wish i hadn't lost my way
wish i hadn't gone astray
wish that nightmare hadn't stained
wish my faith defeat my pain

wish my memory hadn't failed
wish my love-light hadn't paled
wish my passion had not staled
and how i wish my memory hadn't failed

almost thought i'd lost your name
nearly got lost in the game

thought my soul would steer this ship
thought my mind would get a grip
wish this moment wouldn't stick
and ****, i wish my mind would get a grip

glad i listened to the wind
glad i remembered she was friend
glad i listened to the rain
glad your name, it finally came

My throat hurts cause it's tired of being muzzled
And my head hurts cause it's tired of all the struggle
And my eyes hurt cause they're sick of seeing double
And my heart hurts cause it's sick of all my troubles

And I'm tired – I'm tired of the pain
And I'm tired – I'm tired of trying to attain
I'm tired – tired of missing God
And I'm tired – tired of feeling like a fraud

My mind hurts cause it's always speeding
And my hands hurt cause they're always bleeding
And my blood hurts anytime there's feeding
And my back hurts cause it's sick of always needing

And I'm happy – I'm happy to be here
And I'm happy – I'm happy in the moments that I'm clear
I'm happy when my body's fluid
And I'm happy when I see there's nothing to it

And my heart hurts cause it's under covers
And my root hurts cause of lack of lover
And my soul hurts cause it misses God
And my mind hurts cause it's tired of waiting for applause

And my shoulders are heavy from the weight
And I'm tired – tired of trying to relate
I'm humbled when I hear my heart
And I'm grateful – I'm grateful every time I start

And I'm praying – I'm praying for release
And I'm praying – I'm praying for that phantom peace
I'm praying for my cells to wake
And I'm praying – I pray this time the change will take

And I'm happy when I sing to you
And I'm happy when I feel and see the truth
I'm happy when I step outside
And I'm happy when I see there's nothing left to hide

I promise to listen to my heart
And I promise – I'll listen till I feel my part
I promise – I promise to be true
And I swear, I swear I'll give this life to you

one by one, my friends walk away
then it's the part in the play where they say
'don't forget that you wanted this'

'you're the one that made this happen again,
cause you push everyone away and that's when -
you can be the lonely artist'

i guess i wonder if it's all true
if i'm the one who's being the fool
have i been lost since the start of it?

that's to say my truth's been a lie
it was really only in my mind
am i to give up this awful bliss?

must be shedding my skin again
wish this would happen much less often
keep thinking i know who i am

truth be known - this moment, i'm lost
now my body's paying the cost
and here i'm still blaming it on them

then the walls come tumbling down
sanity's nowhere to be found
my identity's wandering
swear i thought by now i'd be sound
thought i'd have my feet on the ground
haven't known since i don't know when

when this started
and the story began
it was twisted
and now here i am
all defensive
with nowhere to stand
far from my element -
i forgot who i am

There's this quiet sadness that I just can't kick
And with all the madness - might as well get lit
See - they've all gone crazy on me in this town
If it were a painting, they'd be upside down

This whole thing started when I packed my bags
Told them I was leaving and I won't come back
Put the past behind me - go and find my way
Let the sunshine shine me to my brighter day

Now it's four years later - circle's come full round
Seems I'm finally walking with my feet on the ground
Till this lady hit me with her Durango
I got knocked the **** out - back to ground zero

So I leave the sunshine - trade it for the cold
And my body's battered and my soul is torn
So I drag the pieces back, I'm jersey bound
And I had to give up all that peace I'd found

So it's been a good bit now I've been back home
And I traded heaven for some open road
And I'm back with family where it all began
And I've come to understand just why I ran

And tho it's maddening - it still feels so good
To get back to where, somehow, I'm understood
Cause this place is where I let that sadness sprout
So it's only here that I can work it out

Here's my lesson - hurt is hard straight on
To see that you have old wounds that aren't yet gone
But just let them come up and soon you will see
That you've got to really feel it to get free

So it's 2 years since then now, I've come to learn
That it's harder to get up once you've been burned
But I keep my head up - truckin - faith I've found
So that now my own voice is the sweetest sound

i’m not angry, i’m just scared
i’m put here but i’m not prepared
sink of dishes, pale of tin
it’s too cold not to let you in

i ask my friend where she’s been
she tells me life is full of sin
i ask my lovers where they’ve gone
they sing to me that same old song
they tell me that it won’t be long
before the sun shines in but
i’m still waiting out the storm
the half-moon glows late after dawn

i’m not sure where to start
or how to fix this broken heart
the music, it still plays on
even though everyone is gone
i ask the mouse with the squeaky voice
he tells me that he’s had no choice
the way it is, they way it’ll be
he tells me just to stop and see

the indian, his flute will play
the sky will always be this gray
the soldiers march in disarray
today’s just like any other day

in my head i sing a song
and i know that it won’t be long
before this cloud lifts from me and
i will hum the harmony

the way it is – the way it goes
this ball of fear gathers and grows
the answer’s somewhere i suppose
in the hands of those who know

how i see you and you see me
do we have a chance at harmony?
i guess that’s been our mystery
let it go  –  let it be

acres of land and i'm one person here
vacant i stand - sure wish the weather would clear
hill tops and safe crops and rose petal skies
wish i could remember how i got here or why

i saw your dragon eye
wish you'd do something other than sigh
the silence is haunting like this lucid sky
but just as romantic as wondering why

can't seem to talk to you - often i try
can't light that candle cause we'll burn with that lie

still know i'm safe here - that's why i stay
my heart knows no fear - i've trained it that way

i saw your dragon eye
wish you'd do something other than sigh
the silence is haunting like this lucid sky
but just as romantic as wondering why

still i can't talk to you - often i try
wish you could do something other than sigh

I still watch you
You're still sly
I can't stop you
So why try
I'll just watch you
While you lie
Keep your game up
Or at least you'll try
Just remember
It won't fly
Truth always comes
Why deny

You can't stay here
All you know is fear
You can't not care
We'll go nowhere
Please don't do that
Cause you'll fall flat
I'll still be here
Once you are clear

Cause you are me
And I am you
I'll be patient
Till you're all through
When you wake up
There'll be work to do
Pick your head up
Cause we're far from through
But pay no mind
Cause when this is through
There'll be good times
All our dreams come true

You can't stay here
All you know is fear
You can't not care
We'll go nowhere
Please don't do that
Cause you'll fall flat
I'll still be here
Once you are clear