince you that you are worth it.
These arms are much to short and far too weak
to rip through the curtain of time,
but if I could convince you,
I would brush hours with my fingertips
and leave palm prints engraved on the days you didn't feel loved.
Reaching back, up to my elbows in  pools of your story,
sifting through the silt built up at the bottom,
twisting knobs and turning dials
until every time you heard his voice or her voice say
'you will never amount to anything'
instead played back
'you will never stop amounting.'
Spry young saplings, planted at the river's edge,
you will never stop growing.
You will always find strength when you lift your branches to the sky,
be it deep in your roots,
you will stand taller than northern pines,
taller than sycamores that split clouds with their leaves.
Believe me now more than your memories,
you will do so much more than survive.
I would spill this pain I see melted in your eyes.
With all of the righteous fury a sinner can muster,
I would destroy those times you were told
that it's never ok to cry,
that you must live like prisoners inside your own bodies
with emotions covering up the windows more and more each day.
If I could convince you,
I would swallow every steel bar you've ever known,
Giving you back your mother,
Giving you back your father.
I would fill myself with cages
if you would know that you are free.
You are free to live life as you have seen it in the trees.
Stand tall, and drink from the rivers of love
so few are willing to share with you.
In turn, share your rivers with those who also believe.
I would not erase the pain you have suffered,
for I would not dare touch your strength.
I would ask, that when you feel the wind,
like the breath of God, stirring through the trees,
that you would stretch out your branches and weep.
Water the ground that has brought you so far,
embracing every waking moment
that you might never again live in dreams.
If I could convince you of one thing,
Change your mind about time,
showing you that you are both past and present
staring boldly into the future,
I would convince you that you are worth it.
Whatever "it" you could imagine "it" to be,
Know that it will never measure up to your leaves.

You, sir, are talking
To the child who has raised children.
To the girl who worked a full time job when she was eleven.
To the girl who has won fist fights with men twice her age and size.
Who walked away with bruised ribs and never cried.
To the girl who has gone more than four days without eating.
Who has slept on the moth eaten couches of strangers.
The girl who
When she was fifteen,
Took her fourth grade education
Taught herself multiplication
And now studies particle physics for fun.

When you look at me.
What you see is a weak,
Insecure, little girl.
But I've fought my way through hell
And have come out victorious.
While you've been sitting on your
Trust fund sofa.

You think you have the upper hand
And that will make winning  easy.
I'd rather be a friend,
But make no mistake
I'm a formidable enemy.

Don't think for a second that you can
Treat me the way you did today
And walk away unscathed.

You promise I'll never be alone.
Never again.
You say you'll burn all of the pain away
With the heat of your kiss.
You'll take me somewhere
Far from this life
Of bruises and broken dreams.

I know that you mean every word.
But these are promises you can't keep and
I won't hold you to them.
No resentment in the end.
Time has this way of making liars out of all of us.
you're older than me,
But you're just a child.
Experience has taught me what your years haven't yet.
Life never works out the way that you plan,
And you can't rely on someone else for happiness.

So hold me tight,
While this night lasts
In all of its euphoric lovliness.
Don't think about the future.

It hasn't happened yet

It was a cold, wintry December day.
I was at home,
sitting by the fire.
The fire was hot,
but from where I sat,
it felt like a warm blanket.
Suddenly,
my ******* started to lactate,
uncontrollably.
I did not know what was going on.
I lifted up my soaking wet shirt,
and put my hands over my *******,
in an attempt to stop the lactating,
but it did not work.
And then,
it stopped.
I squeezed my *******,
to see if they would lactate again,
but nothing happened.
I went to bed,
hoping this nightmare would be over in the morning.
But it wasn't.
When I woke up,
I went into the bathroom to perform my daily morning activities,
when I realized something on my chest.
A third ******!
I tried to rip it off,
but I couldn't.
Later that day,
at dinner,
I was eating a juicy, tender steak,
when suddenly,
all three of my ******* began to lactate!
I tried to stop them,
for they were lactating all over my steak.
Then, like before,
it stopped.
This proceeded for many days.
Everyday,
I woke up with another ******,
and everyday around six o'clock,
they would all lactate,
until one day,
the unthinkable happened.
I woke up.
I could not move.
I had no legs.
No arms.
I was a giant ******.
"NO!" I screamed.
Then,
as usual,
I began to lactate,
violently,
and then I exploded.

she came over last night
wearing a blue plaid shirt
sleeves rolled up and tails out
bustline buttons barely hanging on
squeezed into painted on pants
as usual
it had been some time
hadn’t heard from her in a while
we made a decision
then lost touch
so good to see her again
to lock eyes like we used to
brown peering into brown
then slow dancing till dawn
in my dimly lit bedroom
with curtains blowing soft in summer breezes
our legs interlaced
feeling my blood up on her hip
and  my knee between her thighs
while rocking side to side
two-stepping to the music
holding her close like this
her warm ******* full up on me
remembering everything we ever had
the moment frozen as the earth stood still
*** wasn’t imminent this time
because I knew it wasn’t real
it was just a memory
holding her close like this
and waking up knowing
this was the final goodbye

