In my dreams you are always there.
Your fingers are in my mouth,
Your hand down my back,
Scratching slower and slower.
I can only hear you move and breathe and touch.
You are all I see.
Slow and slow and slow.
Your skin and your eyes and your mouth.
I don't even know how to write about all that you are.

You are so beautiful I don't know what to do.
You are so beautiful.

do not muse yourself with ideas that i no longer think of you
do not muse yourself with ideas that i do
the boys i kiss don't taste like you,
the boys i kiss don't feel you
the boys i kiss do not take me upstairs

i realize i spend time staring at one who mimics you
only sightly though,
only barely

do not dream that this is harder on me than you
nor that this is harder on you than me
i know i am an absence in your bed,
at your dinner table,
in the curve of your body when you lie on your side

do not worry, i am not dreaming of you
do not worry, i am dreaming of you

i do not want you,
i will want you.

november.12.2013
*1:42 P.M.