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Shelley Connor Dec 2015
The Ravens are leaving the tower
Abandoning the wreck
No promise that
Love could return
No reason to stay
For they know if they did
That a bitter knife
Would find its way
Straight through each and every feathered heart
Each and every whim and wish
Better to fly and
maybe find hope elsewhere
Shelley Connor Oct 2015
The Silence

The bubbles
that hover above our heads,
bursting with words
that are scratching and tearing to get out,
create an eerie sense of foreboding.
Yet the words will not come.
They are trapped in a wrapper
of love that prevents us
from saying what we must,
And yet,
the wrappers are transparent.
We can see them and feel them
even though we dare not speak them,
but we choose to ignore them,
in case maybe
they will just float away.
Shelley Connor Aug 2015
On my own again
When each night until you return
Feels like a thousand years
When the ache is so bad
I can no longer produce tears
Just a sadness prevailing
And my heart slowly ailing
Until I am frightened it will harden
And feel no more

When my laughter
Seems like the laughter of another
So that I look around
For its author, surprised that it's me
When the daily chatter of
How are you's and weather
Sticks in my throat
Because unless we are together
I feel nothing
Shelley Connor Aug 2015
A new notebook
with a beautiful cover
beckons me
to open it and to use it,
make it my own,
to explore my own hidden thoughts and desires,
to set myself free.
Yet I am frightened.
For what if I started to write,
branded it with my purpose
and then could not finish it?
What if my purpose deviated?
It would be a book of confusion,
damaged by its first love.
A beautiful ******, ruined by change.
Shelley Connor Aug 2015
I was 18
Unfettered
Fresh faced, eager
World was mine
Life of party
Soul of clubbing
And so I drank wine

25
Treated badly
Blackened marriage
Drew the line
Parents shocked
And disappointed
And so I drank wine

32
Lost a baby
Twisted heart strings
No more chime
Shadows fell
Another heartbreak
And so I drank wine

39
Working hard
Breaking boundaries
Nows my time
To then discover
I'm just a number
And so I drank wine

42
Love of life came
New beginnings
Feeling fine
But the habits
Setting in now
And so I drank wine

51
What can change
Drinking daily
Not a crime
Till my doctor
At a checkup
Tells me straight
Down the line
One more drop
You'll be gone
Your glass empty
Before your time
And I wonder
Do I care?
And so I drank wine
(This isn't about me - well not yet anyway!)
Shelley Connor Jul 2015
The bright light
from my neighbours garage
where he slaves over motorbikes
until late into the night
makes me wonder
if he is working through love
or lack of it
Shelley Connor Jul 2015
I thank my dad
For my strength of character
My mum
For the written word
To them both for tenacity
Though neither for warmth
And from some of the things
As a child, seen and heard
I sometimes wonder
Why they stayed together
And would never aspire
To an unequal love
Held together by children
And faith in above
But despite years of "existence"
No pleasure, or gain
The dynamics shifted
And when push came to shove
When my father so strong
Let life's pressures get in
Fell to panic, depression
Fear of death, light wore thin
My mother,
strong from her own quiet pain
Brow beaten and trodden down
Rose up, drew him close,
Helped him tackle his fears
Helped him realise that strength
Is not tough, harsh, verbose
His eyes were opened
And though late on in years
They at last grew together
My father much softer
My mother much loved
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