Tiara I S

Tiara I S May 29

and I walk away- everytime

before- the tags diverge from romance and **** to revenge, toxic, abuse, and worse

hairline fracture in him discovered- and then ah, it's honestly no wonder

when they've lost my foundation of trust
it all sweeps away as if shattered glass swept into a dustpan

what could have been- crackling to nothing in an instant like detonated highrises-

when those thick clouds roll overhead
with an exasperated sigh I roll my eyes-

and I go inside-

I am not going to brave bad weather as if it's deserving of a medal

Tiara I S May 29

April 21 2025

there's rotting fruit- in my room
over-ripened flesh dancing in my vision
gone bad too soon- bursting spores and warm juices
summer scorches and syrup bubbles
sticky vapors clinging to my skin
wish I could peel myself from this rotting flesh
I can't help but watch the molding tree wither
should have many years but here we are
it smells of sweet decay- I can't prevent
thin membrane pierced with a touch
if you gulp it down- your stomach will turn from within
wash it from my hands but it's already inside
wish I could douse myself in bleach
I've poisoned myself too many times before

Tiara I S Nov 2024

20221224

forced joy bleeds me numb
and disturbed reflexive expressions make me wonder
if I have the right to paint my corner grey
its not my fault we all take up some sort of space
and you're not strong enough to avoid my vortex
so don't look at me like I spat in your strawberry parfait
when I left mine to melt 'cause of my sedentary ways
leave my presence if I'm not happy enough for you
I'm not begging for your toxic help- and I'm not always this way
just this section of the planet's revolution
leaves sand in my gears and grinds a paste lightning could strike to glass
so leave me be- forced joy bleeds me numb
and I have the right to process my own demise

Tiara I S Nov 2024

depression is gelatinous

tear it from my body- inky tendril by tendril
fused into my spine- commanding me when I'm nervous

I'm swinging from a pendulum, so high I'd crack my skull if I fell

choke it down so far down- the black phlegm that lines my lungs
that spit soaked yarn expanding- and collapsing with my breathing

I laugh behind a palm that hides black spores
eyes so dead behind my smiles
coughing- spitting up tar so vile it nauseates

I sleep with all the shards haunting my peripheral
fragmented memories pungent with

emotions I can't soak off
scrub and scrub- wish to rinse off down a drain

how is no one else seeing the stains-
that coat my skin in layers of ink
dripping from my skin and splashing with every step I take

220804

Tiara I S Nov 2024

98°f is a fever for me

I've seen it for years
the red ribbons
fluttering and snapping to wrap around me
tighten me to a cocoon
I cannot breathe
fever dream encasing me so extreme
sweat broken and ridges remain in my skin
I've felt it since I was thirteen
the red ribbons
tightly threaded to my body
holding me down in a limbo of safe and caution
bitter pitted cherries smudged on my lips
tingles that chase down my spine and frozen limbs
discomfort is home and I don't go out much
and when sickness strikes me I know the red ribbons will follow

I always get sick around my birthday & it's usually a fever with hallucinations

Tiara I S Nov 2024

drowned then, treading now

I miss the way it felt-- never
my present is my best present
and my gifts are years overdue
so sick of the life I was always told what to do-
never for myself- always for the sake of other's moods
I never knew- how tormented I was
until I cut the rope from around my neck
swam back up from the ocean's depths
the weight of their expectations sinking
yet there's phantom hands shoving me under
before I can catch my breath
the sun's never been within my sight

220729

Tiara I S Nov 2024

20220726

butterflies ***** out the mouth- ascend into the atmos'
smooth soft supple skin teased beneath a tongue
color emotions in the hues found in the night sky
gripping jiggly flesh- spill out until you're spent
all that's felt should be thrown out- that's how you've dealt
devour women one after the other- crush any flicker of feeling
caterpillars line your gut and acid dissolves any cocoon
lies spill past your lips like oil from a busted ocean rig
arms envelop and lightly sway- tickle her ears till crystallized
swear she's to blame when- you flowered a monarch of expectations

men.