Sheeda

Sheeda Mar 2013

She makes me sing
On the inside and out
She makes my heart flutter and soar
To have her lips pressed against mine
To show her through fingers entwined
Just how much
How much she means to me
Would be so much more than I can ask
But sadly my hands are tied
I am a friend before a lover
And seek to maintain the peace
And prevent the pain
But as I told her and I tell myself
If she wants me
Needs me
I am here
Me and my heart
Broken or not.

Mon Amii, mais pas la mienne. :/

Sheeda Mar 2013

Past (03.06.13)

You can't shake if off
Hold it tight and hide it deep
You can't disappear it or run away.
It attaches all the more strongly
A malevolent cancer comprised of memories.
It resurfaces, exposing all the ugly to the sun.
It reappears and catches up.
Grasps at your mind with greedy tendrils
And poisons it with regret, guilt, shame, and sorrow.
You pick yourself up from each dreadful bout
And move up and on and away.
But it follows like a steady companion
As sure as Yesterday and the day before
Wherever you try to follow your Tomorrow
It's a plague on the present and malady to the future
Doctor, Doctor I need a cure.

I need a cure for my inescapable past.

Sheeda Feb 2013

Untitled

Broken within, broken without
Broken within broken without
SAnity is but a dream
Row your boat to a merry place
And move move move on
Find the sunrise and abandon sunsets
Move move move east
Around and around circles
No relief
Row Row
Never stop
Die
Free

I hate the life I'm living now.

Sheeda Feb 2013

dandy (02.15.13)

Beautiful, elusive
Dancing on light feet
Fleeting
To catch you and hold you close
Making wishes and promises
In six-inch voices
Is worth watching you
Float away
Just a little bit heavier
With the burden
Of my whispered dreams.

Sheeda Feb 2013

I dare ya (02.14.13)

I dare ya to ask
I dare ya...
Please.
Hold my hand or place a rose in it
And look deep into these stargazing eyes
And say
just for today
Will you
Can you
Honey, please
Be, oh, be
Mine, mine
My valentine?
I guarantee you'll get a yes out of me
So I dare ya
ask
please

Sheeda Feb 2013

Ode to Oreo (02.02.13)

Oh, oh Oreo
Oreo the cat
Who makes of ripped up paper towels
Very fancy hats
Oh, oh Oreo
My silly little friend
Who through ridiculous antics
Amuses to no end
Oh, oh Oreo
Sniffer of all shoes
Faced with the choice of sniffing strangers
It's their footwear that you choose.
Oh, oh Oreo
Speaker of cat tongue
I pretend to understand your words
But my translations are far-flung
Oh, oh Oreo
Warmer of my lap and heart
I promise now as I did before
We will never be apart.

Just a silly little ode to my kitten :] She's really dumb, but I love her. When I first got her, I promised that I would never leave her, ever. Never, ever, ever gonna break this promise. Oh, she isn't exactly Oreo colored... more like oreo-that-fell-in-mud colored (shes a calico :D). Also, she was sitting in my lap as I was writing this.

Sheeda Jan 2013

Once upon a dream (01.22.13)

Once in my life
I have died and felt it
Once upon a dream.
A needle was embedded in the crook of my arm
And I drifted and sank
I felt my entire body go limp all at once
and the covers rise to cradle my form
All the more gently.
Every burden, every trouble dissolved
Into a darkening black
And relief washed over my soul
My mind
I was finally at peace.
As I embraced it
I was yanked from its grasp
Thrown back into the reality
Only dreams can impart
And then still further
Into the life I tried to escape through sleep.
I opened my eyes and lay there
Breath came slowly to and from my lungs
Disappointment clouded tear-filled eyes
And I longed for relief by death in a dream
That I have not had since.

That one dream will haunt my memory forever. I felt as though I had actually tasted death and I had never in my life felt as relieved as I did at that moment. I haven't had that sense of complete relaxation since then, but how I wish for it.