It's not my fault that you're a catastrophe that outshines entire galaxies,
and that the remnants from your explosion lies within my own body
and the bodies of everyone who has the privilege to experience your beautiful tragedy.
Felt from light-years away,
you exceed the amount of love the sun provides everything in its wake,
and you're a burst of color who's shades travel at record speed
impaling everything in your path in a flash so blinding
that even my heart can't see straight.
You're the most violent event ever known
but I'm anything but destroyed.
You  can blow yourself apart as many times as you want
but I'll never see you as simply the death of something beautiful.
Instead I see you as the puzzle pieces that create universes you'd never imagine when put back together.
Long story short,
you're cataclysmic to life as we know it,
but you're everything I need to feel together again.

I trace the curve of your spine
And write my secrets on your bones

We're surrounded by others
But your eyes say we're all alone

Is it that I'm myself with you,
Or that you're yourself with me?
Maybe it's the feeling of togetherness,
the power of we.

I don't know of it was that **** smirk
Your scent,
Your clothes
Or your jokes
All I know is you turned me inside out
My usual thought-out replies
Replaced with a measly choke

There's really no thesis to this,
No ******, no conclusion

Everything I just described so vividly
Is merely a self-made illusion

I haven't met you yet - the one that'll make flowers blossom in the corners of my mind

Who I'll crave and adore
And with whom I will spend my time

I'm not waiting for you, I have no time to seek

You're somewhere living your own life.
Each minute,
Hour,
Week.

The memories you're making now I will hear about in years to come

Along with your whispers in my ear: "This is it... you're the one."

Maybe you think you're in love now, with him or she

But the universe will make it happen

The one you love... it'll be me.

The first thing I do each morning is wonder if you had a better night's seep than I did.
I don't sleep much these days, and I know you don't either, even though you don't want to admit it sometimes.
I know, though.
And each morning when I lay there in a daze I think about how strongly I long to know that you were finally able to experience the "sweet dreams" I told you to have the night before.
**I've never longed for anything as much as this.

i always thought
you were thru traffic
that you were just jet lag
background noise
the kiss in the rain
i've never had
but what if you aren't?
what if this
was the thousandth time
i have loved you?
what if this is just a fresh coat of paint?
what if god
keeps a handkerchief
soaked in the day we met
next to his bed?
maybe theres a reason
i reach for no one in bed
the way i would
if someone used to be there
you know, they say
the road behind us
is littered with things
we couldn't hold onto
i wonder how many times
you've slipped through my hands
like hour glass sand
do you know
how much erosion you've caused?
i heard cupid
stopped keeping count
of how many times
we came together
just to come apart again
maybe it was just a rumor
it makes me think
about how many times
i've almost had you
like if all this talk
about history repeating itself
endlessly replaying is true
i wonder how many times
things have happened already
like the time
i tried talking you
into loving me back
back fired
or the time i could have sworn
jesus & lazarus were playing chess
with my heartbeat
but it was only you smiling
how many times
have i tried to tell you
how many times
have you read this poem
how many times
have i tried not to meet you
in my dreams anymore
it's like sleep tries to warn
me of what's happening
before it does but
i keep having this dream
where i tell you bedtime stories
and each one
is a different way you die
and in every one
i can never save you
it's like you're this song
i have on repeat
and every time it starts over
i forget the words
it's like you picked up the book entitled "us"
and the back cover
said you'd leave
so you never bothered reading it
tell me you aren't
going back in that bookstore
just to do it again
or will you tell me tomorrow?
or is this the time
you don't say anything at all?
if this has all happened before
if we call it quits
before we begin
again
from the beginning
i just want to ask you
to be my fire
because i am tired
of these old lives
and i'd like to see them
burn