It was goodbye.
From beginning to end.
Whether we liked it,
or not.
It was a long goodbye,
several years,
stretched out over time,
so that in the end,
there was no pain.
Just memories.
It had its happy moments,
and its sad ones.
Most of those sad moments didn't occur till the end,
when in fact,
I knew it was over.
You see,
most goodbye's,
are short,
bitter,
and are usually full of unbridled rage.
We knew we didn't want that.
We wanted to be able to look back,
and say things ended,
on a good note.
Not an ugly one.
So we began saying goodbye from the beginning,
from the day we met,
we already knew it was over.
We knew someday,
it was gonna end.
One of us,
or maybe both of us,
wouldn't want to be with the other anymore.
Turns out,
it would be her who didn't want to be with me.
The day came,
the dreadful day,
where she said it,
goodbye.
I was okay,
or was I?
We had prepared for this,
for several years,
we built a tower,
a tower of love,
on happy memories.
But one word,
made me forget all of those memories.
Later that night,
I found my gun.
I sat in my room,
with my finger on the trigger,
for hours.
I never pulled that trigger.
I remembered,
the whole time I was with her,
I was saying goodbye.
We were saying goodbye.
We knew it was one big charade,
and that someday,
one of us wouldn't want to play anymore.
But like a fair sport,
the other would have to accept it,
and remember the fun they had playing their game.
So it was okay.
I was alright.
Who thought a goodbye,
could save your life.

I went to a brand new town
Spread out across the desert like a prom queens legs

The place has one restraunt
The place has one gas station

I made a mental note to look em' all in the eyes.
The guy at the counter was human enough

His nametag said MIKE
Mike, your *** is mine

What'll it be boy
**** people who call me boy

Just this
bottle of water

That'll be a dollar, son
**** people who call me son

I pull out a dollar
well...a dollar that looked something like a Colt Python 357.

That put a damper on ol' mikes day
I bet that **** fool ****** himself

I wonder If he noticed the sunlight flickering off  guns mother-of-pearl handle
I sure did

Take all the money. Please just don't **** me
I don't want the money, Mike

He whimpered when I said his name
******* always do that

What do you want then.........
Mike, I want to **** you

Sure enough he had to have a reason
The worst ******' word in the world

Why

and its nemesis

Because

You want to **** me just because?
because why?

Right there I knew Mike would never get it
He would never understand...poor old mike

Your about to get a wake up call Mike
Your about to be free as **** and not know what to do with yourself

Mike stands there with his hands up shaking
At home his wife is talking on the phone to her sister about going up there on vacation

Mike says
Please I have a wife and kids

Please don't **** me
Please Please dear God don't **** me

Mikes daughter was making him a fathers day card with a glue stick and glitter
Mikes son was licking the **** of some girl. Parkeed out by the Big Red Rock.

Mike Listens
Mike wants to live

Listen Mike
I say cool calm and collected

Your about to get it mike
Mike imagines his wife reading his obituary

You are about to lose your own soul Mike
You know...gain the whole world

Your about to be free Mike
You are one of the lucky ones

No need to thank me once you've gone Mike
You just enjoy it

For a second Mike looked like he understood
like he mighta got it

Let that which is given
Become lost

Let that which is gained
Become lost

Let this ******* pig, ****, trash, ****-stained-matress of a life
Be put out with the Monday trash

Mike knew he was in for it
Done for

I asked mike if he wanted to die like a man
I looked him hard in the eyes

He said he sure did
I asked him if he was ready to do the work of the universe

The work of god
Yes I am

I hand mike the gun
and the first bullet takes me through the right eye

So slow I can feel the optic nerve sever
before I die

before I die
I see mike standing over me

Looking down at me
this giant bleeding hole in my head

Mike says thank you
I tell him...Hey Dont Mention It

After he empties the rest of the rounds into my head
Mike walks out into the desert

He walks to my car
Fills it with gas

and gets inside
right there on the seat where I left the

box of shells for him to find
reloading

key turn
engine crank

and the car pulls slowly onto the street
the car drives down the desert road

****, it sure feels good to be free

I guess you have beautiful eyes
all those straight lines you make in my mind
I have so much to ask for
you dont want it all because you forget
I know what I'm doing
When I see you walk by
When I watch you walk by

I guess when your lost in this world
where the one you love
doesnt have your name
burned into their mind

Please don't be much longer
It's already been clock after number
Please I know

Its fun to be so lost
but you should remain down there as long as you can
lost in the sky